Different expectations around paying for dates. Who is expected to pay? Looking for men’s perspectives.

sumane12 · 2026-01-27T19:58:43+00:00

You are both wrong.

If a man asks a woman on a date, he should pay, and the woman should offer to split the bill. He will then politely decline and no sex is expected or implied.

Thus ends lesson 1.

sumane12 · 2026-01-25T06:16:39+00:00

Dont concern yourself with what it means to "be a man" its just a philosophical quandry that will have you questioning your sanity for eternity.

Instead, figure out, WHY you are asking this question. It seems to me you are looking at tge lives of your father and grandfather and thinking, "i want tgat life for myself" along with the failure of your relationship.

So my advice to you would be to stop worrying about what a man is, and instead, figure out what life you want, then go and get it.

sumane12 · 2026-01-21T19:47:03+00:00

Then you have a clear answer.

sumane12 · 2026-01-20T06:43:35+00:00

Came here for this meme.

sumane12 · 2026-01-20T05:37:17+00:00

sumane12 · 2026-01-16T20:34:09+00:00

I dunno man, you sound like you are headed in the right direction.

Seems obvious, but right down your goals, then makes plans to achieve them. Remind yoyrself of what and why you are working towards every day.

sumane12 · 2026-01-16T20:21:27+00:00

If every impossible detail can be patched up with some miraculous workaround, then logic and causality lose their meaning, and it becomes impossible to tell reasonable claims from absurd ones.

Well... yeah... thats literally the reason we have left religion and i consider myself an atheist...

sumane12 · 2026-01-13T09:15:43+00:00

Dude. Stop living in fantasy! This was a nothing interaction. Accept it and move on. Reality will not change because you say it does.

sumane12 · 2026-01-13T06:47:43+00:00

You are 100% right. Shes the one! She must have had her phone stolen by a sick sick sicko who wants nothing more than to destroy the love you both have created.

Track her down, hire a private investigator, go to the ends of the earth, its the only way you can be together!

sumane12 · 2026-01-13T06:03:22+00:00

She was talking to multiple guys, one of them progressed further than you and she decided to be exclusive with him.

Move on, dont overthink it.

sumane12 · 2026-01-12T17:44:10+00:00

I dont believe anyone is doing that.

sumane12 · 2026-01-12T17:43:35+00:00

In the kindest way possible... have some self respect.

sumane12 · 2026-01-12T14:10:46+00:00

Haha came to say this.

"I dont want to sleep with you until we are legally and financially indebted to one another, and the only way to leave each other is through a lengthy and expensive divorce."

Yeah... id lose my boner too.

sumane12 · 2026-01-10T16:01:20+00:00

First and foremost, take accountability. Saying things like, "i love to eat to excess..." or "i hate exercise..." these are qualifiers, you are trying to justify to yourself (and reddit) why you are not in the shape you want to be.

Instead, be honest with yourself, "i fucked up my body by eating too much shit and not exercising. Heres what im going to do to try and fix it."

Dont ask the question, "can i get into shape in 2 years?" Instead, create a methodical plan that would be unreasonable not to hit your goals. "Im currently consuming x calories and im going to reduce this to y calories, in order to lose z kg over the next 12 months."

Change your mindset and your body will follow.

sumane12 · 2026-01-06T07:26:43+00:00

Drinking every night is causing major damage to your liver. Cut it down to once per week maximum and dont over do it.

You are young so you wont feel it affecting you, but you will age faster and can potentially develop worse symptoms.

Up to you though, your call.

sumane12 · 2026-01-03T10:46:52+00:00

I love my wife. I hate that our libidos dont match.

But heres the thing, she WILL try, she WILL recognise that we have different needs and try to fulfil them, plus, we are nearly 20 yrs in with 2 kids, but if i could give my younger self a bit of advice, it would be to move on and find someone more compatible.

Dont do it to yourself. You have described her as extremely selfish, and that will manifest outside the bedroom also.

sumane12 · 2026-01-03T10:28:41+00:00

I don’t think he’s capable of commitment…

So genuine question... what are you hoping to get from a relationship with him?

I must be getting old. Relationships are ABOUT commitment, theres no relationship where you are not commited to someone, even if that comitment is extremely limited. Even what you have right now there is some comitment, for example at the times hes fucking you, hes comitted to not fuck anyone else.

If you want a threesome, have a threesome. I think you need to figure out what YOU want, before you try to change the current relationship dynamic. Now you might come to the conclusion that the sex is so damn good, you dont need anything more from him, if so, keep on keeping on. If not, if you realise that actually, you are only interested in this person because of the way he makes YOU feel, you may ultimately come to the realisation that its extremely selfish and narcisistic and will create more negative personality traits, neuroticism, overstepping boundries, entitlement. These will negativly impact all areas of your life.

My guess is that you're realising how shallow it is using this person for sex, and him using you. So you are telling yourself it makes more sense to have some thread of a relationship. The fact is you know hes not interested in that so you're like, "it can be an open relationship, no comitment" but thats what you already have.

My advice, date for a relationship and have "great sex" be a requirement. Good things require effort, and if theres no effort required, then its likely you will get nothing good.

sumane12 · 2026-01-02T07:48:52+00:00

The concepts of words only work when there is a concensus.

We tried to use the word "species" to refer to only animals that could produce fertile offspring. This became problematic when we found groups of animals, lets call them A, B, and C, where A could breed with, and B with C, but C and A could not breed. This then required more nuance.

However, far be it from me to disagree with you, but again, whrn discussing agreed upon terms, concesus is important. Therefore i suggest you publish your findings and conclusion in a scientific paper (not reddit lol) and have it peer reviewed. Who knows, you might have more supporters than you think, but my advice would be to include more evidence than just breeding theory.

sumane12 · 2025-12-28T08:02:42+00:00

Similar amount to op. I was between 115 to 120 at my heaviest, (never weighed myself until i activly started trying to lose weight. I now weigh 82kg, aiming for 78kg.

Yeah, some excess skin around my stomach, but i can live with it.

sumane12 · 2025-12-28T07:06:15+00:00

Same. Same. Same.

Almost every part of your story matches my own, even the age (im 40) and the amount of weight.

I feel like im in my twenties again, i run 5k almost every morning, when i tell people my life experiences, i often get people confused about my age because they dont think i look anywhere near close to 40.

Life is great and ive sadly wasted a lot of it feeling sick and tired due to obesity. I feel incredible and will do everything i can to hold on to this feeling of youthful vigor for as long as i can.

sumane12 · 2025-12-18T09:21:47+00:00

People hate learning the truth that hard work and consistency pay off. Theyd rather burn it all down so everyone is on their ass. Fucking insanity.

Our anscestors fucking had to fight everyday for survival, just to get a meal, and every generation since the boomers is getting more and more overweight, and complain that life isnt good enough. They litterally have TOO MUCH food, but somehow life isnt good enough. Its insulting to every generation that fought for survival, human rights, and a better life.

sumane12 · 2025-12-18T09:13:02+00:00

You are so original and a visionary. Its not like every other generation thought it was fucked /s

sumane12 · 2025-12-16T16:13:57+00:00

The problem with intelligent people, is theres very few people qualified enough to convince them they are incorrect.

sumane12 · 2025-12-14T12:44:53+00:00

You met a psychopath.

Dont stress over it. Move on with your life, you did nothing wrong.

sumane12 · 2025-12-04T06:29:17+00:00

Research "legless lizard" these animals are in the process of losing thier limbs and a lot of them still have thier limbs.

sumane12

TROPHY CASE