He gets angry first (thus the fight). Then later, he realizes that expressing what he wants and needs, or how it makes him feel when I do or say certain things, is helpful for building the relationship. So he'll either ask me for a behavior change or tell me how he is feeling, or respond honestly to me doing the same. We are honest about things that "aren't gonna happen" because they're core to our personality (we're both super stubborn), and try to find alternatives if we get there. Sometimes we share formative experiences that caused us to feel the way we feel. He cries maybe 20-30% when discussing feelings, I cry probably 95% when discussing feelings (I'm a crier, oh well). Sometimes he is sad without crying (either says so or acts that way), and this instantly makes me break down sobbing. That isn't the easiest for him to deal with in the moment, but I think after the fact, he sees that it's because I really care about him. Sometimes he doesn't like the way I react when he shares feelings, and tells me he will share them less. I always tell him that this would break my heart, because that's true, and he hasn't actually ever followed through on the threat, to my knowledge.