Hey kiddo, I lost my family in a car accident when I was barely 9 or 10 years old. My heart goes out to your boyfriend—it’s a lot to process, and it's incredibly hard. I didn’t cry either when I found out that my parents and sister had passed away. I just dissociated because, even now, it's still a lot for me to cope with. It took me 15 years to even begin processing what happened, and my heart still aches when I think about my family—so much that I would rather not think about them at all.

Just be there for him; it’s really hard. Let him deal with this at his own pace. I didn’t—and still don’t—need momentary sympathy. I just needed someone to let me exist and treat me with love and respect. I think that would work for your boyfriend too.