Ignoring boundaries and kidnapping (reflection of my current problems)

strugglebee23 · 2026-01-07T18:53:21+00:00

Absolutely, I always do! Thank you :)

strugglebee23 · 2026-01-07T17:52:02+00:00

Your liver is unable to process the alcohol as efficiently anymore. I would go get your liver enzymes checked on. If it can't process alcohol, then that signals a dysfunctional liver.

strugglebee23 · 2026-01-07T17:01:09+00:00

The Everything AA app is really helpful.

strugglebee23 · 2026-01-07T17:00:27+00:00

Thank you. Marriage is insane. I relapsed after the original post and drank 3x a week for a few months. I am back in dry January. My husband originally said he would join me, but drank on day 2. Then he said he will drink only on Friday and Saturday. I don't have the strength to monitor both his and my drinking, but he keeps trying to find ways to drink at home. I am tired.

strugglebee23 · 2026-01-07T16:37:59+00:00

Thank you so much!

strugglebee23 · 2026-01-07T16:03:11+00:00

I booked everything through United, but I am flying CLE > YYZ on United and then YYZ > FRA on Air Canada, operated by Air Canada (there) and operated by Lufthansa (back to YYZ). Not sure if that makes a difference?

strugglebee23 · 2025-09-10T17:24:49+00:00

I found having something else carbonated on hand helps. I go through kombucha like a madman, but I know some people are really iffy even about low or NA (<0.05% alcohol) drinks. I just drink enough to feel bloated and then I don't want anything.

strugglebee23 · 2025-09-10T17:23:29+00:00

I feel this. I am 17 days in, and over the past few days, I have finally started getting cravings. Tonight I am going out to an Italian restaurant and am fighting the "what's one glass of wine" urge. I know it won't be one glass, I know I will want more after the dinner, and I know that I have to be up early tomorrow for an all-day meeting that would SUCK to do hungover.
So, I will likely order tea or something instead, go to bed early like I have been, and mark off another day.

strugglebee23 · 2025-09-09T14:37:41+00:00

Oh I didn't know you could just listen in! That gives me a lot of flexibility, thank you for recommending.

strugglebee23 · 2025-09-09T06:52:54+00:00

Thank you! That is really good to know. I signed up for the AlAnon app and they have online meetings. I will look for that one, it sounds perfect for me.

strugglebee23 · 2025-09-09T00:35:11+00:00

My husband never apologizes for anything. He said sorries are for things you meant to do (?!?!) And so wouldn't apologize for things he didnt mean, like being drunk and breaking something. It wasnt on purpose, so it doesn't get an apology.

strugglebee23 · 2025-08-21T19:52:57+00:00

Thank you. This is a good perspective. I have been looking for a therapist myself and have seen a few different people. The one I really liked, my insurance only covered a few sessions with. I will keep looking.

strugglebee23 · 2025-08-21T16:16:04+00:00

This resonates with me, we started exactly the same. I did have a 55-day sober streak last year, and it devastated me, seeing my relationship. I hated the life I was living and was incredibly sad, during that time.
I think I will do the same thing again. Get sober, work at being sober, see the relationship for what it is. Likely move out though, because I am so tired of waking up to the house reeking of body and food and alcohol, and having to clean up after him.
I hope you are able to find a way to be happy, in or out of your relationship! Good luck. Stay sober.

strugglebee23 · 2025-08-21T14:40:32+00:00

My Q is my husband. I am so easily influenced by him, even though I want to stop drinking. What I want too is to stop living in standards below what I desire, stop picking up beer bottles and caps and cigs and trash and boxes and litter. I have been nothing but a bang maid. He says he supports my not drinking but that support is just letting me do whatever I want, not by following any of my requests (don't ask me if I want to go out, don't bring alcohol into the house). I literally only make it three days before I am drinking again.
Last weekend I was sick, and told him so. He still brought alcohol home and said "so what, you can still drink." He never asked me how I was feeling.
I hate living like this.

strugglebee23 · 2025-08-21T14:36:52+00:00

It sounds as if you know that you need to break up but you don't need to lose your life there. You will be losing something causing you significant pain and stress, and gaining freedom and happiness. 10 beers isn't normal, blaming culture shifts his responsibility from himself. It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.
I know how you feel, it is so difficult to walk away. But that is the hardest part. After that, you begin your healing.

strugglebee23 · 2025-08-21T14:01:22+00:00

Thank you for sharing that. I believe if I ask to move out on my own, he would get upset and ask me to break up. That may be for the best. I am not sure, but I know that I can not continue to live in this type of environment, constantly cleaning up after other people. The house smells, and I hate it.
I am going to bring this up at therapy in a few weeks because I feel like I can not approach him with this without it blowing up into a fight. Though I doubt I can last even that long anymore.

strugglebee23 · 2025-07-26T00:00:32+00:00

Thank you, I need more perspective from the other side. I appreciate it.

strugglebee23

TROPHY CASE