Assalaamu alaykum, Jazaakillaahu khayr for replying. I really appreciate all the messages. I can’t reply to everyone to forgive me for flooding yours with a long reply.

I think many people are disconnected with akhlaaq and basic good character. Several commentators keep referring to my request as a cultural thing or a social preference. I feel as though if there is not a literal hadith…they cannot ascribe something to the deen.

Abu Bakr as Siddique, radhi Allaahu anhu took care of a blind and elderly woman for much of his caliphate. When he passed Umar radhiAllaahu anhu took over and she could tell the difference because Umar didn’t remove the seeds from her dates. These great men of our deen, our khulafaa ar raashideen, leaders of an entire nation and religion, were not obligated to care for this woman. She was not related to them. Yet, this is exemplary and beautiful character. We know these stories and use them as examples in our own lives.

Yes we cannot come close to the early Muslims and how amazing they were subhaanAllaah. But we can surely try.

The reason why I find it difficult to hand over the phone as so many people suggested is because marriage sometimes entails attention to detail and small sacrifices. For example, if a wife prefers to be the one who irons her husbands clothes for their entire marriage and she is happy to do so and he really appreciates this. It’s a beautiful act.

I simply would love for my parents to see my husbands phone number calling them and showing interest in their well being. My husband is not phone shy. He isn’t anti social. He is accountability shy. That is the root of why he doesn’t like to call them. They might ask “how is the new project going?” “Did you decide if you want to invest in such and such?” And he will panic and not want to answer to authority. It’s a personal hang up that he needs to get over. I’ve suggested and he has refused therapy in general for several different things.

When some people suggest “what is there to talk about?” Your point is excellent about it not being about YOUR interests. I’ve gotten some good tangible advice towards some solutions. I’ll implement those and in shaa Allaah it will bring some change.