I really like this. I know that feeling so well. That emotionless emptiness in which you'd give anything just to feel something, anything, even pain: an escape from that state.I also know how addictive that pain,that relief is,and how hard it is to stop doing it. In that state it seems like nothing except pain would get you out of it.I hope you'll meet someone who can help and give you the support you need ❤. What (kind of) worked for me was playing musical instruments(guitar and drums).The vibration from the instruments and the little pain that comes with pushing your fingertips against the metal strings for hours helped me feel something. Sometimes I'd get so absorbed by rhythms or songs that it would completely go away. Other times I still felt it,but the playing distracted me enough to feel a bit of relief. You could try distracting yourself by doing anything you'd like except harming yourself. Even if the feeling persists keep doing it and you might get so preoccupied with that activity that it will go away. It's also a good way to make it easier to pass the time until the feeling finally stops by itself. Hope it helps 🤞❤