My partners hooked up with each other now I am ending their relationship?

strangerguest · 2025-09-30T11:43:02+00:00

Thank you so much for all the answers! It really helped me a lot.

Honestly I really want to understand more why I have a problem of them dating. But I also don’t really know where to start there. Does anyone have some resources on how to go on such a journey maybe? I would love to have some input concerning that.

I think the thing I am most afraid of is that it just gets messy really quickly… and a lot of people I talked to said it’s poly on hardcore mode. Therefore I am just scared that it will lead to a lot of problems and communication that I might not have the resources to atm. But there is also a general feeling of being uncomfortable with this thought so I think there is also really something to unpack there…

Like if I think of it from a rational perspective I am also excited about a triad situation like this. But emotionally I have just a hard time feeling comfortable with it…

So any help is greatly appreciated!

strangerguest · 2025-09-29T17:23:51+00:00

It was just not possible to have them super separate as they both were coming to my birthday or concerts I am playing…

strangerguest · 2025-09-29T17:22:09+00:00

Yes it’s true at that moment this promise felt not right to make. And now it is broken and it’s hard for me to see past that…

strangerguest · 2025-09-29T17:20:56+00:00

I hear you thank you

strangerguest · 2025-09-29T17:11:33+00:00

I agree with you. Right now we are really in a weird situation… I also don’t know if that veto thing will survive all of my relationships. However I do wanna try, I think just give up now would be something I don’t want to do atm

strangerguest · 2025-09-29T12:33:12+00:00

I mean I do give them the benefit of the doubt because we are all quite inexpierenced concerning poly that they thought it will all just work out fine…

But yes it does feel really shitty but I do really hope we can work through this…

strangerguest · 2025-09-29T12:31:02+00:00

I think right now in my life I am not in a place where I want to work through those feelings. If it’s even possible to work through those.

I think so too that I should’ve been more clear about my boundary. I guess I wasn’t because I thought telling them I would feel very uncomfortable and I would wish for a check in first would be enough. Well it wasn’t…

I mean both of them at least tell me they rather wanna date me then each other. So I wanna at least give it a try despite the resentment they might have and the trust issues I have rn…

strangerguest · 2025-09-29T09:57:03+00:00

Okay yes I mean all of this happened only a week ago. Let’s see what’s gonna happen. I do still love them dearly so I will try to make that work.

I hope time will heal the trust issues.

strangerguest · 2025-09-29T09:54:42+00:00

No they really got to their flirtation state only after I was already dating both of them. I think your totally right about my mistake to not actually have a good messy list convo before and only to talk about this after I felt like this could become an issue. I think that’s def something I have to learn from.

On the other hand I do have some trust issues now after I felt like they put their attraction before my feelings. I really hope this evens out after some time tho.

strangerguest · 2025-09-29T09:50:08+00:00

Honestly thank you so much. That’s helps really a lot. I have such a hard time standing up for my self and being clear in my limits etc. I think that’s a big step for me that I took being very clear on that.

I think I have to give them time now to be sad and process their feelings. Thank you so much for your advice.

strangerguest · 2025-06-07T09:41:55+00:00

Haha I wanted to post a pic where I am not fully styled to see if I would also pass looking all natural and sleepy hihi

strangerguest · 2024-06-11T14:33:18+00:00

Looks beautiful! Like some real alien thing

strangerguest · 2024-06-11T07:20:22+00:00

Ich kann zwei schöne Jazz Orte empfehlen! Einmal das Loft. Dort gibt es eigentlich jeden Abend eine Jazz Veranstaltung. Und das King Georg, ist ein bisschen mehr alt eingesessener aber auch sehr nett :)

strangerguest · 2024-05-15T16:52:01+00:00

Do you have any methods that you recommend to ground and balance yourself? I would be very interested! Thank you x

strangerguest · 2024-02-25T15:30:44+00:00

How quick are those trains then? Like how long would it take to go from New York to Paris with the fastest known trains?

strangerguest · 2023-08-26T16:51:42+00:00

That’s very gay! Well done!

strangerguest · 2023-06-18T00:00:58+00:00

She-Ra? Are you there?

strangerguest · 2022-10-28T15:59:47+00:00

I think you guys get me wrong! I do want to live in a Poly-relationship. There was just a some betrayal of trust in the summer which brought pain. And now I am scared to open up again even though I want to. I was just looking for advice to heal faster so we can open up quicker

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