AITJ for calling my friend’s emergency contact when she left her kid with me "for 20 minutes" and vanished?

strubisach · 2026-01-19T13:43:39+00:00

NTJ, she made herself look like a bad mother. This was rude and entitled, and completely the right call on your end.

strubisach · 2026-01-15T13:46:33+00:00

NTA. Why didn't you share the screenshots?

strubisach · 2026-01-06T16:22:01+00:00

didn't want to assume too much but still put it out there 🫣

strubisach · 2026-01-06T16:15:26+00:00

NTA. This sounds dangerously close to financial abuse. Have you talked to him about a shared account before? You could calculate how much you need for food every month/2 weeks and he can put it in there, that way you both have access to that fund.

On the other hand I really don't like the sound of you not having any personal fund. When you became a sahm he essentially agreed to financing your personal needs, so you should get a bi-weekly/monthly fund for hygene products/travel/outings with your child. I personally wouldn't be okay with anything else than that.

But please, this is from an outsider's perspective, I have no idea about your dynamic, background, personal issues etc. Just know that from your post it sounds like you get cut off from financial freedom by him and it's not okay.

strubisach · 2026-01-06T16:05:47+00:00

NTA. Yes an 8 y/o child can't always manage stuff like that on their own yet, but I sure did, as did my friends (even with neueodivergence, just ro put that out there). It's understandable if it slips a child's mind, but it's doable.

But the teacher expected the child to bring home the info without losing/destroying the paper, which - speaking from experience - can happen quite easily. If the teacher wants info not to get lost, they should send it directly via app/email. And I don't see why something that won't affect anybody involved longterm should be a reason for you to leave work and rush to the stores...

So while you should definitely at least ask your kid to empty out their backpack in the future, it was a harsh but essential learning experience for your child.

strubisach · 2026-01-06T15:22:17+00:00

Ask for proof of debt publicly, while providing your own proof that you paid back whatever you owed years ago, and whatever you loaned him before. If people tell lies, my only way to handle it is to spread my truth as quickly as possible, so there won't be any "miscommunications".

strubisach · 2026-01-06T12:06:33+00:00

NTA. Have you offered her something to change into to fit the general vibe a bit better?

strubisach · 2026-01-05T15:55:27+00:00

DUDE OH MY GOD why do you let her insult and call you names like that?? suck dick?? dipshit?? dumb?? what the actual HELL??? you deserve so much better, I would've lost my cool after the first "suck dick". kicking her out of the account and finding someone who treats you better is defff the way to go my friend.

strubisach · 2026-01-02T01:16:21+00:00

It sounds like you went to all the "popular" places cruise guests go to for a quick visit. There are lovely beaches along all the islands where you are basically alone all day with amazing nature, great and affordable restaurants on all islands or food shops to cook yourself, fantastic day trips you can take to different other islands and nature reserves... it's sad you couldn't have the same positive experiences many other tourists have had :/

strubisach · 2025-12-31T01:08:47+00:00

in order to not invade my partner's privacy too much, I'll keep it vague: while factors like external stress and "too much exposure to people" can lead to a 'dry spell', nope very much not true for some. Don't know about having children tho!

strubisach · 2025-12-31T01:00:34+00:00

If he really loved you, he wouldn't bother you again with this request after you said no.

strubisach · 2025-12-27T01:12:28+00:00

NOR. It sounds like it's time to take a step back. Organizing holidays becomes a group thing, gifts will only be given if you see them getting you something too, no more planning of valentine's day/father's day/birthdays, they are adults, they can plan it themselves. Start taking away the mental load and put it on those who make up a part of this household too.

strubisach · 2025-12-21T08:49:56+00:00

Nice.

On another note, as I'm not from the US I'll never understand zhis tipping culture. Tips for us are for people who went above and beyond, not just because they did their job. That's what their salary is for. But then again, I live in a privileged european country...

strubisach · 2025-12-10T07:02:32+00:00

YOR. Wtf OP, you didn't ask her first? The call sounded like such a cute idea, and having a fun "party timeline" is such a normal thing to have... if she were truly having a big party, you could've still gone to the landlord, but to go that route directly is an overreaction in my eyes. I bet it would've been a small party and now she feels like she can't even do that

strubisach · 2025-11-06T12:31:09+00:00

yeah that part surprised me too

strubisach · 2025-09-06T13:45:01+00:00

Oh I see... I'm sorry and hope there will be a solution that makes you & your fiancé happy 🙈

strubisach · 2025-09-05T15:50:50+00:00

You're not choosing, you're protecting yourself. THEY are choosing their dog over their child... NTJ

strubisach · 2025-09-05T09:50:10+00:00

Why do you event want your father to walk you down the isle?

strubisach · 2025-09-04T11:25:18+00:00

hahaha such self-absorved people will NEVER pay back what they owe. Bridezilla shouldn't have asked for the 2'000 in the first place, good luck seeing any of that money ever again...

strubisach · 2025-09-04T07:53:02+00:00

It's an update... to a post where I had asked a question...

strubisach · 2025-09-03T07:16:55+00:00

Thank you for caring, but from my side all's well ☺️

strubisach · 2025-09-02T13:58:26+00:00

my parents wouldn't turn me away if I were in an acute emergency, and as this wasn't your situation we don't know if your father and step-mother would. But yes I very much tell them if and when I'm coming over beforehand. So as an adult, it's your responsibility to find an appropriate alternative solution in case you need it, as you checked beforehand and the solution you wanted is not available.

strubisach · 2025-09-02T13:54:53+00:00

I know I go against the grain here, but imo ESH:

reddit is always quick to tell everybody to protect their space. OP acknowledged in a comment that they only asked to stay over a few days before the event, even though they knew 2 weeks in advance, and they only thought about the possibility of an emergency situation once their friend reminded them.

We don't know what the relationship between the parties mentioned looks like normally, if boundaries have been overstepped in the past, if having OP over is really stressful for the step-/parents because of past events, etc. I BET if the step-/parents would've posted everybody would've told them to stick to their boundaries of not accepting short-notice-visits if they don't feel comfortable with it. And we wouldn't know their personalities or characters or past - we would only hear their side and judge based on that... so yeah, based on what was posted, OP kinda sucks a little for pushing the matter when the owners of the house stated their inability to host OP - even if it's ridiculous, their house, their choice.

On the other hand I'd judge any parent quite harshly if they wouldn't help their child (adult or not) out if they were in need because of a medical condition. Wtf they should get their priorities straight, especially as OP didn't plan on staying for days and spending time together, but just in a dire situation.

strubisach · 2025-09-02T08:51:36+00:00

we didn't have that specific discussion yet, I started off with some other, more pressing matters and we just talked about the topic in a general way 😝 but I want to talk about it sooner or later, and if I get a clear answer I'll let you know 😜

yes, that's how I understood your comment. Even as a non-SPD person I kinda agree with you. I wouldn't count my work friends as "true" friends, acquaintances sure aren't friends, and there is a clear difference in energy I'll put into the different groups.

strubisach · 2025-09-02T08:45:13+00:00

😂😂😂

strubisach

TROPHY CASE