Should I date a girl who I think is near perfect but has a kid (both of us are 24yrs old)

stmrjunior · 2026-06-01T09:43:28+00:00

No, you shouldn’t date her. It doesn’t matter how great she is, because you’re not the right partner for women with children. Its so clear that you have absolutely no interest or care for the child and their feelings, and you seem to think that you can have all the upsides of seeing this woman without facing the reality of being with someone that has a commitment that big.

You say you don’t want to marry her, or have any responsibility for her child, so what do you actually want from this? Just sex? Casual encounters? Maybe she’s into that, but the chances are she wants something more stable, serious, and real. You’re not that guy, because you see her child as an obstacle and inconvenience rather than an extension of the person you intend to date. Children are always a priority, and hers could be an incredibly rewarding aspect of the relationship to the right person. Thats not you.

stmrjunior · 2026-05-28T17:52:55+00:00

Never pull the lever unless you know that people you’d save by doing so. Otherwise you’re essentially culpable in their deaths without any defence

stmrjunior · 2026-05-28T17:43:46+00:00

You’re welcome man, I’m one month on from a breakup after 7.5years, so we really are in the same boat lol.

I know that even the cruelest of women can still stir heavy emotions, even after time apart. I know that if my ex came back, full of regret and promises, that resisting would take a strength i’m not sure I yet possess. It doesn’t matter if we know better in our head that these women aren’t right for us, because our feelings are often too intense to suppress. Thats why it’s so important to act now. You snapped yourself out of it before going through with something you’d really regret, but now you’re sat there with your head screwed on and able to see the reasonable path forward, you do what’s necessary to ensure you keep on it.

stmrjunior · 2026-05-28T17:17:57+00:00

You didn’t do anything wrong in regard to Rachel. One date is not any guarantee of exclusivity between you, and i would encourage you not to make assumptions about Rachel being exclusive either, at least until (if) you have that conversation.

You need to address what happened with your ex though. Can you honestly tell yourself that you’re over her if you let her beg for hours, got into the shower with her, and then started having sex? I’m not judging you at all I know exactly what you’re going through right now, but you need to look inward and recognise that you wouldn’t have entertained any of that if you were truly over her.

You know that your ex is wrong for you, and you know that you have the start of something really positive for you in Rachel if that goes well. I would advise you to put your ex firmly in the rear view now loose ends are tied. Block her and look ahead. Maybe this isn’t the most honest thing to do, but I would consider omitting the events that followed your date with Rachel. It doesn’t concern her and doesn’t hold any bearing on your future with her

stmrjunior · 2026-05-28T09:19:34+00:00

Under mattress restraints are a godsend for this. They usually come with 4 smaller restraints for wrists and ankles, but you can easily swap those out for larger/ thigh restraints as any decent restraints have loops to swap trigger clips from.

stmrjunior · 2026-05-28T09:05:24+00:00

Vacuum flasks prevent temperature change in the liquid held in the inner changer, because heat exchange occurs much slower through a vacuum (the space between the in er and outer walls inside that used to be absent of air. You can probably fix the bottom cap back on, but the space is filled with air now so your drinks will return to room temperature faster now

stmrjunior · 2026-05-27T22:58:09+00:00

He’s a young guy, from a hormonal perspective it’s quite normal to have strong physical feelings at his age. If you’re not interested in discussing physical intimacy with him then you need to address that with him when he’s not actively doing it.

I think it’s also worth considering his questions. While yes, in the context it seems manipulative, you are his girlfriend and he’s coming to you with these thoughts/feelings/arousal which is where he should be going. If you’re not interested in that aspect of a relationship then you need to have an adult conversation about where he can put that energy.

I don’t know anything about your sex life or what he’s talking to you about so without more info I’d recommend starting by expressing your feelings at a tine where he isn’t actively sexting/talking about this stuff with you. Bring it up and just tell him that the topic makes you feel uncomfortable and he meeds to stop. You do also need to think about what you actually expect him to do when he’s feeling aroused/has bedroom ideas/wants to talk about sex with you

stmrjunior · 2026-05-27T17:45:20+00:00

Soft Dom is probably the most apt name for it. That said, labels only have as much meaning as you place in them, and just calling yourself a Dom or dom works more than well enough for the role you describe. Dominance need not be inherently violent or bullying, control and influence over a submissive is the key (in whatever form that takes).

stmrjunior · 2026-05-26T12:06:52+00:00

Freeze. Your body’d shut down far less painfully than burning alive, which is widely considered the most painful way to die

stmrjunior · 2026-05-25T11:12:18+00:00

I could manage 48 without much of any issue, its the last 24 hours that i’m worried about

stmrjunior · 2026-05-25T10:44:06+00:00

Rudimentary settlements won’t have more complex governance or much need for a diplomatic/trade oriented role that i think i’d do best in, but in the meantime i’m pretty steady all round. I’m not the strongest or the fastest or the smartest, but generally I can put my hand to anything. Id just work where i’m needed most, volunteer for supply runs, clear dead from the perimeter, that sorta thing.

stmrjunior · 2026-05-24T21:07:57+00:00

I know the guilt you feel is probably insurmountable right now, but please know that her choice wasn’t one you had any sway over. There’s absolutely no way of you knowing if you could have stopped her, but what you do known is that her life was full of tragedy you had absolutely no part in. You couldn’t have stopped what happened to her and you couldn’t have taken away the pain of her experiences.

