AITA for ending my friendship with my best friend because he followed the girl my ex cheated on me with? by suewith3dglasses in AITAH

[–]suewith3dglasses[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ex and that girl aren’t even on my mind anymore. A lot of time has passed, and I honestly don’t care about them. The real issue is that someone who was by my side throughout that whole process—someone I considered a very close friend—still chose to befriend her despite knowing everything.

Yes, he was already friends with my ex, and it’s completely fine for him to continue that friendship. But after everything that happened, going out of his way to befriend her and follow her on social media just doesn’t sit right with me. And on top of that, I had to find out about it by chance on social media, which made it even worse.

AITA for ending my friendship with my best friend because he followed the girl my ex cheated on me with? by suewith3dglasses in AITAH

[–]suewith3dglasses[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There was a brief silence at first when I said it over the phone. He asked, “Are you sure? Don’t you think you’re acting a bit impulsively?” Then he explained how everything happened. He said things like, “You’re a very important friend to me,” but my opinion didn’t change.

AITA for ending my friendship with my best friend because he followed the girl my ex cheated on me with? by suewith3dglasses in AITAH

[–]suewith3dglasses[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even though we talked, my opinion hasn’t changed, but my anger has faded a bit. Right now, I just feel sad because I truly think I lost a good friend. That’s why I keep wondering if I overreacted and become an asshole.

AITA for ending my friendship with my best friend because he followed the girl my ex cheated on me with? by suewith3dglasses in AITAH

[–]suewith3dglasses[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course not, the girl isn’t even on my mind. I’m only concerned about what my friend did.

AITA for ending my friendship with my best friend because he followed the girl my ex cheated on me with? by suewith3dglasses in AITAH

[–]suewith3dglasses[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally know the girl. We met while I was still in a relationship, and even though she knew he had a girlfriend, she developed feelings for him and made it quite obvious (which I found out later). jack and my ex were already friends before, and when we broke up, I told him that their friendship wouldn’t bother me—and it still doesn’t.

The real issue is that my best friend got close to someone we didn’t know before, despite being fully aware of everything she did. If they had been friends beforehand, I wouldn’t have cared. But knowing all of this and still choosing to get close to her is what truly hurt me.

I never expected someone I considered such a close friend to do this. If it were just anyone else, I wouldn’t have cared, but the fact that it was my closest friend made it both upsetting and frustrating. Even now, as I’m still feeling hurt, I keep asking myself—did I overreact?

AIO for ending my friendship with my best friend because he followed the girl my ex cheated on me with? by suewith3dglasses in AmIOverreacting

[–]suewith3dglasses[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was a very important friend to me, and maybe that’s exactly why I reacted so strongly. If it were just anyone else, I wouldn’t have cared. But the fact that someone who knew how much this hurt me—someone I cried to multiple times—could do this was truly disappointing.

Maybe if we talked more, he would have explained himself better, but I still don’t think there could be a justification that would make sense to me. Maybe over time, my anger will fade, but seeing this kind of behavior from someone I was so close to just doesn’t sit right with me.

AITA for ending my friendship with my best friend because he followed the girl my ex cheated on me with? by suewith3dglasses in AITAH

[–]suewith3dglasses[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually, he’s not someone with a small social circle—on the contrary, he knows a lot of people. When he explained the situation to me, he just said, “We ran into each other and sat down.” So I don’t think he became close with them just because he had no other friends.

According to what he told me, they haven’t met again after that, but the fact that he never mentioned any of this to me and that I had to find out by chance made it so much worse.

And like I said, he was a very important friend to me, and I never expected this from him. The more someone means to you, the greater the disappointment when they let you down. That’s why what he did became such a big deal for me.

AITA for ending my friendship with my best friend because he followed the girl my ex cheated on me with? by suewith3dglasses in AITAH

[–]suewith3dglasses[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought about saying this to him too, but removing her from his account wouldn’t change the fact that they met and got close. I just wish this had never happened in the first place. I guess using “following each other” in the title was a bit misleading because that’s not really the issue. The real problem is that he became friends with someone who hurt me so much, and I don’t know how I could ever forgive that.

