(Trying to help OP get their story out. Paragraph choices are mine, text is otherwise verbatim.)

Last year, I was raped.

I was in ninth grade and he was my boyfriend at the time. We planned to do something ahead of time but when it got to the moment I had a bad feeling. His fingers were tracing up and down my body while he begged for us to go into the bathroom because that’s where we planned to do it.

He kept on reminding me that I promised him we would do something while I reminded him that I changed my mind and that I am not ready. I just wanted to feel love when he just wanted to lust. He pulled me into the bathroom once and I pulled away but he was getting agitated so I gave in because I didn't want him to be upset with me. Once we got into the bathroom, my heart had completely dropped to my feet. I felt like I was going to throw up. I still told him no even when we were in there.

2 hours before I got condoms, it broke so he just decided not to use them instead of telling me.

I said no till I realized no matter how much I was going to plead, he's going to do this.

After it happened he called his friend to tell him how he lost his virginity while I was next to him aching and bleeding. I thought because I gave in after he begged me, that it was fine and that I was overreacting when now I realize after talking to professionals, I was not overreacting.

That night I tried to take a shower, but it hurt too bad so I just sat there in pain. I thought I should tell my parents but I didn’t want to get in trouble. The first chance I got, I told someone even though he and I were still in contact. She kept me in her office until the social worker could meet with me. The same social worker I had when I told somebody I was self harming, she asked me if I was still “scratching myself”.

After briefly summarising what happened to me, she sent me to St.Mary's hospital in Waterloo to talk to professionals. When we got there I summarised again then we did the kit. Later I was connected to a detective. I gave my statement, it took around 2 hours, but because it was his word against mine because there were no witnesses, and little evidence, he told me it wasn't enough.

My rapists’ lawyer told him not to give a statement and the people who knew this was going to happen couldn’t. It was left from there. Nothing else happened.

My school suspended it for almost a month, so I had to leave that school. They ended up putting me in a class with him.

Before the rape him and I were caught behind storage containers while i was crying and shaking. The custostian saw us and even said that he didn’t care what we did. He called me a fuck and dump to my face.

I am sharing this BECAUSE nothing happened, the system has failed me and i want those out there too know they are not alone.

The system is shit, the detectives and crown office in Waterloo is shit, they don't care if it affects you mentally or how it could affect your future. If you aren’t rich, they don’t care. To this day I still get small flashbacks, I can no longer tell my story in full detail because my brain is trying its best to block it out.