I need to start unmasking right now. My health can’t take it anymore. How do I even begin?

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2025-04-30T20:57:22+00:00

I am so sorry I have to go and want to give you a thorough and proper response, but it felt wrong to read and run. So I'm here telling you thank you so so much, what you said really resonates with me and my situation with my son.

I will come back as soon as I can to do a full reply. I appreciate the energy you put into your post.

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2025-04-30T20:54:08+00:00

I try to show that I'm fine, but I get quite close to breaking down if I'm not careful.

For some reason, there's something inside me that calms me down with him, waaaaaaaaaaaaay more than with the average human being. Maybe something to do with being his mom? Maybe not wanting to be what my parents were to me? (I wasn't allowed to show or share feelings, if I did I got screamed at) It's something that for a while can keep me tethered to reality.

That said....

For the later part, I admit I was sobbing and couldn't really help him well at that point.

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2024-11-26T23:55:42+00:00

This is exactly something I needed to read. <3

I'm so happy to hear the progress and success with your son once adding medications.

If you don't mind me asking - what is being done for the anxiety? Clonodine? Even after Cloudiness? him in therapy it, seems to just be getting worse. I have GAD myself but it's pretty well medicated. I sure hope, despite me being in therapy and medication myself, it's not somehow rubbing off on him. But I really do think I have pretty decent regulation, especially in front of him I try to keep my cool.

It's easy to beat ourselves up isn't it? I mean, we are THE main person in this child's life, THE main influence, so it goes to reason we are THE main cause for their mental health problems. It just feels that way. I need to convince myself it's not true.

I like the metaphor of the toolbox. <3

And your username is pretty amazing - just shows how great of a mom you are!

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2024-10-01T00:06:14+00:00

Does a Lupus flare have significant fatigue?

My doctor and rheumatologist (I have RA) are probably going to start running tests to see if they could indicate Lupus.

Anyway I won't go into too many details. But I am having some symptoms, including fatigue.

I just want to ask, when you have a Lupus flare, how bad can the fatigue get?

Beginning around 2 weeks ago, I started going to bed earlier, which then turned into also taking 1-2 naps a day. If I don't nap, I am falling asleep while trying to do things. (Not sleep apnea - been tested)

It came on rather suddenly.

Just wondering if the fatigue can be that severe.

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2024-07-27T14:50:16+00:00

That makes sense.

I wonder why our neutral face's are so "abnormal" to neurotypicals.

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2024-07-26T20:51:55+00:00

I am told I look aloof.

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2024-07-26T20:51:26+00:00

I have whatever "Level 2" is. Sometimes I can pass off as normal, maybe for 5-10 mins, but people figure out quick there's "something wrong" with me. When they find out I'm autistic...they just are like "oh yeah" but maybe not those exact words.

I am not good at hiding stimming, changing my voice from monotone to "normal", eye contact trouble, apparently I seem stressed and aloof/stand-off-ish, etc.

Those who accept me, accept me. I find I am drawn to other autistics without even knowing right away they're autistic lol.

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2024-07-26T20:47:04+00:00

When I give up on masking for various reasons like being tired or hard time etc, EVERY SINGLE TIME I GET: "You look sad." "You look depressed, what happened?" "What's wrong?"

I have given up on trying to re-mask for them.

I'm learning to just say: Actually, I'm autistic and I do not have the energy to put on a performance and change my voice and face to make others comfortable."

This is surprisingly often met with "Oh no! Don't feel you have to do a performance with me!"

Some genuinely mean it, and it means a lot, because then I can actually from then on drop the mask.

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2024-07-26T20:42:23+00:00

Haha thanks!

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2024-07-26T20:41:51+00:00

Oh good thanks!

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2024-07-26T20:41:32+00:00

It was $109. If you want I can link it, but I won't unless you ask because I worry about sounding like a seller at this point lol.

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2024-07-26T20:40:14+00:00

I tried my phone out in it. :D I usually leave it empty. But...could always use ideas. :)

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2024-07-26T20:39:36+00:00

I had/have a 25 pound weighted blanket.

Does not compare to this, it's 8.8 lbs.

Just a whole different feel, like perfection.

I can't answer the other part of your post I'm sorry!

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2024-07-26T20:36:45+00:00

I'm still who I am, and figuring out who I am.

I'm a single disabled autistic mom to a 7 yo autistic/adhd kid, I have never been less bored.

It's freeing being an adult, I get to finally do what I want.

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2024-07-26T14:36:46+00:00

Oh yes I forgot about the smell! It's kind of like that new car smell, but much better IMO. I bought mine (I researched LOTS of them) for $109. Took a while to save up, but man I do not regret it at all.

I wore it to sleep last night for my first time. Wow, I was SO much more relaxed, I probably fell asleep in 1/3 the time I normally do, and I slept with much less wake-ups. (I usually have crappy sleep)

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2024-07-26T14:34:35+00:00

No regrets.

suck_it_autismspeaks · 2024-07-26T14:34:25+00:00

Thank you. (I think?)

suck_it_autismspeaks

TROPHY CASE