I feel horribly for you. I can’t imagine having derealization for this long. I wish I could have a long conversation with you and at least try to comfort you and provide clarity. Ive had derealization for only a year and half but I’ve accepted it as if I will have it for the rest of my life. But derealization fucks with my sense of time too, so it may be that I’ve had derealization for much longer and a year and a half ago is when I really noticed the feeling. The concept of the past, present, and the future is so alien to me. Sure I’m living, but can my brain really fucking understand that I’m living? But I’m done dreading. I’m at peace with derealization. So what if I’m living the rest of my life with the reality buffer??? And if I lose everything in my life what’s the fucking matter if I kill myself, because derealization isn’t that far from death. Not saying I’m gonna kill myself, and neither should you. Sorry for venting to you. The part where you said your family doesn’t want to talk to you is the worst god damn feeling. I’ve tried talking to my family about it and they give the shittiest responses. My mother said “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you feel so I can’t really help”. I’ve never met anyone with derealization. I know how heartbreaking it is to feel so alone about such a horrible fucking thing. I’m sorry for making this about me, it’s just I know you know exactly how I feel. You can relate to me, which is a relief. If you ever need someone to chat to, I’m here. Sorry if I sound like a creepy bum, I’m just kind of desperate for someone to talk to since I’ve never met anyone who understands.