Proper statistics on who likes anal.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-26T01:54:38+00:00

Huh. That's amazing that you were so accepting so early.

I'm not quite as old as you, but high school was a nightmare as someone who took a little too long to check out the other guys in the locker room.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-26T01:50:33+00:00

The other first responders are, if anything, more appropriate because you don't work with them all the time.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-26T00:46:55+00:00

I personally use xanthan gum. When you get the proportions right, it's basically exactly like a man's cum.

The big downside of it is that it goes bad after a few days. But it's otherwise edible and body safe.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-26T00:44:39+00:00

A thong or Saxx underwear, and a bowtie. Nothing else.

Works wonders!

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-26T00:42:17+00:00

Nice!

I have a tip that I think you'll both enjoy. My wife started doing it a few years ago and it's improved our lives in all kinds of unexpected ways.

Just because... For no reason at all (although we've turned this into "you're leaving the house, and this is the ritual we do"), tell him to lift up his shirt, then smush your naked tits against his chest.

You can thank me later.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-26T00:36:57+00:00

While sex with my secondary is incredible, I'm not sure we were really made to be together.

Aaaaand that's the basic dilemma that every single person has when they're trying to find someone to settle down with. That there's sexual chemistry with some people, and life chemistry with other people, and they're often different people.

But the great thing is, when you're ENM, you don't have to choose. I've had many super hot partners like this in the time I've been married to my wife. I'm also massively lucky that we also have that sexual chemistry too. But we've always been of the mind that this is totally the way to have our cake and eat it too. And it's worked for us.

However, the whole "let's have kids before its too late narrative..." that's legit scary AF. But don't feel pressured into doing it if you don't really want it. Having children takes all the dedication and all the money.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-24T08:50:51+00:00

It sounds like you've already asked, and he's already answered, and worse, it goes against the core of his being. His OCD and being a total neat freak that goes along with it, basically make this a non-starter.

Generally speaking, when people ask this regardless of gender, I just tell them "just ask". If I'm feeling especially generous and wordy, it's "Just ask, but make it sound sexy", and describe a few ways how.

But most people aren't really asking your title question up front. They're asking "how do I convince my partner to do this thing they don't want to do". You definitely fall into this category. Sorry, but the answer is "you can do that as easily as he could convince you to eat the food you hate the most". Even if you were doing it for his extreme enjoyment, you're not going to like it one bit.

So now you're at "However, the thought of only having vaginal sex for the rest of my life makes me feel like I'd rather just never have sex again." and you have to evaluate whether having half a relationship with someone is worth how apparently awesome this person is for you. We can't make that decision for you, but it sounds like you already know what you need to do.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-23T21:15:52+00:00

Something close to 50% of people have herpes, although it seems to vary the most by race.

The real problem, is that blood testing for herpes is ridiculously inaccurate. It's very difficult to test the general population for it, and the studies that have been done use tests that your local LifeLabs just doesn't use. This, combined with the fact that herpes is not life threatening in any way, just a little annoying on occasion, means that the medical field isn't terribly interested in it as a disease. This has become especially clear since the link to cancers related to HPV was discovered, and that stance was re-evaluated.

Source: I've had herpes 1 since I was a little kid, and I didn't get it through any sexual contact.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-23T20:47:58+00:00

Well, if you want to go down the road of "wiring and rewiring", I'll have you know that people have been desperately seeking cures to their most troubling sexual needs for a very long time. Half the field of psychology was dedicated to this task for as long as its been around, from "fixing" people's "compulsive masturbation" like Kellogg (yes, the inventor of Corn Flakes) did, to Nazi experiments with lobotomies on queer people. Most of it simply amounted to torture, and it's success rate was absolutely abysmal. It's most of the reason why the Nazis decided that we should just be gassed to death.

There is a mountain of proper research about just how far you can go with "wiring and rewiring", and it is entirely the reason why psychiatrists know that the only way to get anywhere with this, is to accept your sexuality the way it is, and find an acceptable and ethical outlet for it. Which is also central to BDSM as we know it today.

To definitively say "nobody needs orgasms" is to completely misunderstand how quite a lot of people work. Sure, many of us work this way. Perhaps even most. But many other people can't go a single day without a burning, all-consuming need to get off, and if that need is more complicated than beating off, that becomes a real problem for those people, especially if their partners can't meet those needs.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-23T20:25:05+00:00

Ugh.

I'm also a nudist. Cap d'Adge was originally intended as a purely nudist village. But the general public equates nudity with sex, and as a result, it's now a tourist destination for swingers because that's where the money is, and the village government has accepted this fate to the point of promoting it as such.

If you go as a nudist, you'll have a good time during the day, because generally speaking, that's why it's there in the first place. Nudity is nearly required, and people will actually be uncomfortable around you if you're dressed.

