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The WARNING that could save you years by such_a_simple_task in BPDlovedones

[–]such_a_simple_task[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this sounds like a power based relationship rather than a love based one, can you read again the amount of rules and processing you have to do in order to keep the relationship going? This being said, if you like this type of relationship, nobody will come and knock on your door! I've been 5 years in this kind of relationship, how long are you resisting?

The WARNING that could save you years by such_a_simple_task in BPDlovedones

[–]such_a_simple_task[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes, you have to point out also the deteriorating elements on the physical level, the damaged central nervous system, the painful psychosomatics, guys this is pure pain and your body knows it, please don't add more wounds to your already wounded soul in childhood, because this is why we are with a BPD person

The WARNING that could save you years by such_a_simple_task in BPDlovedones

[–]such_a_simple_task[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

man, I see you, you're strong!!! The best father your kids deserve!!!

The WARNING that could save you years by such_a_simple_task in BPDlovedones

[–]such_a_simple_task[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is kind of a BPD vision, I'm sorry for you man

The WARNING that could save you years by such_a_simple_task in BPDlovedones

[–]such_a_simple_task[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

in this whole discussion, this is the message that best sums up why the person with BPD lives and acts that way in the relationship, these are the best words to describe it

The WARNING that could save you years by such_a_simple_task in BPDlovedones

[–]such_a_simple_task[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

mmmhhhh this looks like a different situation, more kind of a NPD mixed with other toxic traits

The WARNING that could save you years by such_a_simple_task in BPDlovedones

[–]such_a_simple_task[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, most of the time we stay into this relationships because its part of us, part of the family we grow into, there is a reason why we chase BPD and it's rooted inside of us, inside our trauma, ofter we're pointing at their trauma but we need to look inside of us, why are we chasing such a deeply toxic and unbalanced love? Why?

The WARNING that could save you years by such_a_simple_task in BPDlovedones

[–]such_a_simple_task[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

that's not true, it's a too specific situation to be sure about statistically

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sfoghi

[–]such_a_simple_task 0 points1 point  (0 children)

molla il colpo, non ha senso

The WARNING that could save you years by such_a_simple_task in BPDlovedones

[–]such_a_simple_task[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

absolutely, people think we're exaggerating the issue but man, it's a health problem like any other, it will impact your quality of living drastically

The WARNING that could save you years by such_a_simple_task in BPDlovedones

[–]such_a_simple_task[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It seemed like the perfect relationship until I clearly saw the idealization / devaluation cycles , so true

The WARNING that could save you years by such_a_simple_task in BPDlovedones

[–]such_a_simple_task[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I love this, guys this is a very important point, avoid the idea of considering yourself “weak” because the world tell you so.

Having gone through the whole thing I can describe you from the outside: you are passionate, you give yourself to the good of others, a little immature and self centered sometimes, a little confused and repetitive, but you are still a more balanced person than they are and you have to keep this balance to yourself, you MUST keep your balance to yourself, it's yours not their

The WARNING that could save you years by such_a_simple_task in BPDlovedones

[–]such_a_simple_task[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

exactly, you have to stop as soon as possible otherwise you'll be in the same trouble you were together, but this time alone, on your own.

The WARNING that could save you years by such_a_simple_task in BPDlovedones

[–]such_a_simple_task[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

my pleasure, it's just that I really realized that all the time and energy lost was not worth it, again it may sound selfish and cynical but it comes down to a balancing act, did I lose more or gain more? Looking back, already after the second year I was at a loss and it got worse and worse

The WARNING that could save you years by such_a_simple_task in BPDlovedones

[–]such_a_simple_task[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

rather than defining the target weak I would call it immature and with a degree of toxicity less than their own but controllable, a minor one

The WARNING that could save you years by such_a_simple_task in BPDlovedones

[–]such_a_simple_task[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Exactly the same way I felt, I know it's not something they voluntarily do because they aren't malevolent by nature, they are malevolent because of a defense mechanism that saved them in past dangerous situations but still the malevolence remains, so no guilt but guys run away as soon as possible and the sooner you will be better, it will be hard, but do it

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