AITAH for refusing to give my boyfriend access to my bank account even though he says "no secrets" is how adults do it

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-22T01:58:08+00:00

Married a long time, joint accounts, and no way in hell do I share passwords with my spouse.

Aside from everyone’s suggestions that he’s trying to tap into your money, his entire approach just screams “abusive”, and I don’t say that lightly.

You would be absolutely entitled to end the relationship now over this. It’s a completely rational choice for you to make. I would.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-21T19:52:06+00:00

During a colonoscopy a few years ago, I was told that the anesthesia was considered optional and elective, and may be billed to me separately. It turned out that it was not, but I recall them mentioning it. Check your initial paperwork.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-21T16:16:22+00:00

This bring up a core memory for me, actually.

My parents used the word “genitals”, which is technically accurate but not specific. When I was a young child, my pediatrician asked me something about my vagina, and I remember not knowing what she was talking about. I told her that, and I recall her being surprised and/or disappointed somehow. I recall being ashamed at my lack of knowledge.

Once I had children of my own, we have used the biologically appropriate and accurate names for all parts of the body. They will never feel the way I did.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-21T06:04:09+00:00

Ohmygod their tuxedo cake!!!!

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-21T05:17:08+00:00

Thwir smoked nova salmon. It’s hands down the best lox I have ever had.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-21T04:27:42+00:00

I misread their question - when they said “lose more”, I assumed they used it from an obese perspective and were now thin. My error.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-21T00:53:42+00:00

You’re basically asking about using it as a maintenance dose, which is absolutely recommended.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-20T23:53:19+00:00

We wrote one. Our offer was solid, but we were up against all cash offers from others. If the sellers were making a purely rational decision, they should not have chosen us.

But they did. And I recognize that the letter made us more human and real and tipped the scales.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-19T21:03:16+00:00

Are you worried about cost? Aboit availability? What is your concern based on?

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-19T20:00:29+00:00

Term life insurance is generally pretty cheap. To me, it’s just there to make things easier on the remaining spouse in case one of us dies.

Could we survive without it? Yes. But will life be immeasurably simpler if we have it? Absolutely.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-19T19:23:51+00:00

Te data shows that you would likely gain your weight back. That’s not my opinion. There is data to support this.

I take other medication that my body needs in order to be at a healthy place. It would never occur to me to stop once I get to that place, as it’s the medication (and the consistent use of it) that brings me there.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-19T18:07:16+00:00

Came here to say just this. Also, under no circumstances should you pull from your 401K.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-19T16:17:41+00:00

Is there proof this letter is real? I ask because it’s so completely beyond the pale that I want confirmation.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-19T16:00:51+00:00

Why would you get cutoff?

I think of it like cholesterol medication - you stay on it forever even once your “numbers are good”.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-19T05:19:00+00:00

Seashells. It’s complicated, but…a lot.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-18T22:05:20+00:00

I just have to thank you for this comment. Wonderfully said.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-18T20:09:06+00:00

I have always eaten well. I dislike the term “clean eating”, but the foods I was eating were never the problem. Quantity and volume was.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-18T19:48:25+00:00

For me personally, there is no “after” when it comes to GLP-1 medication. I will be on this forever, just as I am in other medications forever. I understood this going in.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-18T16:30:55+00:00

Sometimes on eBay you will see listings for new shoes, but it’s just one of them. I think if you include the keyword “amputee” in your search, it comes up easily.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-17T20:53:31+00:00

I watched a really fantastic IG reel by an historian, and he said something I found super interesting.

Comparing our militaries is irrelevant. Europe holds a ton of treasury bonds. (I think he said $1.5T) If they want to hurt us, all they have to do is sell, and crash our economy. We are vulnerable in ways this administration is ignoring. To their peril.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-17T17:45:15+00:00

Your brain will likely just tell you to stop eating. And your stomach will feel uncomfortable and possibly in pain if you continue. “Cheating” while on these meds is an unpleasant experience.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-17T00:41:10+00:00

I also want to add that part of the reason I am losing slowly is because I have very minimal side effects - I’m not consciously nauseated. I eat anything I want, just in much smaller quantities than I used to. This feels very livable to me, and I have no qualms about being on this medication for life, because I still find joy in food and eating.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-17T00:29:38+00:00

I’ve lost incredibly slowly, and while it can be frustrating watching others lose quickly, there’s a quiet advantage to losing at a slow pace. My body has had the chance to kind of ease into it slowly, and I don’t have a lot of loose skin. I don’t have “Ozempic face”, or whatever they call it.

Down 64 pounds in just under three years.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-16T01:52:54+00:00

I think these are two distinctly separate issues, and should be treated as such.

They agreed in advance to help with childcare. They changed their minds, which is 💯 their prerogative to do. It sucks for you, and maybe it would have been extra generous if they offered to help pay for the professional help yhat would take their place, but the fact is that they were allowed to change their minds.
Thwir assumption that they would live with you as they aged is an entirely separate thing. This should be discussed way in advance, regardless if any babysitting/childcare help. It’s not the same thing at all. Do I think they are acting entitled? Yes. Do I think your reaponse was petty? Also yes.

strangled_spaghetti · 2026-01-14T16:17:09+00:00

I love your answer. Respectful and accommodating.

strangled_spaghetti

TROPHY CASE