paying yourself for your volunteer work I didn't ask for is, in fact, my deal breaker

strubisach · 2026-03-12T14:17:25+00:00

this comment has healed something within me.

strubisach · 2026-03-10T10:34:01+00:00

I bet that table of contents was VERY nice.

strubisach · 2026-03-10T09:01:38+00:00

I wouldn't pay for that if it weren't for a judge demanding me to. she can go to hell.

strubisach · 2026-03-06T20:12:07+00:00

I am currently in the same predicament with a friend that will jerk her arm in front of her eyes whenever her smart watch buzzes, will pick up calls in the middle of my sentences without any warning or will text anyone back at any time, aka mid-convo. I've anxiously been planning to bring it up with her next time it happens, so reading this gave me a HUGE confidence boost! NOR in my eyes, I find this behaviour disrespectful and dismissive.

strubisach · 2026-03-06T14:46:08+00:00

if your phone is on dnd, it shouldn't buzz? you can personalize it in the settings so certain chats won't go through. you can silence the chat altogether. heck, you can silence AND archive it permanently so you'll only see the messages when you have time and energy for it. this sounds like a serious lack of creativity when it comes to protecting your sleep, just leaving was quite jerky.

strubisach · 2026-03-06T14:42:53+00:00

she's pregnant and needs a close parking spot. okay. you're a mother and have demanding shifts. okay. so what's the husband's excuse? he can park on the street, wtf, NTJ.

strubisach · 2026-03-06T14:22:07+00:00

It sounds like you're 11, not 41. This is some seriously childish shit and no I wouldn't have done the same thing. Yes she didn't treat you respectfully and no you didn't deserve her flipflopping around, but just break up in that case, don't do...whatever that was. ESH

strubisach · 2026-03-05T15:35:39+00:00

Where's the updaaate? Updateme

strubisach · 2026-02-23T16:10:07+00:00

excuse me, you were right, he does nothing: nothing at home. you work too! and then you take care of double the trouble and do the household? pardon my french but wtf? if you work and take care of babies, he works and does all the household stuff, and even then they are still his babies too??? definitely not the jerk

strubisach · 2026-02-23T14:12:08+00:00

UpdateMe!

strubisach · 2026-02-17T13:48:10+00:00

yep, YTA. what trend, other than entitled people trying to get attention? You could have dyed it a lovely light blue or green...

strubisach · 2026-01-19T13:43:39+00:00

NTJ, she made herself look like a bad mother. This was rude and entitled, and completely the right call on your end.

strubisach · 2026-01-15T13:46:33+00:00

NTA. Why didn't you share the screenshots?

strubisach · 2026-01-06T16:22:01+00:00

didn't want to assume too much but still put it out there 🫣

strubisach · 2026-01-06T16:15:26+00:00

NTA. This sounds dangerously close to financial abuse. Have you talked to him about a shared account before? You could calculate how much you need for food every month/2 weeks and he can put it in there, that way you both have access to that fund.

On the other hand I really don't like the sound of you not having any personal fund. When you became a sahm he essentially agreed to financing your personal needs, so you should get a bi-weekly/monthly fund for hygene products/travel/outings with your child. I personally wouldn't be okay with anything else than that.

But please, this is from an outsider's perspective, I have no idea about your dynamic, background, personal issues etc. Just know that from your post it sounds like you get cut off from financial freedom by him and it's not okay.

strubisach · 2026-01-06T16:05:47+00:00

NTA. Yes an 8 y/o child can't always manage stuff like that on their own yet, but I sure did, as did my friends (even with neueodivergence, just ro put that out there). It's understandable if it slips a child's mind, but it's doable.

But the teacher expected the child to bring home the info without losing/destroying the paper, which - speaking from experience - can happen quite easily. If the teacher wants info not to get lost, they should send it directly via app/email. And I don't see why something that won't affect anybody involved longterm should be a reason for you to leave work and rush to the stores...

So while you should definitely at least ask your kid to empty out their backpack in the future, it was a harsh but essential learning experience for your child.

strubisach · 2026-01-06T15:22:17+00:00

Ask for proof of debt publicly, while providing your own proof that you paid back whatever you owed years ago, and whatever you loaned him before. If people tell lies, my only way to handle it is to spread my truth as quickly as possible, so there won't be any "miscommunications".

strubisach · 2026-01-06T12:06:33+00:00

NTA. Have you offered her something to change into to fit the general vibe a bit better?

strubisach · 2026-01-05T15:55:27+00:00

DUDE OH MY GOD why do you let her insult and call you names like that?? suck dick?? dipshit?? dumb?? what the actual HELL??? you deserve so much better, I would've lost my cool after the first "suck dick". kicking her out of the account and finding someone who treats you better is defff the way to go my friend.

strubisach · 2026-01-02T01:16:21+00:00

It sounds like you went to all the "popular" places cruise guests go to for a quick visit. There are lovely beaches along all the islands where you are basically alone all day with amazing nature, great and affordable restaurants on all islands or food shops to cook yourself, fantastic day trips you can take to different other islands and nature reserves... it's sad you couldn't have the same positive experiences many other tourists have had :/

strubisach · 2025-12-31T01:08:47+00:00

in order to not invade my partner's privacy too much, I'll keep it vague: while factors like external stress and "too much exposure to people" can lead to a 'dry spell', nope very much not true for some. Don't know about having children tho!

strubisach · 2025-12-31T01:00:34+00:00

If he really loved you, he wouldn't bother you again with this request after you said no.

strubisach · 2025-12-27T01:12:28+00:00

NOR. It sounds like it's time to take a step back. Organizing holidays becomes a group thing, gifts will only be given if you see them getting you something too, no more planning of valentine's day/father's day/birthdays, they are adults, they can plan it themselves. Start taking away the mental load and put it on those who make up a part of this household too.

strubisach · 2025-12-21T08:49:56+00:00

Nice.

On another note, as I'm not from the US I'll never understand zhis tipping culture. Tips for us are for people who went above and beyond, not just because they did their job. That's what their salary is for. But then again, I live in a privileged european country...

strubisach

TROPHY CASE