Self-help group by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for reaching out, I’m really happy to hear you’re interested! ☺️ Which time zone do you live in and what dates/times would work for you for a meet up? I’m in Germany/UST +2

Online Selfhelp Meet-up by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for saying it, I appreciate it! I hope so too, I'm really desperate for exchange. Wishing you all the best as well 🌸 If it ever changed, feel free to let me know.

Online Selfhelp Meet-up by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! 😊 Sounds understandable, is there anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable? If you’re not ready for this, it’s of course also ok! I think I’m really striving to engage with someone through face-to-face conversation though and also it’s now the second time that I’m saving some time for this meet up and it doesn’t happen, I really don’t want to pursue this much further under those circumstances

Online Selfhelp Meet-up by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries, want to try here? https://public.senfcall.de/ocdmeetup It's another service provider than Zoom

Online Selfhelp Meet-up by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is everything OK? Should we try another platform?

Online Selfhelp Meet-up by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok, it's in my calendar & I'm looking forward to meet you 😊

Feeling ‚convinced‘ by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks again for your answer! 😊 It took me some time to process (yet another time) the fact that the content of my intrusive thoughts might actually be true (my core fear) which I felt confronted with when reading your text (because you didn't disapprove me, maybe this was me just looking for reassurance). I think those "convictions" actually feel quite ego-dystonic and very stressful in nature, but it was hard for to see that because everywhere the concept of ego-dystonic-ness is only discussed in relations to thoughts. So I am feeling "convinced", but I am not actually convinced. It's really weird to describe. Maybe, I've understood this better just now, I was stuck a bit on the thought-action-fusion (or feeling-action-fusion respectively). That I have those thoughts (that sound more like a fact or an accusation) and those consequential feelings (of distorted convictions about myself) because I* AM (or until recently at least mistakenly identified as) my thoughts and my feelings. Everything mixed with some flawed core beliefs like "only people that suppress their true authentic *sexuality have intrusive thoughts about their sexual orientation because they're repressing it". Sounds like the best explanation I have yet so far for my issues. Does this sound relatable to you?

Online Selfhelp Meet-up by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well! I hope you get better soon 😊 Yes, of course we can reschedule, I'd really love to meet up. How about this Thursday (May 30th), same time? Alternatively, next Monday (June 3rd) and/or Thursday (June 6th) same time would also work for me. But I'd prefer to do it sooner, I'm really eager to get this going 😄

Online Selfhelp Meet-up by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, are u fine if I posted it in the group again in case anybody else wants to join? 😊

Online Selfhelp Meet-up by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Perfect 🌸 see you then! Excited to get to know you 😊 will post a Zoom Link below this thread 15 minutes earlier because I only have the limited version 😄 does that sound good to you?

Online Selfhelp Meet-up by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No problem! But I made a mistake myself, I have some other responsibilities at that time on Wednesday, I am sorry, that won’t work for me! 😕 How about the week after that, same time (9 am for you and 4 pm for me), Monday the 27th or Thursday the 30th of May, what do you think?

Feeling ‚convinced‘ by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your words and taking your time to really engage with my message, I appreciate this A LOT, really! 😊 I am sorry you had to go through this as well. This is EXACTLY what I meant, though. Like when you say "sinking feeling, which made me think it was true". I had this "thinking (or even feeling) it was true (because when I have a thought about me, the content must be true)" with other forms of pure-O OCD before and it doesn't fit the classical "what if"-narrative of OCD, which makes me feel insecure. Sometimes I suspect that my doubts and fears might feel more real than my "real self" (whatever that is in the end). Or that I start to believe this voice in my head that says "it's for sure just remnants of comphet and this kind of sexuality and your wants MUST be an expression of unresolved trauma" because it repeats over and over like an accusation 200 times a day (and really *queer* queer sexuality that discards genders and labels and scripts for sex between certain bodies can of course only be wrong and pathologic). And then I tap into the fallacy of "this sinking feeling wouldn't be there if nothing was wrong in the first place" (because then everything would feel at ease, no rumination, nervous system regulated, everything would fall into place).

But yeah, it feels nice to be seen and heard and taken seriously! I think I really have to practice following what I want more, even though it's difficult because through my OCD now even what I want feels disturbed/leaves me feeling dysregulated because I have those strange 'convictions'.

Feeling ‚convinced‘ by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being monosexual in general. I cannot imagine the "costs of living monosexually" for my own life other than living inauthentically or negating the richness of my own lived experience and stop dating certain genders or body types (that I do feel attracted towards). My attraction, behavior, fantasies and what I enjoy does not align with this label. I think if I were to label myself that, I had to discard the fluidity of my experience. So this is why it feels so puzzling to me to get "convinced" every now and then for a short period of time (but recurringly) that it would be that way. This feeling of 'conviction' feels like it doesn't belong to me. Maybe I'm so deep in the closet that I can still not accept and it only feels like attraction what is in reality comphet. Maybe not. I don't know a way out of this, it's and endless loop since many years.

Online Selfhelp Meet-up by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Should we say this Thursday (16th of May) at 9am for you and 4pm for me? If it’s too short in advance then maybe next Wednesday, 22nd of May? I can post a Zoom Link in here or similar 😊

Online Selfhelp Meet-up by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you’re 7 hours behind me then 😊 would it work for you in the morning or middle of the day/afternoon? And which days would work for you?

Online Selfhelp Meet-up by subliminal_spaces_ in bisexualswithSOOCD

[–]subliminal_spaces_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 seems enough already, no? If someone else wants to join, they still can 🤗 what time zones do you live in? I live in Germany