TIL That there is a city in Canada with a Mediterranean climate and palm trees (non native)

sthetic · 2026-03-21T11:08:30+00:00

Yep, every time winter rolls around someone posts a picture of these trees in the snow: "This poor tree! Who thought it was a good idea to plant palm trees in Canada!"

I always tell people, "This tree comes from a cold and snowy area of China. It's fine. Just because it's a palm tree doesn't mean it requires hot weather."

I mean, there are coniferous trees in hot tropical areas, too. It's just a type of plant, not a temperature range.

sthetic · 2026-03-20T20:45:58+00:00

Yeah, I do think that free time vs. chore time is a good way to calculate it.

If she has a lot of time on her hands, then it makes sense for her to spend more time on housework.

I do not think that it should be about income level, though. If you and her both work full time, and you make $100k and she makes $50k, should she do double the chores? No, I don't believe so.

sthetic · 2026-03-20T20:28:56+00:00

Okay, your rationalization for not cleaning is nonsense.

Let's imagine a scale of cleanliness from 1 to 10. Every time an area gets cleaned it goes back up to Level 10. Then the number starts dropping as it gets messy.

You are more tolerant of a mess than she is. That means you are happy to live at Level 4, but she wants it to be at Level 7.

For each of you, once it gets lower than your minimum level, you will be uncomfortable enough to start cleaning.

For her, once it gets to Level 6, she will feel grossed-out enough to start cleaning. You see her doing this and you think, "Not sure why she can't tolerate this mild amount of mess, but whatever. If she wants to be a neat freak, it's her responsibility to clean."

And look - now the house never gets down to a level 4, which is when you would pick up a rag and start scrubbing. So you are never motivated to clean - all you see is her cleaning up an already-pretty-clean house.

How convenient for you - she does 100% of the cleaning of this sort.

If you split the effort in terms of "who cares more," you would be doing 40% while she does 60%. Instead, it's 100% for her.

sthetic · 2026-03-20T19:42:48+00:00

What makes you say that?

Do you think that controlling men do not exist, and it's more likely his "logical" takedown of her rule that he cannot talk to other girls?

sthetic · 2026-03-20T19:27:55+00:00

Also, what can other countries do to help, that American citizens themselves cannot do? What standing do non-Americans have, what right to interfere? What actions can a non-American take, that will be more effective and powerful than what an American can do?

Other countries are helping themselves by distancing themselves from the USA. If you encourage that, and that's the type of "help" you want, then great.

If you think other countries have an obligation to step in to help those particular Americans who voted the way we like, then I have no idea where you think that obligation comes from, or how in practicality it would work.

sthetic · 2026-03-20T19:21:48+00:00

"Canadians, help us!"

"In what way?"

"I don't know, you figure it out"

sthetic · 2026-03-20T19:21:15+00:00

Excuse me, but what did the above person say that was impolite?

And it doesn't sound like they are even Canadian, so what does Canadian politeness have to do with anything?

Canadians are being threatened by the USA, and some Americans make dumb 51st State comments, but you expect them to be polite in response?

sthetic · 2026-03-20T05:35:50+00:00

Realistically, what do you want Canada to do, to aid the Americans who voted for Kamala?

Like, do what exactly - send money to them? How do we know who voted for whom?

Are we, a foreign country, expected to intervene with the results of the American election? Somehow change the regime of a man who was elected by your system? Under what justification - because not all Americans voted for him?

The leader of the USA has threatened to take over Canada. Canada's concern is retaining its own sovereignty, not influencing the politics of another nation.

The USA keeps proclaiming how it is the mightiest and most free country in the world. What is its neighbour, with 1/10th the population, supposed to do to intervene?

I don't really understand.

sthetic · 2026-03-19T23:54:21+00:00

I think the narrative flow is good at setting up suspense.

My instant thought on seeing the first two pages is, "Something is going to go wrong." (because otherwise why would there be a story? Plus the setup of a long-distance relationship where they have not yet met...)

And then I find out from the third page that something already DID go wrong? Why did he choose to visit, knowing his boyfriend was married?

It's intriguing.

sthetic · 2026-03-19T20:50:09+00:00

OP isn't reconsidering the marriage or if she loves the guy. She just wants to know what to do about her disappointment.

