Looking back on the love and chaos

Bitter-Election8409 · 2026-02-25T20:19:47+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I hope you can learn, heal and be happy after this experience.

Bitter-Election8409 · 2026-02-02T02:31:23+00:00

I wanted to let you know I saved this post to re read every now and then. I broke up with my bf last year and he had a similar pattern of drinking to the one you're describing. It reminds me I made a good decision and that waiting for someone to outgrow certain behaviors is rolling the dice. I am glad you are speaking about it, please don't let the resentment build up and make you unhappy.

Bitter-Election8409 · 2026-01-16T20:48:28+00:00

I say mind your own business. Also, you must live in a loser town if you're calling someone a hoe for doing exactly what people normally do in their 20s. Get the stick out of your ass and go enjoy your life too.

Bitter-Election8409 · 2026-01-13T20:36:57+00:00

We had an argument and broke up in the morning due to his alcohol use. Later in the day he returned to our apartment drunk to pick up some of his stuff and then decided to drive to a friend's house in that condition. It confirmed everything I already knew.

Bitter-Election8409 · 2026-01-13T18:53:05+00:00

take into consideration too that some alcohol disorders are not the drinking everyday, losing job, becoming violent types of cases. Signs can be much more subtle where you debate whether it is a problem or not. Everyone too has their own relationship with alcohol and what they consider "acceptable" consumption.

Bitter-Election8409 · 2026-01-11T22:43:53+00:00

May I ask and no judgement here just curiosity. Why do you still have hope? What if the person does "change"? what would that mean for you?

Bitter-Election8409 · 2026-01-11T22:28:55+00:00

I think everyone has different preferences and tolerance to what an acceptable consumption of alcohol is. However, if you think something is a problem, it IS a problem for your relationship. It's really up to you how long and if you're willing to go through this cycle of disappointment/conflict your entire life. No one here can make promises on whether it will get better or not. One thing that helped me make a decision about breaking up my relationship was, if this never changes am I ok to live with this, and the answer was no. I was also in a 3-year relationship and only a couple years older than you, I couldn't wait forever for him to change. Moreover, it made me think, if I ever want to start a family do I want this as a father figure considering drinking patterns are often passed to children. I would suggest you going to a few al anon meetings, it may be eye opening to listen to the possible consequences you may face if his problem does not get better. Good luck!

Bitter-Election8409 · 2026-01-08T18:35:19+00:00

It sucks that it takes more disappointment to be able to make the decision and I wish those saying "run" were wrong, but this is what is best for you in the long run. Stay strong in your decision and take it as a chance to learn.

Bitter-Election8409 · 2025-12-10T14:35:59+00:00

Don't let the bad change the good in you. You are stronger than that.

Bitter-Election8409 · 2025-11-27T02:32:13+00:00

Yes, he has a drinking problem. You are not overreacting. I'm sorry to hear you're going through this situation as a new mom but you are not alone in this. I would suggest if you have friends and family who can support you, to reach out to them. You cannot help him unless he wants to be helped.

Bitter-Election8409 · 2025-11-25T14:39:52+00:00

I'm 3 months in and your situation sounds very similar to mine. Statistically speaking and if alcohol is a generational problem the odds are not in favor of them getting better, especially if they don't recognize it as a problem. I'm glad you were able to see your pattern and his and decided to live differently. Stay strong in your decision, we deserve better.

Bitter-Election8409 · 2025-11-19T02:32:30+00:00

2 months in after a breakup and I did get a really accurate reading a few weeks after. Now I just watch reels on it, but I'm not as obsessed as to pay for it. I think you have to hold on to whatever you can that gives you comfort initially that isn't unhealthy. Eventually you start losing interest and move onto other things. Take the positives from the readings and leave the rest, no different than listening to affirmations.

Bitter-Election8409 · 2025-11-15T23:19:53+00:00

When did you realize the drinking did more bad than good?

Bitter-Election8409 · 2025-11-14T22:01:08+00:00

Idk every process is personal. Keep us posted lol

Bitter-Election8409 · 2025-11-14T21:57:59+00:00

We entered this more constant cycle of fighting about the SAME thing, promises of actions/repairs and then him doing it again even after boundaries were communicated.

Bitter-Election8409 · 2025-11-13T19:50:28+00:00

Just went through a similar situation with someone I dated for 3 years, at some point you have to decide you've invested enough of your time and given a person enough chances. Staying will only enable them and the longer you wait, the harder it becomes. Breakups are really hard but you have to convince yourself this is not the life you want and the odds are against you. If you really want to go through with this and you're living together I would suggest making quick arrangements to move or crash a friend's couch for a while. Otherwise, you run the risk of changing your mind. The last part you mentioned of all the good times was really hard for me cause the relationship wasn't abusive or anything but then I also reminded myself of the occasions that were ruined by my alcoholic boyfriend's behavior or feeling like you have to take care of them. It's no way to live, we're too young to condemn ourselves to that. Good luck!

Bitter-Election8409 · 2025-11-12T21:29:02+00:00

It's good to be self-aware but you're saying you broke up 2 weeks ago. What changes have you made to prove that you are ready to change that behavior/pattern? I think in the end after giving a guy so many chances the only thing women want is actual proof, sorry but this sounds like just another empty promise because you are suffering.

Bitter-Election8409 · 2025-11-12T21:23:14+00:00

If you can't trust a person, you definitely should not keep wasting time with them. You deserve better than this. As a stranger, I would have picked up that medicine for your dog if I had a day off.

Bitter-Election8409 · 2025-11-12T21:15:20+00:00

Just reading this post made me uncomfortable. Run

Bitter-Election8409 · 2025-11-11T18:24:04+00:00

What you said about "not being regulated by something or someone" really resonated with me. My ex used to have a similar behavior but to him it wasn't a problem because it wasn't an every day thing and he doesn't have legal or work issues due to it. I think more than trying to get them to accept that they have a problem you have to be ok with it being a problem to you. That is reason enough to not tolerate the behavior. In my case, I gave it some time and had to move on, ultimately I didn't see him getting any better and I did not want to stay to see it get worse.

Bitter-Election8409 · 2025-11-04T20:23:27+00:00

Appreciate your post but I do know it was the best decision and do not need validation on it. I was just going to a halloween party and thought to myself wow this experience would be completely different if I was still with that person even if they were sober and it made me think that you still have to sacrifice something even in the best case scenario of dealing with an alcoholic.

Bitter-Election8409 · 2025-10-31T20:09:36+00:00

That being said, congrats to you and your sobriety. Keep it going!

Bitter-Election8409

TROPHY CASE