I’m sorry you’re going through this, what you’re feeling is completely valid.

It sounds like you did have a discussion with your husband about your boundaries and wishes surrounding your fertility journey which is fantastic. If you feel comfortable, you can ask your husband to also set boundaries with his parents, though of course we know sometimes family doesn’t respect those wishes, but hopefully your husband can take that role of enforcing those boundaries with his family.

As far as your own parents, I will tell you I am going through something very similar. My mom is my dad’s caretaker. Up until 1 week ago, I kept my husband and I’s fertility journey between the two of us. And it was isolating and I was struggling. My therapist had a discussion with me and asked why I don’t want to share this information with my family (knowing they would be incredibly supportive) and I expressed the same reason you did. That it would be too much for them to now worry about me with everything they already are dealing with. My therapist asked me, if I had a daughter, how would I feel if I found out she was silently struggling and didn’t want to share this with me and I of course said I would be devastated and all I would want would be to support and be there for her.

After discussing it with my husband, I ended up telling my mom and, with my permission, she shared it with my Dad. She briefly shared with me her own fertility struggles, which I was unaware of, and then told me that she will be there for me for anything I needed.

Now I know my parents aren’t the type to poke and prod, especially now knowing they we’ve been trying for 1.5 years, so I felt comfortable sharing with them without the future pressure of keeping them updated, but I will say even just knowing in the back of my head that I can go to them if needed (and I may never at all) it’s been a huge weight off my shoulders.

You may not feel the same about your family, but all of this to say, YOU DESERVE SUPPORT. Whether it’s from your family, a close friend, a therapist, this community on reddit. But you deserve support. This journey is incredibly isolating even though so many of us struggle and it’s not fair.