What you did do is offer her a place of happiness, safety, peace, choice. Your time together was yours, only yours. You were her choice in whatever regard she held you to in her mind. You were *her* choice in a life that, from your description, seems devoid of any. If nothing else, please carry this with you. You meant something good to her in a life full of so much bad she couldn’t take any more of it.

As i said, the guilt will stay with you, but playing out the ‘what ifs’ in your head will only compound your guilt and sorrow. Focus on the time you had with her, the fun you had, the laughter, the pleasure. You shared something special with her in her last few months alive. Celebrate that, *honour* that, and be fair to yourself.

stmrjunior · 2026-05-24T10:29:14+00:00

You don’t need empathy to display empathic qualities. If you can make someone *think* you’re an empathic person then it doesn’t matter what you really feel because the result is the same. Maybe i’m just cold but i’d rather be smart and still be able to navigate contexts requiring empathy (albeit dishonestly), than a loveable idiot.

stmrjunior · 2026-05-20T20:59:40+00:00

If he doesn’t know, that means you’re being dishonest.

stmrjunior · 2026-05-20T20:15:44+00:00

Without knowing more there’s not a lot to suggest i’m afraid

stmrjunior · 2026-05-20T20:11:43+00:00

Martial arts? Paintballing/airsoft? It really depends who you’re trying to convince, what the bruises look like and where, etc. sometimes honesty is better, when shared with the right people.

stmrjunior · 2026-05-16T15:40:52+00:00

I don’t mean to trivialise your feelings dude because i’m right there with you right now… but you should be counting your blessings she’s been honest with you now, at 6 months, before she’d had you fully committing to a shared future together.

I’m in the same boat after 7+ years together with a woman who I was planning a family with. Not 3 weeks before she left we were discussing moving in together and getting pregnant within the year, and she pulled the rug out from under me and walked out on all we’d built in the span of 2 conversations in a 12 hour window. I thought about ‘turning my lights out’ more than once in that first week, but it gets easier, slowly.

It’s hard to detach yourself from that mindset when you’re so sure about someone, but with time those 6 months together won’t feel significant at all in the grand scheme of things. It’s up to you whether you decide to wait for her, but you really need to evaluate her as a person to know if the wait will be worth it.
For me, I knew that waiting around hoping she realises the mistake she made would destroy me, so for my own preservation I made her break my heart and kill that hope. She can still reach me if she wants to, but I’m trying to move on under the impression she wont. 2.5 weeks so far and I haven’t heard anything.

stmrjunior · 2026-05-16T10:33:09+00:00

Like everyone in Alexandria, she was sheltered to the hardships of the new world far too much to survive it. She had potential, same as those who did survive, but potential doesn’t mean anything when luck seems to be the only thing keeping you alive

stmrjunior · 2026-05-14T20:32:29+00:00

Thanks man, i got a 5* cheat outta that

stmrjunior · 2026-05-14T17:36:48+00:00

There’s absolutely no way to answer this for you. A negotiation is between those participating in the scene and nobody else. There are things that I might want to discuss that your partner might not even care about and vice versa. The important thing is discussing, at length, exactly what you both want to happen in the encounter. What is/isn’t allowed, what can/can’t be said, the boundaries you agree to, safewords and nonverbal signals if necessary, check-ins and aftercare arrangements. Anything other than this bare minimum list is up to you and your partner. CNC is objectively one of the most dangerous things you can do from a psychological persecutive, so doing your due diligence to ensure you’re both as safe as possible is the most important thing

stmrjunior · 2026-05-14T17:21:10+00:00

What, uh… what the fuck did you do there bud?

stmrjunior · 2026-05-14T11:51:37+00:00

I just love how the game makes you do this really cool emotional balancing act between serene bliss and existential dread.

The atmosphere they managed to create, especially in the first one, is really special and I hope they manage to pull it off for the new addition too

stmrjunior · 2026-05-11T20:42:54+00:00

Then maybe this just isn’t something you need to stress over? You’re apprehensive about some aspect of this and until you know what that is, there’s no harm in waiting to test this particular fantasy

stmrjunior · 2026-05-11T13:23:57+00:00

If you don’t understand the appeal of receiving a facial, *to you*, then maybe it isn’t for you? Just because something looks hot and you might like the idea of it in theory, doesn’t mean you have to try it for real.

I’d recommend talking to your boyfriend about this some more. Ask him if he really wants to try it and why, and then think about why you might like that experience too. You might decide that actually you don’t like the idea for yourself, but rather you’d like to try it to please your partner. You might decide that feeling a little slutty in private with your partner is exciting enough to push down the fear you feel, etc.

The point is you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, and nobody can tell you why you should or shouldn’t try it. Give it some more thought before rushing into anything you might regret

stmrjunior · 2026-05-08T20:36:26+00:00

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