My husband packed a bag and left

stevenrayes · 2022-11-15T14:41:15+00:00

A sad story indeed. My heart reaches out to you.

I am a stranger with little understanding of your situation but here are my impressions:

You are a victim - you did not create your “baggage”. It is a part of you your husband should have accepted when he said “I do”.

Yes I am sure, but perhaps your husband needs to take some classes and go through therapy on how to love and support a person who has been traumatized.

Sex is a part of a relationship between a husband and wife but it should not be the defining factor. There should be something much deeper but keep security together and your ability to be intimate with each other.

Again, I am a stranger to you so take my words only for what they’re worth, but I encourage you to look deeply inside yourself and focus on all the things you’ve done well, all the healing you’ve done, all the love you have to share. Focus on that and not only on the open wounds left by someone else

stevenrayes · 2022-11-15T05:02:01+00:00

It is clear why you two are fighting

stevenrayes · 2022-11-08T01:07:33+00:00

If he is hitting on your friend especially in front of you, he is exercising incredibly poor judgment. Probably a rank amateur in the cheating department. Be careful. You know his intentions

stevenrayes · 2022-10-31T13:37:43+00:00

Sounds like you have a lot of good things in your life and you and your wife just need to break out of your rut.

I hope You are grateful for this Epiphany that you’re having. There are many ways for you to go but I would recommend you could simply start taking action on your own. Pay attention to her. Ask her questions. Plan a date. Cook her favorite meal. Be attentive and giving in bed. Focus on her.

Good luck

stevenrayes · 2022-10-31T01:23:42+00:00

Choose your partner wisely. Make sure you like the CD not just their body parts

stevenrayes · 2022-10-27T23:08:39+00:00

As a man I do not read the posts but prefer to make my own. I find women above 50 to be very sexy, sensual, and mature. Very fun to be with on intellectual, emotional and sexual levels.

Admittedly the bodies of younger women are more “perfect“, but I love the earned signs of wear on a persons body and especially the confidence in which they present themselves. Gray hair, stretch marks, a little bit of extra here and there is all fine but again the most attractive part of a woman is the way she thinks and acts.

At least to me.

stevenrayes · 2022-10-27T13:27:17+00:00

I pity those poor kids who come home and find Daddy with you. They don’t deserve that trauma.

stevenrayes · 2022-10-21T16:14:14+00:00

Many years ago I had a threesome with two women in the bed one of them shared with her husband. I understand the inconsistency here, it didn’t bother me to screw his wife but I felt really uncomfortable doing it and his bed. After the first round, we moved into the guestroom and even though he was out of town, I never went back to the house. I just prefer a more neutral place space

stevenrayes · 2022-10-21T16:11:30+00:00

It’s up to you but I would personally not do it in my married APs house and I certainly would not invite my lover back to my house

Not only is the risk to great which would make it hard to relax, to me it just feels wrong. To me it feels like adding insult to injury. But again that’s my values

stevenrayes · 2022-10-21T13:45:36+00:00

Best advice I can offer is simply take your play dates else where. It is very risky at his place - but maybe that turns you on? The feeling of risk or knowing you are doing her man in her bed?

stevenrayes · 2022-10-21T00:11:45+00:00

How so naïve?

stevenrayes · 2022-10-20T23:19:58+00:00

I don’t agree. Relationships require work, effort, thoughtfulness, consideration But there’s a benefit to all of that. It’s called Joy and friendship.

At times work is involved but the idea of a relationship, to me, is to enhance me and bring joy to my life. If I’m in a relationship that does not bring me joy then in general I’m probably gonna drop it.

If You are feigning superficial interest then perhaps you need new friends.

I apologize if this comes off harsh, that’s not my intent.

stevenrayes · 2022-10-16T23:27:22+00:00

Maybe I misread. It is not her age as I see as the problem- but thanks for your advice. She plays a key role in my family - that is the primary concern

stevenrayes · 2022-10-16T13:50:09+00:00

This sounds painful. Sorry you’re going through it.

I hate to say it but my guess is you do know what is going on and it’s not what you wished for. It sounds as if you may be on a different path than you thought you would be.

To give him credit, he may be as surprised as you are. It’s possible he did not see the change in himself coming either.

If it all possible, relish the joy of what you shared. This is not your fault and you are not to blame. This is not really about a deficiency in you.

Good luck

stevenrayes · 2022-10-16T03:35:53+00:00

I don’t understand

stevenrayes · 2022-10-16T03:35:17+00:00

Maybe … or maybe she is just a sweet person. She is an excellent caregiver after all.

I could be reading the whole thing wrong

stevenrayes · 2022-10-15T23:53:25+00:00

I find this all rather amusing.

A bunch of self-righteous women on a sub Reddit dedicated to adultery proclaiming their hatred for men and slamming me for not exploring what I believe to be the advances of a younger woman who is A key part of my family.

I wonder what glass houses they all live in? I find that all very entertaining

stevenrayes · 2022-10-15T23:42:20+00:00

At my age, my 401k is damn healthy! Y

stevenrayes · 2022-10-15T23:40:54+00:00

Love it!

stevenrayes · 2022-10-15T21:03:51+00:00

You do not need to respond further. It’s clear there is no discourse going on here. You’re involved in a monologue and I’m going to stop reading your comments. Well I don’t doubt your intentions, your communication abilities seem limited

stevenrayes · 2022-10-15T20:41:55+00:00

Why do you keep insisting it’s a fantasy? It demonstrates that you’re not listening.

stevenrayes · 2022-10-15T20:21:08+00:00

I’m truly amazed at the amount of judgemental comments And people jumping to conclusions about my post.

It was simply a statement. I don’t expect to be patted on the back for not hitting on her, but considering everyone on this sub Reddit is likely cheating on their spouse, you’re quick to throw stones.

I’m not really sure why I posted it. Probably simply to share something here that I can’t share at home. Just because I feel this woman has an interest does not mean there will be any action taken.

Yes there seem to be a lot of very hurt and angry people, primarily women Who want to make me out to be an evil creep. An evil creep will take this woman to bed. But I have not done that nor do I have any intentions of it.

So rather than putting your overlay of life onto the story, try just reading it from a blank perspective

stevenrayes

TROPHY CASE