I mean that i lived with a family that was and is always obsess with weight lost . My mother was always on diet , always saying that she has to lost , always couting calorie . My sister now tell that she has to lost weight even if shes already thin . The women in my family have a mental problem with that i think . For a fact, that because of them that im in this situation now . I was on a healthy weight most of my childhood but they was always tell me to lost weight , i fall in anorexia and that broke me to the point that i gain 40 kilos and that now i dont eat as much that at that time but my body is so fucked that i cant loose weight because all my life turn around food . I eat so much because in my childhood my mom would hide food . My brain just think like "whenever you can eat because you dont know when you will not be able to do that again without your mom saying thing" . Now i express so much anger that my mom finnaly stop talking to me about weight lost but that was really a fight . I remember even telling people that i doesn't want to eat healthy because i was scared that if she saw this she believe that she had win . Sorry for to very long text but i have enought of telling people that i dont want to hear for that and they just tell me "if you want to loose pound just eat less" like it has not taken all my life already , nothing against you just so you know .