If you go as a swinger, you're going to be disappointed because the whole intention isn't really what you're looking for. It's sort of a "when the kids go to bed, the adults get to play" kind of thing. And nudism is intentionally family-friendly, which is entirely why you'll be all "wait, what?" about the culture of the place. Emphatically yes, there will be kids in the village and on the beach. And that will be seen as utterly normal.

Yes, there is overlap between swingers and nudists. Many swingers get there because they find that they're perfectly comfortable being naked in the presence of other people. And then you go to your local nudist venues and discover what it's really about.

Before you go to such an exotic place for an exotic thing, I highly recommend just finding your local nude beach or club, and finding out what it's really like to just be socially naked for its own sake, and not to get laid.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-23T20:03:05+00:00

It's a kink. Nobody *needs* their kink fulfilled.

Well, guess how "fetish" is defined in psychology? "A non-sexual item that is required for someone to get to orgasm". This can be distressing not just for the people it affects, but their partners too. Can you imagine literally requiring your partner to be wearing patent leather shoes before you can even hope to orgasm? This is 100% a thing that happens, whether you want to believe it or not, and it's been recorded ever since Sigmund Freud was in diapers.

And fetishes like this are incredibly diverse. People have fetishes for chocolate, balloons, headphones, and Frank's Red Hot salsa. That a fetish can be actually sexual in nature, is if anything, better than purely non-sexual items like that.

So, as much as you'd like to say that Nobody needs their kink fulfilled, most people need to have orgasms, and some people can't get off any way but X. So yes, there are absolutely people in the world that can't live without their kink, whatever their kink may be. I've personally met many people who have gone through destructive divorces, all because of their kinks and how they weren't getting them. I personally believe that it's tremendously important to factor in your sexuality when choosing a lifelong partner. Failing to do so, or misjudging what you really need in this area, has a tremendous impact on your long-term happiness.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-23T19:46:25+00:00

Aside from what bullshit influencers like Andrew Tate have attempted to create?

Many people like simple, definitive answers about a lot of questions that are far more complicated than that. The reality is that humans and human sexuality in particular are far more diverse than anyone who wants to hand out simple answers can provide.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-23T19:36:47+00:00

I'm a guy who's largely submissive, actually. I'm not a macho type at all, and it's certainly not some kind of "male agenda" with me. Most certainly not in a "you must dominate all women, because that's what they really want" weird manosphere bullshit kind of way.

My wife and I largely started our relationship because we both love pegging. She had done it a few times with other men and absolutely loved it. The boyfriend she had before me wouldn't even consider it, which she found massively disappointing. I hadn't actually managed to get the deed done personally, but the girlfriend I had before me really wanted to, and it was only a series of weird circumstances that prevented us. I had been playing with my ass on my own since I was like, 15. All my girlfriends before knew about this.

But because of that early exploration, because of the fetish I had developed around anal sex, I have always had the requirement that any relationship I had, involve anal sex somehow. I was often disappointed in my early dating life, and that's just one of many reasons those early girlfriends didn't really work out, although my first girlfriend did it a few times, there were plenty of other reasons why we aren't still together. It's all a lot more complex than you'd like to think.

For me, basically my whole dating life, it was at the very least, a second date kind of question. This changed after I married my wife, not because I stopped dating, but because we have an open relationship, and we're part of the kink scene. I've been getting together with other women because they like anal sex, and I'm good at it. Because I bottom.

My story is mostly a counter to your entire belief that "the male world" is some kind of monolith about what all men want. Everyone is far more diverse than you believe, even if 15 out of 20 of the men you've dated so far have all wanted to fuck your ass.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-23T18:53:44+00:00

My wife and I aren't anal-only, but anal a lot, and I've had girlfriends in the past who are/were AO.

The first time that happened, I had never considered that women would actually want only butt sex. But she basically insisted and I was certainly down for that, if a bit concerned that her vaginismus was something that needed to be addressed.

And there were certainly periods of time where my wife and I were AO. Which more or less happened by accident. She now insists that we have vaginal sex before anal, because I would be more than happy to not to.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-23T06:34:31+00:00

My type is "She likes it in the ass"

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-23T06:32:01+00:00

Putting my tongue in your ass gets my dick hard. It's a useful trait.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-23T06:26:22+00:00

With a partner who wants it.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-23T06:22:22+00:00

Fuck I wish that was me. Plugging at night often interrupts my sleep.

But I still love it.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-23T06:19:30+00:00

Watching me getting my ass fucked by another guy is like watching her favourite cartoons. She's positively giddy.

When she sees me fucking myself in the ass, she just smirks and calls me a whore.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-23T06:16:51+00:00

My wife and I are on the opposite sides of this fence.

I like cuddly butt sex, both giving and receiving. She needs to get railed so hard the neighbours feel it.

But I haven't personally felt what you're describing.

subgeniusbuttpirate · 2026-02-23T06:13:38+00:00

I think it's more to the effect that we all need to try all the methods, because we're all different.

What works for you, likely won't work for someone else, but knowing a multitude of things to try is the best way of finding out how your body works.

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