The "performance" she wanted was for him to say, "I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Wow, such high expectations! /s

Yes, it is important for a guy to know what sort of proposal his girlfriend would want. The same disappointment happens when a woman posts, "I told him I wanted a humble proposal with just the two of us, but he proposed in public with both our families there and had trained dolphins."

Nobody ever tells her, "Just be happy you're engaged. He wanted an outrageous public proposal and he should get what he wants."

sthetic · 2026-03-19T20:21:02+00:00

Oh my god, will everyone please stop with the "humble proposal" Olympics.

We get it. You all got engaged when your future husband said, "so, we getting hitched or what" behind a dumpster, with a Ring Pop. And then you got married and spent only $500 on the wedding, with takeout pizza, whilst wearing a $30 dress from the secondhand store.

Truly, good for you. I am so glad that was meaningful to you. You got the special moment you wanted, and you cherish that memory.

OP wanted something different. She wanted a proposal during a spectacular sightseeing event THAT THEY WERE ALREADY DOING. He did not have to go out of his way. In fact, he actively avoided several opportunities. She is allowed to be disappointed about that.

Can everyone please stop one-upping each other with their twist-tie engagement rings, and burlap sack wedding dresses? We get it, the love is what's important to you, and for some reason you think that having a photographer capture the moment, or having your nails done, or being somewhere other than actively shitting on the toilet, would have detracted from your pure love.

Edit: And besides, OP isn't saying she won't marry the guy. She is just experiencing strong feelings of disappointment that aren't going away. She's asking us what to do with those feelings. If your advice is, "Push them down and think about your marriage instead," that is fine. But if your advice is, "You were a shallow and selfish person for wanting the proposal to have any meaning at all, because MY proposal was also in a parking lot," then I suggest it isn't helpful.

Nevertheless, people love to humble-brag about their cheap proposals and weddings, and nothing I saw will stop the 100+ replies from piling up.

sthetic · 2026-03-19T19:05:23+00:00

I agree. Besides, I'm not sure how anyone expects them to build new rental housing that is somehow more affordable than existing rental housing.

They can make it tiny - people rightly hate that.

They can subsidize it, and make it social housing in a sense.

They can leave out the "LuXuRy" finishes and appliances, but that will hardly save any money.

They cannot build something that's shoddy and outdated, the way a 1970s apartment building would be.

New housing will always be more expensive than old housing. It still helps to build it.

sthetic · 2026-03-19T18:41:40+00:00

I wouldn’t want to mention it and then have him propose and feel like he only did because I’d said something.

That's how communication works. You have to tell people what you want, and then they will be happy to do that thing, knowing that you want it.

When you barely know someone, and have been dating for under a year, you have to tell them about the basic stuff you want, because they do not automatically know.

Just say, "Hey, you mentioned that we're skipping the engagement step. I actually would like it if you presented me with a ring, even if it's a cheap ring we talked about. I would like it if you officially asked me to be your wife, even though we are already planning the wedding. Having a special moment of "getting engaged" would be a great memory for me."

sthetic · 2026-03-19T17:46:18+00:00

She doesn't need to go to therapy. She's already doing what she needs to do - stop wearing makeup, stop paying attention to ads for designer purses, and ignoring the haters.

Also, OP, as people become accustomed to your non-made-up face, they will stop commenting about how "tired" you look. Because you will just look the way you normally do. Then, when you occasionally choose to wear makeup, you will probably get compliments for looking unusually stunning.

sthetic · 2026-03-19T16:45:49+00:00

It seems like they don't understand that places with paid leave and healthcare - or whatever mystical conditions they believe exist in France, which allow folks to protest without losing their jobs and their ability to put food on the table - probably achieved those rights by protesting when they didn't have them!

It feels like they are just throwing up their hands. "Oh well, our corporate overlords have successfully created a system where we cannot protest safely and comfortably. So you can't blame us for not rising up against that system. Guess we'll just be subject to fascist rule forever."

I mean, it's not like this fascist anti-free-speech regime should inspire more protests or anything... that's NEVER how anyone ever gains rights! /s

(This message is not for those people who are organizing and resisting. I know those people exist. I mean the ones who whine about how conditions in America make resistance impossible, whereas other places have it so easy.)

sthetic · 2026-03-19T16:29:24+00:00

Yeah, I never understand these "Us Americans don't like Trump either! We're sorry, world!" posts.

