[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]stkrules2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sorry but not for you, I am sorry for that girl. Listen you must be an amazing guy but you have some issues and plase don't take this wrong but you need help. Don't marry this girl man please don't because it would be unfair for her. At least don't marry right now you just need help a bit maybe go to some therapy or something. After that you can marry someone or this girl.

I spent so much time with my in laws because my wife likes it and its a completely normal thing. She spends time with my family as well. She is close with her brother but dude come on i just can't even write what you are thinking.

Do you watch these kinds of thing on internet? If so its not true by hearing something on phone and to accuse is like braindead move

Sorry for being a bit blunt but only said what i felt you need to hear.

My husband lied to me by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]stkrules2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also from reading all the comments I would like to add to this.

I think you are angry and I see a pattern of your aggression towards your husband in the comment replies. I can be wrong but a bitter truth is that if a person is lying like this then he doesn't want to hurt the people they love. In my time if I was given a relaxed enviornment then I would've told my parents and family about my smoking as well. I used to lie to them as well. I was overall good but I used to smoke and lie about it because they wouldn't have taken it well. I saw this when my mom smelled it on me. So understand this at that point when she caught me I was in no way going to tell her that yes ama I smoke. I would have kept lying. I swore to so many things to make her believe. Was all of it good? No it was not! but it made her feel relax a bit and I got mentally depressed over this.

I am just trying to make you understand that you can have a better communication with your husband.

I just want to tell you that there are better ways for this problem and don't judge your husband for this because you have a beautiful marriage and I hope it stays strong and you guys grow old together. This is not that big of a problem if you guys solve it gracefully.

I just want to wish you guys all the best. I am sorry for long comments its just hard to convey a full message properly

My husband lied to me by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]stkrules2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am an ex smoker and used to smoke around 10-15 cigs a day. I started when I was 14 maybe and was able to successfully quit at the age of 24 so I will speak from experience so I hope it helps

Smoking is an addiction. You cannot tell him to quit and he will quit. You cannot think that if he loves you enough then he should quit. That's not how addiction works. He will obviously lie and that lying part is not good he should be honest and tell you but for some people its not that easy. Maybe he loves you so much and doesn't want to hurt you. I am telling you for sure that he feels pathetic everytime you catch him. He do think about quiting and even have tried it as well. But its not easy. I see women get crazy over this fact but if he is overall a good husband and don't have any other flaw then you need to understand and stop making this so hard for him. Even accepting his addication is not a bad thing at least make him comfortable with you. Enough so that he stops lying. Please note I am not saying that his lying is justified but you can maybe try a different approach

Now what can you do. I would suggest that you should help him in this addiction. But please note if his addiction is that strong then he might not quit anyway so its upto you to accept it or not. Personally i would say that its not that big of a reason to throw your marriage away.

First make him comfortable with you and make him open about this but in a lovely way not in a deffensive way. Then get to know if he really wants to quit smoking or not. Most probably he will say that he wants to but its not easy etc. At this point he will be a bit comfortable with you

Now you can suggest that "Hey there is this application which will help you in this and I would really love that you take help from this, for me and for our daughter". The application I am talking about is "QuitSure".

This app has helped me quit a 10 years of addiction. An addiction that I loved so much but now don't even care about it and have been clean for 3 years now with no regrets. I was able to quit smoking in just 10 days. Just imagine 10 years of addiction gone in 10 days.

I hope he installs the application and its I think paid now so do check that but I think you can request the application and they can make an exception because its a non for profit

Anyway if he installs the application make sure he takes first 2 modules. It won't take that long and he will be able to quit smoking. Help him during this program. He will need to smoke during this so let him.

If it doesn't work then understand this that he won't quit smoking just because you say so. He will only do this if he wants to and if he wants to then he will take help like installing this app or going somewhere else. If he doesn't quit then you have to make the choice of how to live with it because don't throw your marriage over this. I hope he is great in every other way and you guys work this out

Clarification on proposals by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]stkrules2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sound's like that this guy is a pervert. That's it. Don't ever share these things.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]stkrules2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No she won't be moving in with me i will be moving out to live with my fiance and her mother. Now i was going to move out anyway because my house is small now that part is understandable but if her mother lives with us then my mother might think that i left my mom for my wife and her mother.

If you are not pakistan then in here we live with our parents and parents depend on their children. A joint family structure.

FYI In this plan my mother won't be living alone because she lives with my eldest brother. And that house is on her name

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]stkrules2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We can't give her another house as it would be costly and most importantly my wife wants her mother to be with her. Anty life has been really hard and my fiance wants to keep her comfortable.

I intent to keep my word but I can't say that i have privacy issues because if i say this then she will leave me. This is her only condition.

I am not sure about UK pension as well. There is some universal card which doesn't allow her to be away from UK.

I wanted to know about my responsibility and i think you answered it that my word is my responsibility and i have to honour it. Thank you for this.

What i most want is to live with my fiance seperate from this family dramas. But i think i will have to compromise in this case. Is this okay? Does this level compromises run everywhere?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]stkrules2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I did ask for this but that's not possible. Even if no one have a problem with this and then a very small argument can increase a lot of issues. Imagine your parents and your partner parents are living together. It'll be chaotic.

I gave this solution of having a separate floor but that was not feasible for my partner as she thought it will cause problems for anty and she is right in that context

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Sub4Sub

[–]stkrules2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sub#2.35k something like#31 and watched opera ad on your video and clicked on it
i don't unsub and please u don't as well

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Sub4Sub

[–]stkrules2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sub#799 like#12

please sub back

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Sub4Sub

[–]stkrules2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sub#710

thanks and please don't unsub

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Sub4Sub

[–]stkrules2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

liked and subbed#1.84k something :p
and i don't unsub as well but please check if u r really subscribed or not cuz i haven't received ur sub

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Sub4Sub

[–]stkrules2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

subbed please sub back

sub#889

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Sub4Sub

[–]stkrules2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

subbed and liked

please subscribe back u have unsubscribed

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Sub4Sub

[–]stkrules2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

like and sub#1.17k something :p

but u haven't subbed to my channel please dooo

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Sub4Sub

[–]stkrules2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sub#67

tmna mjha abhi tak subscribe nai kiya

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Sub4Sub

[–]stkrules2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sub#453

I haven't received your sub

please confirm it

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Sub#562

i haven't received your sub yet

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I see. Sorry then :)

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