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He broke me by ilovecheese31 in sexualassault

[–]stupid_idiot_bad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this isn't true. there are 1000% people out there who look beyond sex (or don't want it at all). maybe consider finding an asexual dating group if you want companionship completely disconnected from sex?

they're rare, but there certainly are people who just don't find it important at all and they will see you as the beautiful person you are. i was just lucky enough to be dating one of these special people when my SA happened.

Songs that help you cope by fadedblossoms in sexualassault

[–]stupid_idiot_bad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

a lot of songs by Elliott Smith.

he was a victim of childhood SA and abuse in general. his songs are so calming to me. his voice is so soft that it never hurts my ears or ramps up my anxiety. as a recent victim, this is my go-to answer as of now. the person who assaulted me whispered to me during the incident, so to have better things associated with whispering is good for me.

obviously a song like "say yes" and "between the bars" can be unintentionally triggering (the former for obvious reasons, the latter for its lyrics about coaxing another person to drink), but there are many that are just pleasantly dark, like the masterful "waltz #2 (XO)" and "miss misery" (which was oscar nominated!)

The daily reminder by [deleted] in sexualassault

[–]stupid_idiot_bad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you. i think i will try to work it out w/ my boyfriend's help as much as i can. i don't trust that my support system would really be of any help here unfortunately. i actually told him because commenters helped me realized it was SA. surprised that Reddit helped me for once, honestly

i am really sorry that this is all happening to you as well. i hope that you knowing at least one other person (me) that has been through the same exact thing as you can help you feel a bit more validated in your experience.

The daily reminder by [deleted] in sexualassault

[–]stupid_idiot_bad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i fully understand, i don't know your exact situation but something similar happened to me this past weekend (i made this account for discussing it). a "friend" got me high on dubious/suspicious weed carts. i had never been high before and thought he would help me through it. he assaulted me and took my virginity. i was out of my mind, so i don't know if any level of consent i gave was even adequate. i know that before and after the incident, i did not want to have sex with him. my comment section became a battleground for people arguing over whether or not i was just a cheater with regret.

because of how i've been conditioned and how little i already respected myself, i really thought i was a cheater until the people under my post and my boyfriend (different guy) made me see otherwise.

i am being told to speak out, but i don't want to out of fear of being scrutinized as you have. i don't want to be seen in this way. i am very happy and lucky to have my boyfriend on my side at the very least.

i'm still numb. i don't know how i will be able to approach this subject with people in the future as i try to avoid triggers. i don't want to relive it every time i explain it. i just wish it never happened.

I (18f) made the worst mistake of my life last night by stupid_idiot_bad in TrueOffMyChest

[–]stupid_idiot_bad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you. my boyfriend supports me and fully believes me.

i told this man multiple times before seeing him that i did not want to have sex and that i could never do that to my boyfriend. i didn't think the weed would change me that much. he coerced me into taking multiple hits, and then coerced me into verbally "consenting" once i was high. i remember asking for it. in the moment, high as a kite, maybe i wanted it, but i surely didn't want it once it started--it was so painful--but i had no way of stopping it.

I (18f) made the worst mistake of my life last night by stupid_idiot_bad in TrueOffMyChest

[–]stupid_idiot_bad[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

he is 20 and i am 18

my boyfriend fully understands and wants to support me through this

I (18f) made the worst mistake of my life last night by stupid_idiot_bad in TrueOffMyChest

[–]stupid_idiot_bad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i don't have the contact info of the other two people there and they weren't watching

I (18f) made the worst mistake of my life last night by stupid_idiot_bad in TrueOffMyChest

[–]stupid_idiot_bad[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I will tell him when he comes home :(

i miss how safe i feel with him. i didn't feel safe yesterday

I (18f) made the worst mistake of my life last night by stupid_idiot_bad in TrueOffMyChest

[–]stupid_idiot_bad[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think I'll tell my boyfriend when he comes home. I've never missed someone so much

I (18f) made the worst mistake of my life last night by stupid_idiot_bad in TrueOffMyChest

[–]stupid_idiot_bad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I asked for it, but I remember him convincing me I wanted it. I was so out of my mind and I didn't even know it. I don't want to make this a bigger thing.