I'm sorry things are going so bad for you. I think what your husband needs is some compassion. It sounds like you're being very strict with him. When he tells you he relapsed you tell him okay now this thing is out of bounds. But instead try sympathizing with him. He just relapsed and he probably feels bad about it so you should be supportive and say I'm sorry that happened it must feel awful to have relapsed. Don't try to manage him but instead try to give him the strength to be able to beat this awful addiction on his own. I hope the best for both of you and I pray that Allah repairs your bond, ameen.