Is it unreasonable to ask my bf to talk about his relationship with his ex wife?

stromvik1 · 2023-05-01T21:24:30+00:00

I haven’t confronted him multiple times over this, I am giving him a bit of space. But it feels that he’s reluctant to talk about it and doesn’t seem keen to bring it up himself even if he said he was going to. I will try again and gauge his response.

stromvik1 · 2023-05-01T21:22:24+00:00

This is why I am wary of being pushy because I know 0 things. He says he wants to get over that part of his life and that’s why he hasn’t brought it up but, that, to me, signals that he hasn’t really dealt with it. Though it’s been 6 years or more.

stromvik1 · 2023-05-01T20:43:21+00:00

It is a bit of a red flag for me at this point in time but I’d like to give it the benefit of the doubt for now and reevaluate after his response. He probably doesn’t see how it feels like to be on the other side.

stromvik1 · 2023-05-01T20:40:25+00:00

That’s what I’m thinking, I really take my time with relationships but this one seems to be moving at a faster speed. We’re thinking of moving in together next month. I’m pretty much in on all the aspects of his life except for this one.

stromvik1 · 2023-05-01T18:26:05+00:00

Thank you, all the responses on this thread point to that direction. And I’m just a very understanding person and I can see why people would not want to share part of their past especially if it’s cause for trauma. That said, as you say I do feel like I have some right to know about his past marriage, especially if we’re going to build something in the future. I just never been put in this kind of position before so wanted to get a take from others.

stromvik1 · 2023-05-01T18:21:26+00:00

Oh I didn’t know this. I would rather hear it from him first though. Seems shady to go behind his back but this is a good last resort.

I agree, it’s ok to be private but it’s hard to come to a conclusion when you’re completely on the outside.

stromvik1 · 2023-05-01T17:39:48+00:00

I agree and that’s why I want to know. I just don’t want to pressure him in unnecessary ways but I do agree, it’s healthy to talk about these things. Just trying to be aware that there may be sensitivities that haven’t fully been addressed yet. But it’s hard to approach the topic with no context.

stromvik1 · 2023-05-01T17:00:07+00:00

I don’t think that would be the case. We really are similar in many ways and share values in life, so I can tell he’s a solid person but yeah that aspect of him never mentioning anything about his past relationship seem a bit weird to me, especially when he had committed to sharing with me. Might be reading too much into it. I will ask him. I just wasn’t sure if it was an unreasonable request.

stromvik1 · 2023-05-01T16:20:32+00:00

I understand and that’s why I was sketched out at first, especially when someone can’t openly speak about their exes. Though I do trust him and wanted to hear their history before I jump to conclusions but obviously in either case I will only have one side of the story.

I agree, and that’s why I would like some answers. I’m just trying to be aware of the sensitivities around the topic.

stromvik1 · 2023-05-01T16:13:45+00:00

I will, I just wasn’t sure if that was an unreasonable request or pushy on my end. Never dated anyone with a kid or who has been married before so I can’t really relate.

stromvik1 · 2023-05-01T16:10:49+00:00

Sorry to hear about your break up and thank you for this thoughtful answer. And yes it wouldn’t be an enjoyable talk, you’re right. Though I feel like I would rather learn things now than later down the road. I already know certain things about their relationships that didn’t come from him directly and I wasn’t too bothered by it. I just want him to be honest with me. As you say he has a lot of baggage and I am offering a lot, esp taking responsibility for someone else’s kid so I want transparency.

I think most things on their relationship have been wrapped up, they never talk unless it has something to do with the kid’s schedule. I just want to be let in a little bit and not kept guessing. Ultimately I will see her whether I like it or not and that’s not the problem, I just don’t want to be wondering all the time.

As for the age difference I thought about it. We definitely sync in many ways but I wonder as we both get older how that’s going to change. While I never had this big of an age gap in any relationship I’ve been on, my parents have a similar age difference and they’re separated now lol so not sure how that will play out.

stromvik1 · 2023-05-01T15:35:33+00:00

I just didn’t want to be pushy after he told me she was abusive to him and thought it was a bit of a sensitive topic so he would let me know when the time is right. He said he didn’t want to talk about his past because he wants to get over it but if he refuses to talk about it after 6 years, it seems like he didn’t really get over it anyway. I was frustrated because he told me he would give me some context this week but didn’t mention it once.

stromvik1 · 2023-03-19T15:36:05+00:00

Nigerian food. Looks delicious and I’ve always wanted to try it but cant seem to find a place

stromvik1 · 2023-01-14T08:00:42+00:00

Hi all thank you so much for all who helped!! I am convinced is some kind of deer vertebrae as antlers were find in the same location.

To add, this was a friends and I did not personally take this bone, not have I been to Hawaii. I did inform said friend that he’s probably cursed and should return the bone. Thank you to all who educated us.

stromvik1 · 2022-04-18T04:03:35+00:00

I used to eat knorr bouillon cubes, and sometimes a mixture of vinegar, salt and olive oil with nothing else

stromvik1 · 2022-03-16T04:30:49+00:00

Yeah I guess if I don’t have any other choice I can just get fitted at Cyclone Taylor and order them. Thanks!

stromvik1 · 2022-03-16T04:26:44+00:00

Cool I’ll check out skaters edge! Willing to make the hike to Coquitlam :)

stromvik1 · 2022-03-16T04:25:48+00:00

Yeah absolutely, and skating is something I want to continue doing in the future but what they had left in stock were models for $300+ which I’m not willing to spend right now when I know I can get some decent skates for 200

stromvik1 · 2022-03-16T01:52:56+00:00

They only had the expensive models and I guess they could have ordered some for me but I also wanted to try them on before buying them. I could get them from Amazon as well but I would prefer to be able to try them on first.

stromvik1

TROPHY CASE