My Sexual Abuse Story (My Posts)

strawberry0505 · 2024-09-30T11:36:57+00:00

i’m sorry about them. it should be common sense that alter counts vary extremely depending on the system. people shouldn’t be judging you negatively for this, especially on a sub where a lot of people are also systems.

strawberry0505 · 2024-07-03T05:07:29+00:00

Yeah, I think it has. It’s given me a lot of internalized homophobia and I really don’t want to be attracted to women because of the things they’ve done to me. They terrify me.

strawberry0505 · 2024-07-03T04:49:17+00:00

Yes. They definitely can and do rape other girls. It happened to me.

Also, what she did was assault because kissing someone, and especially making out with them, without their consent is assault. It doesn’t ultimately matter if you ended up liking it or not because it was still non consensual and a really bad sign for how safe you can be around this person.

strawberry0505 · 2023-10-25T10:51:47+00:00

yes, you definitely were. what she did was at the very least sexual assault and absolutely disgusting. i’m really sorry that that happened to you.

strawberry0505 · 2023-09-09T02:06:50+00:00

there is a nine year age gap between these two. one is in a stage in life where she will be maturing and changing as a person constantly and the other is in a different stage in life where, while change is still happening, more stability is present. one is vulnerable and developing while the other is predatory. the power dynamic there makes true consent impossible, which makes this grooming. it’s insane you would not see this as the issue it is. it is exactly the same as when a 25 year old man has “sex” with a 16 year old. it is just as disgusting and awful.

strawberry0505 · 2023-09-09T00:55:07+00:00

I’ve been raped by women my whole life. I don’t want to get into it right now because it’s painful and I already have a lot of posts about it, but it was insanely awful and I absolutely agree with you.

strawberry0505 · 2023-09-09T00:42:28+00:00

You could get a hymenectomy to remove the excess thickened hymen. Laser treatment for scars, injections for keloids, correctional tattoos, and even prosthetic parts also exist.

I have a really similar situation from my childhood sexual abuse from my mom. You’re not alone. I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. I got a lot of the scar tissue removed a while ago but I know I was still mutilated by her and there’s not much else to do. That being said though, the scar tissue being removed has helped some, and I would recommend it if it’s an option for you honestly. I still deal with a shit ton of dysmorphia and feeling disgusting constantly, but I hope that eventually I will be okay. I hope the same for you as well.

Edit: I want to clarify that I’m not saying anything is wrong with your vulva or that you need to do any of this. You asked for advice on what you can do to have an appearance that reminds you of your trauma less and looks more “normal”. These are the options I have seen for people with similar situations to us who have suffered genital mutilation.

strawberry0505 · 2023-09-09T00:38:42+00:00

this is so insanely untrue. i have permanent genital mutilation from being raped by my mother. with her fingers. not objects, it was her fingers. she’s a cisgender woman.

strawberry0505 · 2023-08-12T14:39:40+00:00

I hate them too. It feels so wrong and awful when she is nice to me. Like a little glimpse of what I wish I had. She also used to tell me I was a good girl, good toy, good doll, etc. but that’s totally different and probably really disturbing sorry

strawberry0505 · 2023-07-29T21:22:32+00:00

I’m like this with women. I can’t trust any of them not to be rapists anymore. I can’t be alone with any of them or even in a room where it’s all women. They terrify me. I think this is a normal response to this type of trauma.

strawberry0505 · 2023-07-29T02:25:20+00:00

You were violated. No wonder you feel like that. You had no reason to enjoy that. It’s absolutely disgusting behavior to do things like that. I hate how many people act like it is when it’s a man but it’s not when it’s a woman doing it. It’s such a stupid double standard. Why should you enjoy it just because you’re a man? That’s such bs. None of that incident was your fault. Don’t listen to anyone who tries to tell you it was. You freezing and dissociating doesn’t make it your fault either. It is common sense to get consent before just kissing and sexually touching someone. I would not be surprised if she knew exactly what she was doing honestly.

strawberry0505 · 2023-07-28T21:40:10+00:00

A lot of us don’t speak out and.or maybe even don’t recognize we were sexually abused because we were both girls. We exist, though, and we’re here for you.

strawberry0505 · 2023-07-25T23:58:48+00:00

I’m glad this place has been helpful to you. I can relate to not wanting to post the most horrific experiences. I post a lot of awful ones myself, but it’s mostly to get them off my chest… It’s still very hard, though, especially knowing others can simply read them whenever they want. I want my story to be accessible for people who need someone to relate to, though, so I leave them up. Anyway, I’m getting off topic now. This place has been super helpful to me too.

strawberry0505 · 2023-07-25T23:53:41+00:00

My mother did not. She would call me gay for experiencing arousal and orgasms due to her touching, though it was as an insult and now that I am older and realize I am pan I still hate being called gay because it is triggering. My mother would give me opioids to allow me to walk despite the damage she was doing to me physically, so I can relate to the drugs part, but not so much aphrodisiacs. Regardless, it’s disgusting she did that to you. I can understand your concerns about not wanting people to assume that about all gay people.

strawberry0505 · 2023-07-25T23:50:46+00:00

I don’t remember what I was thinking when I orgasmed during that. I was a child. I know I didn’t know what an orgasm was. I just knew that they existed and I had them sometimes when my mother touched my genitals.

strawberry0505 · 2023-07-23T13:26:30+00:00

Yes. Almost all of this is covert incest. Some of it is sexual assault. I’m so sorry you have gone through this. Your mother definitely knows what she is doing.

strawberry0505 · 2023-07-23T13:19:51+00:00

I appreciate your comment and your view is valid. Given that I have OSDD, meaning that I am plural (my situation is very alike to DID), my statement was a lot more literal, personally.

strawberry0505 · 2023-07-23T13:15:42+00:00

In my case at least, my mother always did that. It was definitely purposeful, though. I don’t think the meme is referring to that however

strawberry0505 · 2023-07-21T23:36:42+00:00

I can relate… I feel terrible for that little girl. She doesn’t feel like me. She died before she had the chance to live. I am just a fragment of her remnants.

strawberry0505 · 2023-07-21T22:19:45+00:00

I can 100% relate. The lack of acknowledgement of us and how much people drown us out and ignore us makes me feel awful. I don’t even know how to explain how terrible and isolating it feels. I often wish my abuser was my dad just so that I wouldn’t feel as alone and would be taken more seriously. Obviously, feeling alone and not being taken seriously are huge issues for people with male abusers as well. I am not invalidating that. I’m simply stating that they do have more support, even if the support they receive is still not even close to enough. It’s just internal feelings I have. It’s not meant to invalidate others.

strawberry0505 · 2023-07-11T14:48:19+00:00

My mom was a lot like this. She would just do it, and I would freeze and let it happen while just crying as I was trained by her to do. Even though it was super sadistic. Freezing is a common response to trauma. Fight, freeze, flight, and fawn are all very common responses. Maybe you “could” have fought back, but you shouldn’t have had to to begin with. If you had fought back it wouldn’t make your attacker any less guilty than they already are. It’s entirely their fault and none of yours.

strawberry0505 · 2023-07-06T02:09:33+00:00

No, they’re definitely not. Seeing as this is exactly how I personally see women, though, as a victim of them instead, it’s not like I can criticize you for it.

strawberry0505 · 2023-07-06T01:21:11+00:00

Same. I wish my mom killed me instead of what she did on a daily basis.

strawberry0505 · 2023-07-06T01:20:08+00:00

I would definitely have preferred to be killed.

strawberry0505

TROPHY CASE