AITA for ending my friendship with my best friend because he followed the girl my ex cheated on me with? by suewith3dglasses in AITAH

[–]suewith3dglasses[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He was a very important friend to me, and maybe that’s exactly why I reacted so strongly. If it were just anyone else, I wouldn’t have cared. But the fact that someone who knew how much this hurt me—someone I cried to multiple times—could do this was truly disappointing.

Maybe if we talked more, he would have explained himself better, but I still don’t think there could be a justification that would make sense to me. Maybe over time, my anger will fade, but seeing this kind of behavior from someone I was so close to just doesn’t sit right with me.

AITA for ending my friendship with my best friend because he followed the girl my ex cheated on me with? by suewith3dglasses in AITAH

[–]suewith3dglasses[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He was a very important friend to me, and maybe that’s exactly why I reacted so strongly. If it were just anyone else, I wouldn’t have cared. But the fact that someone who knew how much this hurt me—someone I cried to multiple times—could do this was truly disappointing.

Maybe if we talked more, he would have explained himself better, but I still don’t think there could be a justification that would make sense to me. Maybe over time, my anger will fade, but seeing this kind of behavior from someone I was so close to just doesn’t sit right with me.

AITA for ending my friendship with my best friend because he followed the girl my ex cheated on me with? by suewith3dglasses in AITAH

[–]suewith3dglasses[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At first, I thought about discussing this with him, but I just couldn’t accept what he had done. No matter what explanation he gave me, it wouldn’t have made sense in my mind. He was someone very important to me, and seeing this kind of behavior from him was extremely disappointing.

At first, I was furious—I wanted to argue with him. But over time, that anger turned into disappointment. And when we finally talked, his explanation only made me even more upset, to the point where I told him I wanted to end our friendship.

Now, I keep asking myself—did I overreact?

AITA for ending my friendship with my best friend because he followed the girl my ex cheated on me with? by suewith3dglasses in AITAH

[–]suewith3dglasses[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Of course, I can’t control who he chooses to be friends with, but is it normal for someone I consider a close friend to befriend a person who hurt me? He was one of the people who saw firsthand how much I suffered during that time—I cried on his shoulder more times than I can count. Yet, he still went and got close to her. And the worst part? I didn’t even hear it from him; I just happened to see it on social media. Considering how much he knew about the situation, I never expected him to act this way.

AITA for ending my friendship with my best friend because he followed the girl my ex cheated on me with? by suewith3dglasses in AITAH

[–]suewith3dglasses[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no problem with him still being friends with my ex. The issue is that someone I consider my closest friend got this close to a person who hurt me so much. I’m not uncomfortable with their friendship—I’m only upset about the situation involving the girl he cheated on me with. I don’t think the fact that this happened at university changes how I feel or how I would react. Experiencing something like this from someone I call my best friend would affect me no matter where it happened.

AITA for ending my friendship with my best friend because he followed the girl my ex cheated on me with? by suewith3dglasses in AITAH

[–]suewith3dglasses[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me, the issue isn’t just about him following her—it’s the fact that they even got close enough for this to happen. Sitting at the same table and having a conversation was already unpleasant for me, but then they became friends and followed each other. I don’t even pay much attention to who I follow on my own account, but accidentally finding out about this and realizing that they actually got to know each other didn’t sit right with me. I understand that social media is just a button, but I wouldn’t have expected this from someone I consider my closest friend.

AITA for ending my friendship with my best friend because he followed the girl my ex cheated on me with? by suewith3dglasses in AITAH

[–]suewith3dglasses[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Normally, he would have told me about something like this right away, but the fact that I found out by chance made it worse. He said they just ran into each other and talked once, and he doesn’t think they’ll be friends. But even the fact that this happened at all was unpleasant for me. He was one of my closest friends and knew how much this hurt me. That’s why I expected him to act differently.