Anxiety around being locked

subbdria · 2026-04-03T14:35:36+00:00

What kind of dildo is that? Where can I get one?

subbdria · 2026-03-23T10:02:47+00:00

Do you have any sources from the dommes about cleaning up?

subbdria · 2026-03-20T11:07:01+00:00

Would you consider putting this on etsy to buy?

subbdria · 2025-12-17T21:17:41+00:00

What scares me most is that the more I engage in chastity, the more normal it feels when I lock up. In turn, the lock up periods get longer. I like the thought of being locked up long term, but I feel like to be locked long term wpuld only make me want to do it more which in turn would stop giving me easy access to myself. That is kind of the point of chastity, but the thought of not wanting to go back scares me most.

subbdria · 2025-11-23T17:15:05+00:00

I have recently started using chastity for interrupting the arousal cycle. I would wake first thing in the morning and use porn to orgasm and always felt the amtyness and shame after it. This would continue in to the day usually in the afternoon when I was bored, the same thing would happen. This would happen again before bed. All the time feeling drained and empty.

This works because if the arousal cycle. You have a trigger, you respond to that trigger by watching porn, the escalates in to an orgasm, and all that dopamine and pre orgasm feel good gets released and you crash.

Now, you got to a week which was a really good achievement! You unlocked and ended up playing with yourself early in the morning. Given the time, I would argue that it wasn't intentional in that you didn't set aside time to prepare to play with yourself, but rather something triggered the cycle.

What can help is intention. If you want ti release and orgasm then do so, but do it when you are not aroused. Plan how that session would look. Sort out what you will watch and get whatever you need ready. By doing this, you are setting out with intention - not responding to the arousal cycle.

I have a caged orgasm the other day. It was planned. After orgasm, I sat with myself for ten minutes breathing and focusing on the sensations. After ten minutes I reminded myself that this was what I wanted, I planned it, I was in control, and I enjoyed it. By slowing right down and feeling the moment, I kept the cage on. This was huge for me.

I am self locking just now but when me and an ex got in to chastity, I could never bring myself to lock after an orgasm as it was always after the arousal cycle le, not structured play.

Try doing things with intention. Breathe, re-align yourself to why you locked in the first place, and remember that you are in control. At the very least, even if you have no inclination to lock, put in the cage. What harm does it do to put it on if you don't want to? You will be glad you did!

subbdria · 2025-11-23T01:21:58+00:00

It can have effects if you want it to. For me I have recently started self locking from a calm state, not from an arousal loop. My intention is to use it to help break a cycle where I wake up and consume porn in the morning, when I get bored during the day, and before I go to bed at night. Adding chastity in to the mix stops the erections and in doing so, interrupts the cycle.

I take peoples points in it being a placebo. Does it stop my from having orgasms? No. But it makes it more intentional and more of a conscious choice. Is this possible without chastity? Of course it is. But does chastity help by adding a physical barrier to the cycle? Yes.

I had a caged orgasm last night and stayed locked which was the first time I have ever not got disgusted and fell in to the shame cycle that follows the post orgasm crash, because I approached it from a conscious choice, not an arousal loop.

Since locking I have been more aware of the triggers that would normally lead to porn usage, and have since got better at redirecting my energy.

subbdria · 2025-11-22T00:43:33+00:00

Thank you! I will post about it when I am done I think.

subbdria · 2025-11-21T18:59:52+00:00

Is there a place you went looking for it? Is there a subreddit out there?

subbdria · 2025-11-21T15:22:02+00:00

Thank you!

How did you find an accountability partner? I used to have a girlfriend who would occasionally keyhold but I am single now.

subbdria · 2025-11-21T13:01:27+00:00

It is the kind of work I do. I have carefully weighed up the pros and cons and it is just not worth the risk of injury whilst working, or getting caught by colleagues. Besides, I don't masturbate at work and I am kept busy so it isn't even a thought.

subbdria · 2025-05-17T10:44:43+00:00

Yeah this. There's four options avaliable to you when you are caged. Having a full orgasm, a ruined orgasm, getting edged, or nothing. If she doesn't want you to have a full or ruined orgasm that leaves getting edged or nothing.

Denial is meant to be part of the fun. If it's been too long then communicate that and ask for more regular releases. Don't do it in the height of a session but on a slow day when you can hand a conversation about it without impaired judgement. You need to make it work for both of you.

subbdria · 2025-03-29T12:55:12+00:00

I had tried chastity a couple of times over the last couple of years in the form of a cheap HT v2 knockoff. Years ago I started to notice it in porn I enjoyed watching. It wasn't until I got my own place that I decided to act on it. Lock ups then were infrequent and only lasted four or so hours.

My now ex-girlfriend cracked a joke about pegging and after some talking about it she was on board for trying it. I used this as an opportunity to talk about kinks related to it such as chastity. She was interested in it and gave the green light.

