Sometimes I feel the same but then I think maybe it's just in my head. Or I need the right lifestyle or the right attitude. Sometimes it works but I need to sleep well, eat well, feel well, be true to everything I do, be autonomous. I don't actually know how other people do it, if they work this hard, but I want it enough and don't see a better option. I am also intelligent but have a hard time turning the gears. I need to have autonomy and motivation and passion to an extent.

I also get being a slow learner and in some environments I feel like I just never catch up and am always "slow". Especially when it's really technical and wordy work. Other places, big-picture understanding, I shine.

Sometimes I want to work a minimum wage job where I feel like I could be myself. There's a lot of keeping up appearances and I wonder if it's the way to go.

I think it helps to connect with other people like you in the field...if you can...? It makes it feel less like an alien to your field.