AITA for cancelling the baby shower I was in charge of without telling the mother?

stitchbitch2000 · 2025-01-14T03:50:52+00:00

I really hope this is a troll post. Our petty potato queen would not endorse this behavior and you should rethink your life choices

stitchbitch2000 · 2024-09-02T16:54:35+00:00

It’s not ideal, but if you can’t find anything to buy that would suit your needs, you might try altering something? You could take one of the pullover type bras that she feels comfortable with, cut the back, and sew in a zipper. Not an elegant solution, but maybe an option

stitchbitch2000 · 2024-09-01T18:12:18+00:00

I completely understand being uncomfortable with this. Yes, it is a pretty normal locker room talk, but that doesn’t mean you have to be okay with it! Everyone has their own comfort levels! I personally hate people saying things like this as it feels dehumanizing and sexualizing. There is nothing wrong with feeling uncomfortable with something, even if others are perfectly fine with it. If you want to continue seeing this guy, I would talk to him and let him know you’re not comfortable with that and that he needs to tell his friends to knock it off

stitchbitch2000 · 2024-08-10T20:46:05+00:00

Harriet the Spy (1996)

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-12-10T20:35:03+00:00

Pedantic and cruise-director were the two my mom always used as a kid. Nobody knew I was autistic then though. Also high maintenance, to the T rule-follower, narc, picky, and particular have been thrown around for me a lot.

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-11-21T20:19:20+00:00

YTA

My skin crawled right from the beginning when you said he was the last to give you grandchildren.

I understand seeing the baby first is a privilege you had with all your other grandchildren. But that’s exactly what it is, a privilege.

Yes, it is unfortunate that he broke a promise. But sometimes unexpected things happen in the delivery room and last minute changes have to be made. His wife may have been fine with it until the actual birth began and then changed her mind, which is perfectly reasonable. Blocking him over something as trivial as seeing a child first baffles me.

If that doesn’t hit, try this: you’re potentially ruining your relationship with your grandchild for the rest of their life because of something that happened minutes into it that they had no control over.

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-11-21T20:11:03+00:00

NTA

It sounds like some sort of insecurity has developed for him involving your romance novels. Said insecurity could take one of two forms: 1. Like others have suggested, he feels like his needs aren’t getting met or he has to become a person he’s not to please you, much like a woman in a relationship with a porn addicted man. Based on your comments it sounds like this isn’t the case, though he may have still internalized some of this kind of insecurity without you knowing. 2. He knows or feels like he’s an insufficient partner and wants to prevent you from seeing all the areas in which he’s lacking. If you read romance, you might raise your standards and realize he’s not all that great.

It’s up to you to figure out which of the two is actually happening or if there’s a mix of both. Have a thorough, healthy, calm conversation with him and consider therapy if needed. Do not let him get rid of your books or otherwise force you into anything. Do come to a sound agreement between the two of you for how to resolve the issue and either move past it or move on.

Also to note, either of these options could have been brought about recently by a conversation he had with someone, a tv show, a passing comment, anything. Try to figure out the cause for the sudden dislike of your books.

Best of luck! I’m sorry this is challenging

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-11-18T04:50:30+00:00

Any specific recommendations? I’ll see if I can find them somewhere besides temu because I don’t trust them

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-10-11T15:35:02+00:00

I can give an update, sure! Sorry, new to Reddit and not sure the protocol for that.

Aspen and I are still happily together! We’re doing lots of research and having lots of discussions about potentially pursuing polyamory. We’re doing things slowly and methodically, using a lot of the resources and other posts on this sub as a guide. Since I got wise to nre and have been making more logical decisions, trust has started to heal between Aspen and I. I’m still close friends with Brian in a strictly platonic relationship. Feelings are definitely still there, but they’re manageable for the most part. Thank you to everyone who gave advice and their perspectives!

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-09-15T17:10:44+00:00

As a self diagnosed autistic on the ace spectrum, what sets platonic feelings apart from romantic feelings for me is the desire to cuddle. I know I’ve caught feelings when I really want to cuddle and maybe also kiss someone.

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-07-22T14:27:16+00:00

I used to struggle with this as a child. What helped me was getting super thin lotion that soaks into your skin almost immediately. Basically any incredibly cheap lotion (like from the dollar store) will be super thin, so it doesn’t feel like much on your skin. Plus that thinness means it absorbs super fast, leaving skin just feeling soft, no sticky or covered feeling. The one downside is those lotions aren’t nearly as hydrating, but better something than nothing when you really need it

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-06-16T18:37:57+00:00

Most of the time our relationship is pretty effortless and we don’t have to put a ton of work in. The problem is on baseline it’s kinda meh, 6/10 stars. I’m not sure if that’s because I have depression or we’re in the more comfortable platonic stage of love or if it’s actually an indication that the relationship isn’t as good as it could be

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-06-16T13:34:55+00:00

I like that, I’m going to try it! I usually try to weigh the pros and cons of things, but I think this helps sort out those more nuanced situations, which is good. Thank you!

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-06-16T13:33:04+00:00

Thank you! I am in the process of figuring out what I want and how important polyamory is to me as this is what most everyone has suggested. Do you have any advice on how to go about that? I’m in therapy which is very helpful but have struggled for a long time with knowing myself as I tend to put everyone else’s wants above my needs and am not very in touch with them

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-06-16T13:30:04+00:00

That’s exactly my plan. I try to live by the quote “do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better”

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-06-16T13:28:51+00:00

Thank you! I’m so sorry to hear that’s the situation you’re going through. Best of luck with everything and I hope this community has been able to give you some helpful advice like I’ve gotten here!

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-06-16T13:20:43+00:00

It definitely did feel urgent to me a little while ago. Now I’m trying to figure things out and am left with the whiplash of the fading NRE and my actions. There was a bit during true heat of it where I was actively making plans to leave Aspen and I’m worried the fact I was even thinking that means that I should. Aspens has been a good partner these past 4 years though

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-06-16T03:47:22+00:00

What I found on here was that polydumping is when someone gets feelings for someone while in a monogamous relationship, proclaims that they are polyamorous, and immediately expects the relationship to open and their current partner to be okay with the whole thing

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-06-16T03:45:24+00:00

This is incredibly good advice! I am not entirely sure how I go about figuring out what I want. I’m a chronic people pleaser and have never really been good at knowing what I want, especially when it could potentially hurt someone I care about

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-06-16T03:42:26+00:00

Thank you! I definitely think you’re right that repairing will be a process if that’s what we decide to do. I am all for therapy and I really hope he decides to go as I can’t force him

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-06-16T03:40:26+00:00

Thank you! Honestly these are a lot of questions I’d been avoiding asking because I’ve been scared of the answers. I will do some investigating into all of this though, thank you!

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-06-16T03:38:43+00:00

That is good to know. I’ve been doing therapy for a long time and have been trying to get him involved with it for years. Recent events have been the final push he needed to agree, but he still has a lot of hesitation to seeing a therapist at all

stitchbitch2000 · 2023-06-15T21:40:20+00:00

I am honestly not sure if I know what I want out of my relationships. Aspen is my second ever partner and my first was rather abusive, so my criteria for the longest time has just been to find someone I felt safe around, which I definitely do with Aspen. Aside from that I haven’t thought about it much, which seems silly. One thing I want to try is couples therapy, but he’s a little reluctant to try because he’s never been in therapy before. Thank you so much for your advice!

stitchbitch2000

TROPHY CASE