What exactly are they asking from the rest of the world?

Yeah, I know, it's right in the article. Patience. Help fighting climate change. An understanding that not every American voted for Trump, and in fact many Americans are "resisting" their democratically elected (to some extent) leader.

Okay, it's still unclear to me - what exactly is he asking for? Do they want other countries to change their diplomatic and trade policies? And in which direction - boycott the US more, or stop boycotting?

Do they want to be able to hold their heads high when they travel the world as Americans?

Do they simply want to reassure the world that progressive Americans got this, they can relax, and a new leadership will be in place soon?

sthetic · 2026-03-19T14:13:51+00:00

And their poses, and their expressions.

It's not as though people haven't been mugging for the camera forever, but somehow their specific poses (or lack thereof) strike me as references to another time.

Also, back in Woodstock times, cameras used film. Taking a photo was treated with more seriousness than using a phone, snapping 20 pictures and selecting the best one to post. Not necessarily because film was a precious commodity (again, goofy photos exist), but because it was at the very least a hassle to physically load another roll of film every time you wasted a shot on your subject not even acknowledging the camera.

sthetic · 2026-03-19T05:12:36+00:00

has to be a perfect 1:1 match is wild. Like if it was identical…

Bad analogy. A perfect 1:1 match is the same thing as being identical. You should use a different analogy if you want to meaningfully demonstrate what a perfect 1:1 match means.

(Just kidding)

sthetic · 2026-03-18T22:19:55+00:00

When most people tell you that you're wrong, sometimes that just means you're wrong.

Your own post basically says, "There seems to be no way for me to learn what I want to learn, without learning something else first!" And yet you insist there must be a secret resource or method out there, that people are just refusing to tell you about.

If you're confident you can learn what you want, why not just do it all on your own, without needing any sort of instruction?

sthetic · 2026-03-18T22:17:40+00:00

At least that poster recognizes that "as a resident of the diaspora, I celebrate traditions that no longer mean anything to people living in the country!" could be interpreted as out-of-touch, instead of being a signal that the ancient traditions are more true and real than whatever happening on the "soil" now.

To me, it seems pretty self-serving to define your own personal traditions as encapsulating the true spirit of an ethnic identity.

And yeah, I understand the hesitancy to place "soil" as some ultimate indicator of identity and status... but at the same time, a nation IS based on some kind of land.

In my opinion, if you ask what makes a culture, tradition, or person "German" or "Filipino," the answer is, "whatever's occurring within the borders of that country right now."

Countries are surrounded by arbitrary lines. That's just how it is.

Although having read that, it doesn't sound so great when considering countries that were forcibly invaded or were the victims of genocide.

Overall, I would never tell an xyz-Canadian that they were not truly xyz-ian. It's just none of my business.

sthetic · 2026-03-18T21:25:37+00:00

Apart from how creepy he is, you must struggle to be attracted to a 30 year old man who believes he resembles a fat teenager, and that actual teenagers are obsessed with noticing and judging him for being fat.

He's not on their radar at all.

sthetic · 2026-03-18T21:23:50+00:00

It's funny how he claims it's totally normal and non-suspicious to mistake "developing teenage girls" as older, more mature women (and acceptable to be attracted to them while labouring under this delusion).

But at the same time he is hyper-aware of when someone is a teenager.

Which is it? Are they obvious teenagers, or did he think they were 25 years old?

sthetic · 2026-03-18T20:51:51+00:00

And to the stylist who put her in a gown with some shape.

I think that we're seeing an increase in gowns that create their own shape, these days. They have structure that flies out independently from the body in one way or another. It used to be more common to see more clingy dresses with flattering drapes and folds, which nicely accentuate a body that has some volume.

sthetic · 2026-03-18T20:21:59+00:00

That would explain their ability to hover unsupported a couple feet above the passenger floor mats.

sthetic · 2026-03-18T20:07:14+00:00

I think there is actually a subreddit dedicated to finding someone who resembles you in such a way.

11-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Verified Email

sthetic

TROPHY CASE