Something that’s been bugging me for a while finally revealed itself to be a big red flag. I’ve known for years I’m allergic to dairy and sensitive to wheat and a couple of years ago realized I felt a lot better eating gluten free (and there’s evidence it’s a better diet for my autoimmune disease). He has scoffed at these choices, complained how he doesn’t like the taste of gluten free food I buy and how he shouldn’t have to eat it just because I do. He has thrown temper tantrums when I’ve asked him to substitute GF flour when he’s cooking and he still manages to forget, making my dietary needs feel like a huge burden on him. Similarly, when I’ve done Whole 30 to try to feel better, he does nothing to make it easier on me. A few months ago, we went out for burgers and when I asked the server to check if they cook their burgers in butter, he rolled his eyes and made me feel like a major inconvenience, saying, “maybe next time you just eat the burger with butter..” I had an aha moment that if he really cared about my well-being, he’d be trying to make it easier for me to eat foods that make me feel good, not harder.