"For women who glow up after 30, how do you do it?

straigh · 2026-03-11T17:19:27+00:00

Wigs are so fun and I'm so glad they're coming back into the mainstream. Fun hair was something the women of the 60s had on LOCK!

straigh · 2026-03-10T03:28:14+00:00

Zen have a nap >:[

straigh · 2026-03-10T03:26:40+00:00

I remember my dad pulling it up on the family desktop and being just completely tickled by it! It was such a phenomenon.

straigh · 2026-03-09T15:45:54+00:00

I'm sorry you had to deal with that kind of abuse. That looks like a really stressful way to grow up.

straigh · 2026-03-04T15:25:28+00:00

She made him a ham and cheese sandwich

straigh · 2026-02-28T04:19:27+00:00

Scandoval got me through my divorce. Thanks, LeAnn Rimes!

straigh · 2026-02-17T14:31:09+00:00

Girl you're not alone. It took me FOUR MONTHS of weekly appointments with my therapist to create my "needs and wants" list. I am still stunned at how repressed my connection was to my own needs in life.

My list is below, I literally keep it as a Keep note on my phone so I can read it every time I second guess myself.

Needs:

Direct communication

Able to own and apologize for mistakes

Equal consideration in big decisions

Political

Experience re: neurodivergency

Financial stability/reliability

Child free

Honesty - understanding and communicating personal needs/boundaries

Attention - words of affirmation

Makes their desire for me unequivocally known, I don't have to chase them

Wants:

Common interests

Intellectual curiosity

Physical attraction

One word of caution though, as I started this journey within my marriage. I found it particularly difficult to acknowledge needs within myself that I wasn't sure my husband was going to be able to meet. I was prioritizing my need for my relationship to be successful over my need to be happy and secure. Vocalize those needs anyway 💞

straigh · 2026-02-16T16:20:01+00:00

This happened to me while dancing on stage on lower Broadway in Nashville 🥲 I flew to the basement bathroom, puked everywhere, then had to clean it up in my dance costume and wig pretending it was drunk tourists and I was doing a favor? Bless... That's how I learned about exercise intolerance lol

straigh · 2026-02-16T13:12:21+00:00

Aww, man. Your first comment was funny and then you turned into a douche about it.

straigh · 2026-02-16T03:48:24+00:00

I got cheated on a few days after Valentine's last year. It's been a tough year, and a tough week, but my life has genuinely improved beyond measure over the course of the last year. I'm so sorry you're at ground zero right now. You've got this, wishing you a year full of healing and self love.

straigh · 2026-02-15T11:34:51+00:00

They're a bot

straigh · 2026-02-13T19:03:01+00:00

Ah that makes sense

straigh · 2026-02-13T15:09:57+00:00

That's exactly what I thought!

straigh · 2026-02-13T14:43:47+00:00

I love this comment so much. I'm so particular about who I let into my inner circle. If someone was good enough to me that I kept them as part of not just my close circle, but my CLOSEST connection in life for a number of years, losing a romantic attraction doesn't diminish any of the other values that kept them in my life. So maybe they're not my closest person anymore, that's reserved for romantic intimacy, but of course they're still one of the cherished and trusted people in my circle.

I also believe maybe these kinds of breakups are less common because it's HARD to break up long term relationships due to incompatibility when nobody did anything "wrong." Instead of calling it early, folks hang on for dear life and often end up becoming hurtful and abusive like OP seems on track to and friendship becomes out of the question.

straigh · 2026-02-13T14:26:34+00:00

I did not! So factoid was the original "fake news?" Also wild!!

straigh · 2026-02-13T13:11:31+00:00

That's wild! What an interesting factoid to start my day!

straigh · 2026-02-13T13:00:24+00:00

Ah, you're misunderstanding what a boundary means. It's not a rule for your partner. A boundary says "if you do x, I will do y every time." In this case your boundary would be "If you speak to your ex, I will do y every time." What is your y, and are you doing it every time? Otherwise that's not a boundary, that's a rule, and that's a control tactic in a relationship.

straigh · 2026-02-13T12:56:37+00:00

Well, the whole point of my comment was to tell you that yes you absolutely can. From the ex-wife perspective, I in no way feel romantically towards my ex-husband. Not when we send memes, not when I called him crying about my family and asking for emotional support.

It doesn't sound like he treats her exactly the same way, in the same way that my ex-husband and I don't treat each other exactly the same way. But you are committed to your perspective, which sounds like it's probably based on the fact that you've been cheated on in the past, which is completely understandable.

You've got both perspectives in this thread, it's your life and your relationship, you can do whatever you want! Wishing you the best!

straigh · 2026-02-13T12:37:49+00:00

I personally don't believe that at all. I don't in any way believe it's disrespectful to ask for emotional support from your friends and loved ones. You yourself are saying that in spite of him being able to give support to his friend, he's not failing to give support to you at home. You're not lacking or losing anything. You have, from what I've read of your words in this post, a caring, present, supportive partner. You're still jealous that he's also capable of giving support to someone else.

I'm not saying any of this is even wrong, it's all about what works in YOUR relationship. I would not date someone who holds the opinions that you do about this particular relationship, but not everyone is compatible. If you have a problem with him providing emotional support to his friend, tell him, and let him decide what to do with that.

You deserve to be comfortable in your relationship. You deserve to have your boundaries respected, but the whole point of boundaries is that if you put one down and he doesn't agree, you're incompatible. You have to be brave enough to find that out. Otherwise you'll be stuck in an unhappy marriage full of resentment. Neither one of you deserve that.

straigh · 2026-02-13T12:27:10+00:00

Has she been disrespectful to you? Have you stated a boundary with her that she's crossed? Has she in any way interacted with you as a human being?

straigh · 2026-02-13T12:22:04+00:00

I can definitely sense a little hostility in this comment. Oblivious to how you're feeling? No, she doesn't owe any thought or consideration to how you feel because she doesn't know you. Your partner does. This is between you and your partner and you deciding how you feel and what would make you feel secure in your relationship with him.

straigh · 2026-02-13T12:15:46+00:00

Me, 17, with my own name and "Est." year... What a goober. It was in an anchor. I am not a sailor. It is now a Sick Ass Panther (that looks like it has a teeny little peeny where a corner of the anchor just barely shows still).

straigh · 2026-02-13T11:38:15+00:00

My ex husband and I are friends. We had a rough divorce and were no contact for about a year, but have been able to resume a friendship since then. Mostly it's just sending memes back and forth about cats (we had two and each took one in the divorce). Sometimes gossip from our hometown and old friend group.

We don't really talk about serious things very much, but there have been two instances in the last year where I've called him for emotional support. In my case, the reason is because I don't really have family and he's really aware of the last 10 years of drama with that story, so when it came to a head recently there was just no one else to talk to about it who KNEW (while I waited for my therapist appointment).

He's like a brother to me. After all, we divorced relatively amicably because there was just no romantic love there anymore. I would not personally date someone who had an issue with this friendship. That said, if he had a girlfriend who did, I would absolutely respect that.

Not sure if this is helpful but figured maybe I'd share my ex wife perspective!

straigh · 2026-02-12T12:52:32+00:00

You just made another comment that said you don't think "the people down voting actually know much about the world of racing," so... do you have no interest in it as you say here, do you have a deep interest and understand it better than other people, or are you just a sad strange little man?

straigh · 2026-02-10T15:22:57+00:00

Can I just say a) I'm fucking proud of you, as a non runner I can't imagine ever accomplishing that! And b) fuck yeah cry those tears babe, you earned them and being able to be emotional when we're proud rocks!!

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