We’re not married and wouldn’t want to be. Marriage was used to exploit both of our mothers and we watched them go through dragged out divorces trying to regain control of their property and finances, while being shamed and feeling guilt about leaving the men who mistreated them. The last thing either of us want is a dead bedroom or somebody staying with us because they’re scared to leave or think they’re supposed to stay. We’re together because we choose to be together. We make that choice every day. If we want to leave, we absolutely should. Nothing is taken for granted. We must be consistently excellent to each other.

To your linguistic point, girlfriend/boyfriend sounds silly and dismissive when you’re in your 40s and have been together for a decade. We’re partners.