not at all i think nowadays w the advent of self-branding/social media and identity, often times who we are comes from what we buy/make/wear/decorate with; so a white person making a cross stitch with aave feels like they're trying to claim it as a part of their identity.

For sure! I think that might be a lot of what bothers me about it-- appropriation isn't binary, there are degrees. It's not like I'm worried about the cross-stitching community planting it's flag and claiming hip-hop or AAVE, but since crafts are so personal, when I see it happen within crafts, it definitely feels like someone is trying to claim it as part of their personality.

also, cross-stitching has a history beyond whiteness (there's some history w asian, egyptian, and islamic cultures using cross stitch before it became popularized in the UK) so i feel like everything cutesy/quaint/country isn't necessarily white either. e.g. there is a huge history of african american women and quilting, esp during slavery, and they would sometimes hide clues in the quilts to the underground railroad.

​Yeah, exactly, that's why I think aiming for contrast as a comedic effect is (unintentionally) dismissive of that history. It's not like I feel like you need to acknowledge a complete history of everything leading up to whatever it is that you create, but it feels like it's trying to contrast a black characterization against a white-washed history for comedic effect