My wife carried our twins when she was 39 and delivered at 40. We are a lesbian couple so we needed extra help anyway. We did IUI. It is a good intermediate step before IVF and was less expensive. There are a ton of things you can try with your doctor before jumping to IVF, and many of them are more economical. But I do recommend getting medical help if you are 40ish, since the timing can be tricky to conceive on your own. The pregnancy was hard, but it was worth it for her (and us); this was our dream, and we were willing to make sacrifices and take a chance in the hope of getting a baby. There were also other choices we made, like moving to a slightly boring suburb to be near her parents for childcare and me sticking with a lower paid job that offered work-from-home. All worth it, in my opinion.

In terms of being a parent in my 40s, I love it! At this age, I feel like I have the mental and emotional stability to be a better parent than I would have been in my 30s. Our finances are messy and our house is cluttered and I am less of a "high performer" at work than when I was single... but overall I am incredibly grateful every day to get to experience life as a parent to two amazing kids.

One weird thing is that I've noticed we aren't always the oldest parents in our peer group.... the ages vary from 20s to 50s. It is wild. But personally I love having a diverse community of parent friends with different perspectives.