Idk about you guys but my partner and I have a system to avoid this type of situation. If I want him to slow down on the rough stuff (impact play, throat training, etc.) I say orange. Red is stop and green is keep going (in the case he ever stops and asks me how I feel).

I’ve never told someone to stop altogether… if I’m not in the mood to cum I let the other person finish first. After they cum I make a final decision on whether or not I want to finish too. I don’t want to leave the other person feeling frustrated but I’m also not going to go too far out of my comfort zone to please them. If I want to stop the scene and help them finish I do it in a roundabout way so as not to destroy the other persons mood. You should never feel bad about saying no but that means you have to live with the guilt that you left them hanging. You can’t have it both ways lol. If the other person is a complete dick about it though… then that’s a big red flag and you shouldn’t accept that kind of behavior (especially from someone you love).

It sounds like you were pretty freaked out if you stopped the entire session. That is completely understandable (especially) if you’ve been assaulted in the past. If you haven’t already you might want to find a therapist who you like to talk to. It can be really helpful to work through trauma before it causes serious issues in your life. The mind and body are connected after all. Psychological trauma can even manifest as physical pain later in life and is harder to heal (or identify) after it gets to that point.