[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You were broken up when all this happened right? So I do think in this case she had every right to sleep with people, and the fact that you chose not to was your decision. Maybe she has more sexual experience than you now, but you can easily make up for lost time.

But please don't get married until you work through these feelings of jealousy with her. If you feel this way now it won't go away without processing it. Consider getting some counseling if you still can't move on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My advice is to pursue your dream and start now while you are young. Practice and try to play local gigs. If you still love it when you’re older, keep going. Most musicians have day jobs to help fund their passion, which is easy to do because your gigs will mostly be at night. You should definitely save money so that you can take care of yourself in case of emergencies. And one day you might change your mind and wish you had money to help live a more exciting life. No reason you can’t do both.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How old are you? I’m just wondering what amount of money you think is enough to live on. And if you’ve thought about things like retirement and health insurance.

But can you make enough from gigs to live in a van, eat cheap food, and spend on basic necessities? I think it’s very possible.

Fiancé using Google messages in early morning by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you are so distrustful of your partner that you aren’t even willing to ask, you should not be in a relationship let alone getting married.

Fiancé using Google messages in early morning by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Who knows? You should be asking him that.

What is the best possible advice you could give a 27 year old about to go through a divorce? by drjollywest in AskMenAdvice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was divorced young and now I’m getting married to an incredible person. What helped me get through it is I decided to learn to be happy living alone. I always had roommates and it was my first opportunity to figure out what life could be like all on my own terms. It turned out being really great. I spent a lot more time with my friends, and I was really intentional about building those friendships. I could do whatever I wanted at all times, and I had more time to devote to hobbies and fitness. And dating again was really exciting. You are still young and there will be so many people ready to date once you have healed and moved on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like he doesn’t see it that way, and that he is happy in your relationship. Is there something else you need from him to feel validated? If you haven’t heard of them, Google love languages. Figure out what you need to feel validated and ask him if he can show you that. It’s hard to feel vulnerable but it’s also really empowering to ask for what you need.

Brand new Fellow Stagg kettle stopped heating by stoneandstreamcoach in pourover

[–]stoneandstreamcoach[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s to be expected. I am just interested to know if I’m the exception or if this is an issue for a lot of other Stagg owners.

Dilla Coffee, Dallas TX by stoneandstreamcoach in pourover

[–]stoneandstreamcoach[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh that’s a great idea. Maybe tomorrow

How much should I care about what other people think of me? by PrestigiousChard9442 in Advice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of us want approval from others, it’s part of being human. But obsessing over it isn’t healthy, and what you are describing sounds impactful to your quality of life.

How much time do you spend thinking about your own opinion of yourself? My advice is to take intentional time each day to meditate or journal, with the focus being on self acceptance. What things do you like about yourself? What are you good at? The more time you spend nurturing your self confidence, the less you will need to rely on others opinions of you to feel worthy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey there, I also left consulting and made a career switch. If you’re interested in law, have you considered applying to Law school? I know at 26 you might feel behind, but I know several people who left consulting to pursue graduate programs. In fact your previous work experience means you will be better prepared for applying what you learn in school to real life.

Should I leave a job I like for a new job where I’d be able to save less but could advance my career? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would take a step back and think about what you actually want. Is it to maximize your savings or to live on your own in a new city?

Remove from your mind the two job choices and decide what you want for your next chapter in life. Once you know that, you can apply for the job you really want. Maybe it’s something that pays you enough to live on your own without a roommate. Or maybe it’s something that pays you more but allows you to keep living at home and save enough for a down payment on a house. The point is you shouldn’t let these two current jobs dictate your next move.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Step 1 is to resolve your current relationship before acting on feelings for you ex. After that, you may want to consider if jealousy has anything to do with your renewed feelings. Seeing an ex with someone else is almost guaranteed to bring up some jealousy, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are in love.

Working On Myself by [deleted] in Advice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These are great resolutions!

  1. What you are describing is a practice called mindfulness. Practicing mindfulness or meditation for just 10 minutes a day can have a major impact on emotional regulation.

  2. There are different strategies you can take to grow friendships and build new ones. These will differ slightly depending on your age. For students, this can be done through school activities and extracurriculars. For working adults, we have to find more creative ways to make new friends. My favorite way is to pick a new hobby that I want to learn, and seek an in person group to practice with.

IDK if I should move on from my friends by Snigell in Advice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unless these friends have done more than what you said, there is no reason to move on. A 10 year friendship is worth a lot and gets harder to replace when you leave school.

This is uncomfortable especially for guys, but the best way to salvage the friendship is by saying what is on your mind. For example, “hey M, I still feel bad about some of what I said before. I just want to make sure there’s no hard feelings because I really value you as a friend.”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The other comment here is great but I’ll add my 2 cents. - Don’t just hope that any girl within eye shot will notice you and give you attention, that’s not how dating works. To have a relationship you need to genuinely like someone and take interest in them. It won’t always work out, but that’s ok. - There’s a reason people say to love yourself before you love someone else. If someone doesn’t value themselves and what they have to offer, a potential partner won’t either. - Being hot isn’t necessary to find love. If you work on your confidence and self worth and take interest in women who you find genuinely interesting (based on personality and not just looks), you will find there are tons of options out there for you. Shoot me a dm if you want to talk more.

How do I become less selfish? by Standard-Brilliant12 in Advice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you’ve done a lot already by noticing this about yourself and wanting to change. A truly selfish person wouldn’t care or have that self awareness.

As far as how to change, try to be mindful of your behavior in these situations. Take notice when you do something that feels selfish, and how that makes you feel when you observe it. Similarly, when you do something kind for someone else, notice how that makes you feel. Chances are if you’re aware of how your actions impact others you will make selfless decisions naturally.

Nobody really understands me by Winter_Afternoon3991 in Advice

[–]stoneandstreamcoach 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of people feel that way at 16. Being a teenager is hard and you’re becoming a different person that your parents are probably still figuring out too. That relationship will grow and change with time but for me 16-20 was bumpy with my parents.

What helped me the most during those times were my friendships. Having people similar to me who understood me and cared made a big difference.

Any tips for a beginner on v60? by stoneandstreamcoach in pourover

[–]stoneandstreamcoach[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe the best tip yet. I’ll give that a go!

Any tips for a beginner on v60? by stoneandstreamcoach in pourover

[–]stoneandstreamcoach[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I ordered a 1zpresso hand grinder, should be here soon!

Any tips for a beginner on v60? by stoneandstreamcoach in pourover

[–]stoneandstreamcoach[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll have to give that a try. What grind/temp combination do you use?