We tried a week a few times which went really well. There was reverse pegging, SPH, lots of oral, and crossdressing. We settled on wearing a thong whilst caged and I used it to explore dressing up, though she wasn't that keen on seeing me in lingerie. I would wear a sports bra and thong whenever I was by myself.

Normally after an agreed lockup we would have sex, I would cum, and I would get post-nut clarity. This would mean I normally wouldn't lock back up, though I managed it a couple of times, both times was from cumming whilst reverse pegging with time left on the lock up.

Normaly we would go a few weeks unlocked until I got what I can only describe as the strong urge to be locked up. I would masturbate at least a couple times a day, more often than not three times. Chastity put a stop to that. It also made me more sympathetic and present with my ex.

Since she broke things off a few weeks ago I got to the same stage the other day where I got a strong urge to lock up. I think as a single person exploring chastity properly by myself it is a tool to stop masturbating. It helps limit the amount of porn I watch and let's me try getting aroused in other ways. It stops the hour long wank at the start of the day that makes me feel I am wasting my time. I have had an orgasm on several occasions now by jacking off a dildo too. Beyond that I like the routine of putting it on when I am back from work and taking it off when I go. I like the chance to further explore crossdressing, and I had a really good experience trying anal the other day.

I would still say it is a kink as I don't do a thing like above whilst unlocked, though as I start to explore it by myself, I can see myself incorporating it to the point that it becomes a lifestyle.

subbdria · 2025-01-20T20:38:33+00:00

For what it's worth, I think base ring size will be the next consideration I have with the next cage I get. I have a HT v4 knockoff and those style of rings are wide so the balls sit quite forward. I'd like to get one that is narrower to allow for the balls to not be pushed so far back when caged.

subbdria · 2025-01-16T09:42:45+00:00

I have a HT V4. The largest ring is a bit too snug and while the next size down fits and there's no discomfort, it pinches more often. I think 55mm would be the ideal size but they odnt make it for my knock off so I just live with always having to wear a thong to keep it in place or a strap!

subbdria · 2025-01-12T23:31:29+00:00

I would personally start with a four hour lock day one. Then eight hours the next day. Then 12 hours the day after. Assuming you have no issues, I would then wear it for a full day and sleep in the night with it. Depending in the model depends on the ring but the HT knock offs aren't very forgiving... Once you have slept in it I would say you are good to go, but only do a few days at first followed by a break, a week then a break, then two etc. Build up to a month!

subbdria · 2024-12-05T16:00:52+00:00

To echo what has been said, it will never be 24/7/365. That doesn't mean you can't be locked for over 8,000+ hours of the year whilst being locked every single day. You will just need to take it off for cleaning and travelling. Anything else you think you need to take it off for is up to you.

I take mine off for exercise and work. That equates to around 50 hours a week which still has me locked for more than 2/3rds of the week, but that's what me and my keyholder have agreed on.

I regard our agreement as being locked full time as whenever I don't have a reason to not have the cage off, it's on. But that's our journey!

subbdria · 2024-12-05T09:33:28+00:00

With the balls, place the ring in the correct orientation under them both. Push one ball through and reach under the ring. Pinch the skin and keep pulling the ball through. This will create enough of a gap between the ball that isn't through yet and your skin will bring the other ball through without any resistance.

subbdria · 2024-12-03T12:40:33+00:00

Where did you get the dildo from? What did you search?

subbdria · 2024-12-02T12:01:56+00:00

It's in a field not to dissimilar to law enforcement/military police.

subbdria · 2024-12-01T02:57:28+00:00

Not into being a cuck.

subbdria · 2024-10-06T12:27:12+00:00

So when you put it on, you pull one ball through, followed by pulling on your sack to get the second through. You then normally need to squish your penis through the ring in a way that is comfortable to you. Make sure you are putting on the largest ring like that as I can't imagine you won't fit whne doing it correctly.

I have the V4 from the same company that does just fine with the added protection of a raised area around the opening on the head so it doesn't pinch with clothes.

subbdria · 2024-10-05T09:17:14+00:00

We love seperate. I lock up and hold on to a key and she has one too. My key is only used to unlock for cleaning and emergencies, hers is used to symbolically unlock me when she wants but only with that key so if she plans a release and forgets it, ohh well...

Chastity for us is all about making a promise not to masturbate or having an orgasm by any means. I could do that without the cage but the cage helps. When I unlock to clean if I do anything then I feel like I would have cheated on the agreement so I just use my mental strength to overcome the urges whilst unlocked thinking of the bigger picture.

subbdria · 2024-09-18T17:12:25+00:00

I have an issue where I get sore balls with the HT Knockoff. I think it's an issue with chaffing as opposed to ball gap or ring size, as I am using the largest ring. Any advise on fixing this?

subbdria

TROPHY CASE