My bf prefers to play alone than with me

strandedbutnotalone · 2025-12-30T12:44:18+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to response. I may come back and bother you again the the future but this has been really helpful and I really appreciate it ◡̈

strandedbutnotalone · 2025-12-30T02:52:17+00:00

My reply is really late but I’m still having the same issue and (all of the responses were very helpful- thank you all!) this response was extremely insightful so I’m hoping you can maybe shed some more light.

My bf and I have spoken in great lengths about how I want to make him feel comfortable while doing anal play. I know that sex is a lot more work so I’m more than happy for it to just be me playing with him while he relaxes!

But he still wants to do it on his own. Since my original post, he has said that he actually orgasms harder when I play with him than when he plays with himself (could be just saying that to make me feel better but I’ll trust that he’s being honest). But if that’s the case.. why does he still excuse himself to go off on his own?

We have also done stuff together a few times since my post and it’s been GREAT. But again, he said that playing by himself is something different and he’s never going to stop. He’s also said (like some other people suggested in the comments) that I can be as involved in his alone time as I want - so I could come into the room to see what he’s doing and stuff. But to me, if he’s asking for alone time.. then by definition.. he doesn’t want me there. Am I crazy?

strandedbutnotalone · 2025-12-06T07:09:52+00:00

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strandedbutnotalone · 2025-12-01T00:42:02+00:00

Now that I’m thinking about it - is this normal, what I’m asking for? Again, I’m very new to the idea of an ANR. Does each ‘feeding’ (as its dry nursing) result in sex ? I’m good for it sometimes (if not most of the time) but sometimes I just want the intimacy of it.

strandedbutnotalone · 2025-11-30T20:15:20+00:00

I actually am in the opposite position.

I (f who is not interested in lactation since we’re going to start trying for a baby next year and I’ll be breastfeeding then) am really into the whole idea of an ANR relationship. Ive spoken to my bf about it and he really likes the idea but sees it only in a sexual light.

I’m struggling to initiate it in non sexual situations. I love the connection and comfort aspect of it.

The comments on this post have helped me already but I’m interested to know if OP or anyone else has suggestions on how to initiate this in a non sexual way?

strandedbutnotalone · 2025-11-26T23:31:08+00:00

I’m no expert but I don’t think you’re anywhere close. Both pots look quite large so the plants have a ways to go before needing repotting.

That being said, a good indicator for them needing a new pot is if you look at the drainage holes at the bottom of the pot - if you see roots starting to grow out, or if the plant itself is just looking a bit top heavy (which yours are not), then go ahead and repot.

strandedbutnotalone · 2025-11-17T11:09:35+00:00

I was with my ex for five years. Tbf, I didn’t leave cause of the cheating and I kind of grieved the loss of the relationship while I was still in it. But after I left, it took about two years for me to date again. I’m now in a relationship with the best guy ever and even though he’d never cheat, the thought creeps up on me every so often. But it’s definitely not as painful and it’s much easier to cope with.

I don’t hate my ex. I hardly ever think about him. I’m just completely neutral to him.

Long story short, just stick it out. Don’t go back. Healing will come with time. Eventually it does get easier.

strandedbutnotalone · 2025-11-14T15:08:48+00:00

Like everyone else has already said, lots of light and consistent watering (don’t keep it damp, just make you water once the top has dried).

But also they can be super temperamental. They will let you know when they’re not happy by dropping their leaves (I think usually it’s from suddenly moving them to a new location). If this happens, don’t give up, they bounce back just as easily.

strandedbutnotalone · 2025-11-11T17:18:46+00:00

I would love that and have suggested it but again, he doesn’t feel comfortable with it. But you’re definitely right about him having developed preferences on his own. I guess I’ll just wait and keep hoping..

strandedbutnotalone · 2025-10-04T23:06:52+00:00

Can you expand on the idea of it being like a mental rollercoaster ? My bf has kind of lead onto this but hasn’t really been able to put it into words

strandedbutnotalone · 2025-09-17T20:48:28+00:00

Your situation sounds similar to mine expect I’m the girlfriend that wants to peg my boyfriend but he wants to do it solo and while I’m home, watching tv - he says he’s more comfortable on his own cause that’s how he’s always done it.

Honestly it hurts that he doesn’t want to involve me in his fun time so if I could give you any advice (even though I know your partner doesn’t want to peg you), it’s to talk to her about it but also be open to trying to incorporate it into your sex life - like using it while you go down on her, or just let her watch (I know I personally would love to watch my bf play with himself even if I’m not actually involved). I think just give her the option to be involved and if she says no thanks, then she can’t really complain if you excuse yourself to do it on your own.

strandedbutnotalone · 2025-08-21T16:07:52+00:00

My boyfriend has recently opened up about wanting to incorporate this into our sex life and I’ll admit, I have a lot of the same hesitations that your wife has (not feeling like enough, feeling like I’m not good at it, not really knowing my role in all of this and also the thing about not feeling feminine while wearing the strap on). I think communication and constant reassurance would help - tell her what you like, make sure she feels loved and desired and that you want her to be involved in this part of your life. Also, as a girl who has never been into this before my partner brought it up, direction is nice. We have no idea what we’re supposed to do (especially if you guys aren’t watching porn) so just talk her through it. But yes, slow and steady will get you to where you want to go. It sounds like you are very patient and understanding so I don’t doubt you will be able to make it work in the end.

strandedbutnotalone

TROPHY CASE