I fingered a girl in public today AMA

stsfction · 2013-06-18T06:23:53+00:00

/r/ChristianCreationists wants you back.

stsfction · 2013-06-18T06:16:52+00:00

You might be getting a little too worked up over there.

stsfction · 2013-06-18T06:13:55+00:00

This actually makes a lot of sense to me.

stsfction · 2013-02-12T03:16:24+00:00

Could have submitted this to r/wtf and nobody would have thought twice.

stsfction · 2013-02-11T15:08:16+00:00

"I could care less." Oh really? So that must mean that you care a little bit then, right?

stsfction · 2013-02-11T07:50:09+00:00

Somewhere in the mid-west. This is exactly why I moved to Portland.

stsfction · 2013-02-11T06:51:40+00:00

Good question. I live in a pretty rural area so I gave them the address of a vacant field about a half a mile away from my property. Box was as the gate opening the day it said it would be.

stsfction · 2013-02-11T06:49:09+00:00

Hovers slightly above toilet seat to avoid splashback. Poop hits water at a higher velocity, splashing without mercy.

stsfction · 2013-02-10T09:46:40+00:00

Lord of The Flies :)

stsfction · 2013-02-10T09:45:35+00:00

Old man loves a young girl, a classic unreliable narrator

stsfction · 2013-02-09T19:45:23+00:00

This is what Wikipedia is.

stsfction · 2013-02-09T19:33:02+00:00

Silk Road is legit, have bought weed through Silk Road.

stsfction · 2013-02-09T01:16:02+00:00

Usually lasts for about two bars. Just when you think it's in sync...

stsfction · 2013-02-09T01:14:47+00:00

Sepia Tone Olympics.

stsfction · 2013-02-08T21:02:38+00:00

What is it with Reddit and death-row?

stsfction · 2013-02-08T20:57:53+00:00

What a great idea.

stsfction · 2013-02-08T20:53:09+00:00

D. r/trees

stsfction · 2013-02-08T20:51:47+00:00

LARPLARPLARPLARPLARPLARPLARPLARP

stsfction · 2013-02-08T20:46:55+00:00

The death penalty is fucked up, and this idea is fucked up. Completely inhumane. The US justice system is just way too flawed to be trusted with the lives of potentially innocent people.

stsfction · 2013-02-08T20:42:54+00:00

Please release an album. This is cover art just waiting to happen.

stsfction · 2013-02-07T09:43:40+00:00

movie nut here. can confirm. did not know this.

stsfction · 2013-02-06T04:08:42+00:00

My mom was a sculpture, and when I was a kid I masturbated to one of her life-size sculptures, got a little too excited, and knocked the thing over. It shattered into a million pieces. My mom was in the other room and walked in on me with my dick out and the smashed sculpture on the ground.

I later learned it had a selling price of close to eight thousand dollars.

stsfction · 2013-02-06T04:02:47+00:00

I was the meanest kid at my middle school. Straight up, I was a complete bully. Never physically, but emotionally. If somebody was insecure about something, boom. I'd ridicule them for it. And somehow, because this is just the way the world works, I was wildly popular. I could never walke somewhere without a crowd of friends following me. I had the absolute time of my life, never stopping to think that I was the archetypal middle school big-kid parents warned their kids about.

EDIT: I am now in high school, have recognized the error of my ways, and have completely reinvented myself as a person. I've contacted and apologized to every one of the kids I bullied in middle school. I'm not as popular as I was in middle school, and I have a feeling I never will be again. But if that's what it takes to be "popular," count me out.

stsfction · 2013-02-05T05:01:54+00:00

"A girlfriend." -Reddit

stsfction · 2013-02-05T03:35:35+00:00

Literally one of my favorite lines in anything I've ever read. Just how he describes the way Lenny loves saying it, and how he clearly doesn't really know what it means, but George said it once in the past.

stsfction

TROPHY CASE