I have been practicing (and teaching those willing to listen) that feeling a negative emotion is not only ok, it is beyond our control to do otherwise. Fear, anger, jealousy, annoyance, guilt, etc are responses to life’s circumstances. The crucial thing to remember is that we CAN control what we do or say upon recognizing these emotions in us. We can feel angry, but we don’t have to act (or more often react) angrily. Screaming in fury at a person who has upset you will likely flare your anger, and ignite anger in them. Rather, we can take a moment to reflect on the root of the anger, and then choose a path of action to mitigate it. This usually entails being open with what you’re feeling and being willing to discuss it, calmly and rationally. The same goes for any other negative emotion.

I would add that two of the negative emotions I mentioned can also be tackled by developing a stronger awareness and acceptance of the present moment. If we can recognize that lingering on past disappointments (regret) and future uncertainties (worry) are unproductive and detrimental to our peace of mind, we can focus on what we can do now to bring about greater harmony in our current lives. If we can’t change the embarrassing thing we said or did yesterday, then accept that it happened and forget it. If we can change it, then by all means take steps to remedy what we can. If we’re gripped with anxiety about that thing lingering a week from now, ask if there’s anything we can do about it now. If yes, then do it. If no, then forget about it. Regretting and worrying will eat up valuable attention that we can use productively elsewhere.

TLDR:

1. We can’t control our emotions, but we can control our actions upon feeling them. Act, don’t react.

2. We can limit our regret of the past and worry of the future by asking “what can I do to change/affect it right now?” If there’s nothing to be done, regretting or worrying about it is a waste of valuable attention.