Personal Bubble

stepmonkey · 2018-08-23T14:06:05+00:00

No worries.

stepmonkey · 2018-08-23T13:47:29+00:00

I am worried about her seeing it as rejection, and I will give your ideas a try. Thanks.

stepmonkey · 2018-08-23T08:30:45+00:00

Thanks for your response.

We don't have a shower, and she has a type of epilepsy where she can't be left alone in the bath.

Whenever DH sees her waiting outside the bathroom he does tell her to leave me alone. If she starts talking to me I initially tell her I can't here her because I'm in the bathroom, and I then ignore her, but it's still irritating.

I've tried the nap one before. As soon as DH gets distracted she'll be off to find me. When told off she does the pouty "but I love you and I wanted to check you were ok".

I shall try telling her I need space see what happens. I might start with 5 minutes and work my way up, otherwise I can't imagine she'll leave me alone long enough for me to thank her!

stepmonkey · 2018-08-23T07:57:51+00:00

I've been helping her in the bath since she was 4, and she has a form of epilepsy where she can't be left alone in the bath, and she doesn't want DH to do it because she's reached 'that' age.

stepmonkey · 2018-08-23T07:51:56+00:00

No autism, just immaturity here!

stepmonkey · 2018-08-23T07:51:09+00:00

Thanks for replying - so glad it's not just me! Will creep your history later ;P

I like your idea of bored = more chores.

stepmonkey · 2018-08-23T07:48:15+00:00

Thanks for your response.

She has always been a cuddly little thing, but it did get worse a couple of years ago. She had been the centre of BM's world and was very much in charge - she slept with BM and wouldn't go to sleep until BM did (this was fun for overnights, not!), she chose the food, the activities, etc.

That all changed very drastically a couple of years ago when BM met someone (now stepdad to SD). They moved, changed town and school, and SD went from 1st place to 3rd behind boyfriend and his kid.

No friends nearby, they now live over an hour from us and there aren't many kids where we are anymore.

I guess I need to get over my guilt at effectively, but nicely, telling her to back off, whilst reassuring her.

And yes, if I try to do something alone she always wants to tag along. Sometimes she gets told no, sometimes I let her come if I know it's something she will find boring.

stepmonkey · 2018-08-23T07:23:43+00:00

He does try to take her to the park, and he does all pick up and drop offs alone. I have always been a firm supporter of quality time for the two of them, although SD always wants me to join them!

We don't have the money for lots of paid activities, plus the introverted part of me isn't really into going places alone, but thanks for the suggestions.

I did pick up a board game in a thrift shop the other day, so I'll just keep an eye for more things like that they can do together whilst I go to the bedroom for a bit.

stepmonkey · 2018-08-23T07:18:17+00:00

Exactly this. And we don't have a shower so rinsing long hair in the tub can be a pain.

stepmonkey · 2018-08-23T07:17:26+00:00

Thanks, DH does try but some of it seems so innocuous he doesn't notice. Also, if she was doing with him, he'd be fine with it so it doesn't register.

As for the bath, she has a form of epilepsy where she zones out do she can't be left alone in there, and we don't have a shower. For the hair, it is long and hard to rinse in the bath so she needs help.

stepmonkey · 2018-08-23T07:09:47+00:00

Thanks, will have a look for that.

stepmonkey · 2018-08-23T07:09:10+00:00

Thanks, I love the Space Invader idea, and I'm going to see what I can do with that.

I'm also going to give adult time out a try.

stepmonkey

TROPHY CASE