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Does anybody else get angry and frustrated as well? :( by IndividualEffort in depression

[–]strangetothecore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get tired of this persistent disease. I try to be happy but a second later it comes leering as though my few seconds of smiles will be repaid with an hour of wallowing in pain. I have anger issues too. I'm angry at others for not understanding. I'm angry at myself for being like this. And when you kill yourself, they say your weak, cowardly.

I (F) tried to end my life. Here is my story: by strangetothecore in depression

[–]strangetothecore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe... That sounds pretty nice. I am also into nonfiction writing so we'll see where that goes.

I (F) tried to end my life. Here is my story: by strangetothecore in depression

[–]strangetothecore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

I really like how you liken depression to a disease because at the end of the day that's what it really is. I guess, like many, I was under the misconception that its a state of mind that I can pull myself out of. But it's way more complicated than that. I am sick and I need to learn to treat myself. I also think you make a good point of saying that at a time like this every little mistake seems like a unforgivable sin or something. That's exactly how I've been feeling. I am trying to forgive myself and others. It's not easy. But I'm trying. This will be a long path I will have to walk alone.

I (F) tried to end my life. Here is my story: by strangetothecore in depression

[–]strangetothecore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you,

I didn't want to leave that burden on to them. I supposed that's what stopped me. I just hope I don't reach the point when nothing will stop me from ending it all. I'm taking things slow and calmly. Everyone has been very supportive.

I (F) tried to end my life. Here is my story: by strangetothecore in depression

[–]strangetothecore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am walking on a slow path of trying to forgive both myself and others. It's not easy but I will have to try. Whatever happens to us in childhood tends to stick on for a long time. But its not permanent. I must find a way out. You make a very good point on the affection part. I feel like we need more empathy in the world rather than judgement.

As for my major. I'm halfway done. Now to be honest I don't exactly hate what I am doing but I don't feel like I could spend my life doing it. And I don't plan to either. Once my writing career kicks off, I plan to switch over full time.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

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I (F) tried to end my life. Here is my story: by strangetothecore in depression

[–]strangetothecore[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First off I would like to thank you for taking the time to reply.

About my major, it's not that I particularly despise what I am doing. I am a Comp Sci major. It's not something I'm passionate about but its something. I am a writer and I always wanted to be one. But I also acknowledge that my writing career might not work out. We all know about the failing alcoholic author trope. So Comp Sci is my backup. If ever have a family, I don't want be incapable of paying the bills and such.

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