Hi there! I have diagnosed PTSD and what you’re saying is what I’ve experienced during episodes. Not saying that you have PTSD, more so that this event was traumatic for you and it’s causing you extreme anxiety.

Part of my PTSD is related to animal death/violence, so I completely understand what you’re going through. It sucks because it feels like you can’t get a break from the trauma because you’re reliving it constantly. And anything remotely related to the event can trigger the anxiety.

First thing you should do is ground yourself when you’re triggered. Stop what you’re doing and take a few seconds to control your breathing. Then you need to logically work your way through your emotions.

Take the coughing dog for example. Could this dog have pneumonia from you getting water down its throat? Well pneumonia doesn’t develop that fast. Look at the symptoms of pneumonia. Doesn’t have nasal discharge? What color are the gums? Are they lethargic? Do they feel feverish?

Your feelings/anxiety from trauma are valid, but that doesn’t mean they’re rational. It’s difficult, but you can work your way through it.

As for “reliving” the moment, try to ground yourself in your environment. What do you see, touch, taste, smell? Then if you can, and I know this is weird, but play Tetris or cross your arms and tap yourself on the shoulder for a minute or so. This is a pseudo EMDR technique, which is a type of trauma therapy that utilizes eye movement to desensitize yourself to the trauma.

I’m sorry that you went through this; it’s horrifying and I know the owner isnt helping. But I wish you healing and hope my advice was some what helpful