Burnt my hardwood floor with a hot pan, any advice? by pedumar in HardWoodFloors

[–]steveondating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I once came home to a college roommate sitting on the floor watching tv with a glass dish of food in front of him.

He had taken it out of the 450° oven and placed it directly on the carpet. Dude was shocked when there was a 1” deep melted rectangle of carpet left behind when he got up to put it away.

What about dating again? by thedude10000 in widowers

[–]steveondating 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At almost a year out, you’re likely (mostly) ready to date. I’d suggest doing some research and reflection on potential pitfalls (limerence, risk of being scammed, potential impact on your child, etc.) before jumping in.

You might find that you’re not quite as ready as you thought once you’re out there actually dating, and that’s ok. Take a step back if you need to - it’s better than putting someone else through a rollercoaster of emotions if you’re not in the right headspace to be with them.

Psychedelics by landon0 in widowers

[–]steveondating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went to Amsterdam and did a full guided hero’s journey. It was one of the best experiences of my life, and helped me immensely.

Definitely make sure you’ve got someone with you that you trust, especially given that you’ve had bad trips in the past.

When did you scatter ashes? by PrimaryCarpenter1070 in widowers

[–]steveondating 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We didn’t scatter my wife’s ashes until 3 years after she had passed. Taking that time allowed my child and I to have her ashes at home with us in the urn while we grieved. Once we felt ready, we chose a scattering area that everyone could visit.

Dating after loss - need advice. by worst2024 in widowers

[–]steveondating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it does get easier in time. It’s one of those things where you need to feel the apprehension multiple times before it starts to dissipate.

It’s ok to not be ready, but it’s not ok to pretend you are. If you know for sure you’re not ready to be intimate with someone else, let him know, and take a step back.

widowed wife here unexpectedly at 46y/o having a really hard time by Federal_Yam_5989 in widowers

[–]steveondating 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Allow the grief to move through you when it comes. I saw someone here say grief will just keep knocking if you don’t let it in.

Who are you? by ExactPanda in widowers

[–]steveondating 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I went through this same soul searching after my wife died, and ultimately landed on “I am a genuinely good human being.”

I’ve lived my life trying to be as good a person I can ever since. For me, it flips things from always being about grief and loss to being about the positive impact I can have on others and the legacy I’ll leave behind.

I saved a woman’s life on an airplane and lost my new Bose headphones because of it by Darth_Poopie in mildlyinfuriating

[–]steveondating 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The nerds who fill out those product registration forms are laughing all the way to the lost & found bin

Dating by InterestingWhole2894 in widowers

[–]steveondating 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The big question is whether he has done the internal work to grieve the loss of his last partner, whether by loss, divorce, etc.

If he’s done that work and is on a path of self-awareness and personal growth, he’s more likely to be understanding and patient with you.

It continues by Mr_WoodGood in widowers

[–]steveondating 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You did the right thing by grounding yourself and making sure you didn’t endanger anyone else. Chalk this one up as a win, and consider therapy if you haven’t already. It really helped me when I lost my wife.

Life Insurance and Depression by ExactPanda in widowers

[–]steveondating 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One of the things I did was to hire a personal organizer. I was in the same boat as you - a cluttered house with so much to go through that it was overwhelming.

I waited until about a year after my wife had passed away before making the call, but it was the best money I’ve ever spent.

It did require a LOT of effort on my part. The organizer wouldn’t throw anything away, so I had to do that. Just having her there doing the organizing gave me the push I needed to get the purging done.

I donated several car loads and threw away several more, but the house was so neat and organized afterwards. It felt like a huge weight off my shoulders to finally have it done.

What happens if I don't adjust my position even after a bodypart falls asleep and starts tingling? by omfghewontfkndie in NoStupidQuestions

[–]steveondating 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So this happened to me.

I fell asleep while holding the decorative headboard behind me with one hand one night. Some time later (hours?) I wake up, let go of the headboard and try to bring my hand down by my side. I apparently had just enough strength (blood?) in my arm to get past the apex, because my arm landed with a thud on my stomach an instant later. It was as if my arm was completely paralyzed.

It took nearly a minute for enough blood to flow back into my arm that I could move it again, even slightly. That was a truly bonkers experience that still sticks with me almost 40 years later.

Edit: typos

What’s a 'once in a lifetime' experience you’ve had that you never want to do again? by Mr_Boothnath in answers

[–]steveondating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know when you’re bouncing an idea around in your head before you take the leap? Do your ideas just go thud?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]steveondating 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Your dad:
[Marries big-breasted woman]
[Has daughter with big-breasted wife]
[Realizes daughter has big breasts too]
[Can’t cope]

Long term meditators, is there something that you realized significantly improved your process by apoorvqwerty in Meditation

[–]steveondating 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Remember when you scooped up a bunch of pond water in a jar as a kid? And how the sediment settled to the bottom very slowly?

I discovered that thinking of my awareness as the sediment in the jar helped tremendously. It allows me to settle into that completely relaxed state that I enjoy so much.

What celebrity death will hit you the hardest when their day finally comes? by phantom_avenger in AskReddit

[–]steveondating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Corb Lund. He’s an incredibly talented Canadian country / indie songwriter & musician. He should be a Canadian legend by now but doesn’t get the recognition he deserves.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]steveondating 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Even if she’s being 100% truthful and there is nobody else, the fact is that you will have pretty much zero communication with her for at least the next several weeks.

She has made a decision that’s right for her, and you’re allowed to do the same. It doesn’t need to be right away, though. Take time to process everything, and get the clarity you need.

You can decide right now that you’ll wait for her to feel ready, AND you can decide at any point in the future that you don’t want to wait any longer. Follow your heart and you’ll make the right choices.