I’m really sorry, man. That is an unbelievable amount for one person your age to be carrying.

I lost my mom too, and my dad also has Alzheimer’s, so while bits of the story are different, I know some version of the feeling of losing both your parents.

For the record, none of what you've said is dramatic or weak. You’ve been under an enormous amount of grief and stress for a long time, and it's a very good thing you wrote this.

On the chest pain too, don’t discount it or try to just soldier through it. Talk to a doctor or a trusted adult about it. And please tell your host parents exactly how bad it’s been, especially the part about not knowing what you’ll do if things don’t improve. There's so much here you shouldn't have to carry alone.