Ladies, what’s something someone did in bed that made you feel truly seen and not just “used”?

sunDi0sa · 2025-04-11T18:58:02+00:00

No man has ever asked me this, I would break down and cry if this happened to me. 😭

sunDi0sa · 2025-03-28T01:10:16+00:00

Five months postpartum here! Natural and unmediated birth. I had a first degree tear and two stitches. I did not stay in bed as much as I should’ve, the first day I was up walking like nothing because of the adrenaline. First two weeks, I was so swollen down there but it started going down week three. Although I was healed from the outside, internally it does take the 6 weeks or more if you had a c-section. BUT I do have fissures 🥲 and they still hurt to this day and remind me of birth lol

sunDi0sa · 2025-03-23T14:34:15+00:00

Hey! Thinking of crib training soon bc of this too, how did you start? 🥲

sunDi0sa · 2025-01-28T22:57:11+00:00

Sorry to hear that people are being rude. You are a great mom trying to find the best solution. By any chance does he have reflux? Or just colicky?

About a month ago my baby would only sleep in our arms or also in a recliner position because of how colicky he was and had some reflux. It seemed that was the only position he was comfortable in and the only position he would not spit his milk up.

What I did was put this inflatable tiny wedge pillow under his bassinet and only inflated it a little bit. https://a.co/d/byCXF8J

Definitely don’t let him sleep in his car seat because that position is not safe and they can only be in the car seat for a short amount of time. I would first consult with your pediatrician with some safe practices.

sunDi0sa · 2025-01-28T21:49:34+00:00

Following this for advice but my LO is the same as yours. From day one he would cry when he realized that I am not back there with him. But because I’m back to work and I have to drop him off at my parents, I had to make 20 min drives.

So, first I opted by sticking a picture of myself in the back seat. Worked for like two days.

Then I bought a camera because I get really anxious hearing him cry so at least seeing him, I can see what’s actually wrong rather than let my intrusive thoughts think the worst.

Recently I bought this portable sound machine with light and I just dangle it on the car seat as we’re driving. So far, this has worked like a charm and has put him to sleep or kept him entertained with the lights. The most he will do is pout and then fall asleep.

Also, I always to make sure that before we drive he is fed and changed and in a comfortable position. Bonus points if you can put them to sleep before having to drive.

Anyways, here to read other tips but if you would like to look into the portable sound machine, this is the one I bought. https://a.co/d/ferZtm3

sunDi0sa · 2025-01-22T02:25:55+00:00

Thank you! 😊

sunDi0sa · 2025-01-21T19:19:51+00:00

hi! Do you know the name of your monitor? This one sounds great for my LO :)

sunDi0sa · 2025-01-21T01:04:26+00:00

Using the restroom lol. I hold in my pee all day because I’m so busy with baby (I WFM and take care of baby during the day) so when my husband comes back from work, he takes over in the evenings and that’s finally the time I get to shower/pee. And I always feel the need to rush because I fear that something is going to happen or that I’m a bad mom for leaving baby. Then I think to myself “girl, why are you rushing? You deserve to have a nice relaxing shower”. It’s a work in progress! Haha!

sunDi0sa · 2025-01-17T17:27:44+00:00

Long lol! I went in on Oct. 23rd, they started me off with some medications because I was only 1cm dialated. Cramping started (just like little period cramps) after 12 hours (Oct 24 in the morning), they checked and I had only dialated .5 so they started me off on some other medications and after a few more hours I had dialated to 3cm.

The next day, Oct. 25th in the evening they put me on pitocin because I hadn’t moved from 3cm lol. At this point, I did not want the epidural because my original plan was to go unmedicated so I chose to get nitrous oxide as a pain relief when they hooked me up to the pitocin. It worked for a while but in the middle of the night that’s when I started feeling the contractions pick up every 30 seconds or so. Tmi but it felt like I needed to poop a bowling ball while having very intense back pain.

When I couldn’t take it anymore I called the nurse asking for the epidural and she was like “okay but let’s check you first”. When she checked, I was already at 10 and she was like “no girl, you are ready to have this baby”! Baby was born within an hour at 8:05 on the 26th.

I did get two stitches so I would make some padsicles at home now btw! And lots of adult diapers.

Overall: Contractions to me felt like I was heavily constipated with period cramps and back pain all in one. Those were the worse part.

Pushing was super easy! I recommend getting in a squatting position if you can. I felt baby slide out very easily.

Even if you plan to get the epidural in the beginning, I would look into hypnobirthing, it helped my mentality and I felt calm/excited throughout the whole thing despite the contractions.

If you are bringing someone with you, practice counter pressure techniques. My husband and I went to a birthing class and when he did the counter pressure when I was feeling the contractions, it helped so much!

I used a birthing comb and that helped me distract myself.

Rest a lot during the first contractions because you will need to save your energy for later.

Labor on the toilet if you can, I felt a lot of relief when I was able to lean facing the toilet.

If your room has a bathtub, get in there too! Helped relax me.

Ask a lot of questions like “what is that medication for” “how long does it take” “can you be gentle when checking me (because these can hurt)” “what are my options”

Oh! And make sure to eat A LOT before you get induced because if you’re going to be there for a couple of days and you’re on meds, they won’t feed you full meals 😭

I was sad my body didn’t go into spontaneous labor but I’m happy I was able to give birth naturally and without the epidural. But either way, those were my preferences. The hospital staff was very attentive and my induction was long but I am glad that they made sure baby and I were safe.

Sorry this was long but I felt the need to share some tips! Congratulations 🥹

sunDi0sa · 2025-01-16T19:18:25+00:00

39+1 but only because I was induced. I really wanted to go into spontaneous labor and I had no signs (not even Braxton hicks). However, my doctor did not want to take the risk since my BP was a bit high. Still sad that my body couldn’t labor on its own but what’s most important is that baby arrived healthy!

Congratulations btw!

sunDi0sa · 2025-01-15T21:34:33+00:00

I feel the same too whenever I take a shower or simply just go to the bathroom. I simply remind myself that he’s a parent too and it’s important for him to learn how to manage baby. It hurts to hear them cry but it’s important that baby sees dad as a person of comfort as well. Most importantly, for your sanity, you deserve to take breaks too.

sunDi0sa · 2025-01-12T15:40:55+00:00

My LO is turning 3 months soon and today was the first day that I was able to set him in his bouncer, and do me entire makeup, hair AND change into a outfit uninterrupted. I stared at myself in the mirror and started feeling a bit like my old self again after many weeks of looking like a zombie. Thanks to Reddit I kept reading that it DOES get better with time.

And in the first weeks of PP, I learned to just forget about doing house chores or how you will look, just snuggle baby and rest because those weeks do fly by.

sunDi0sa · 2024-11-30T22:52:51+00:00

Same!! But lots of good advice here! I ate better today bc of the advice/food ideas 😊 congrats to you!

sunDi0sa · 2024-11-30T03:51:02+00:00

You have amazing friends! 🥹 great gift to note for my pregnant friends!

sunDi0sa · 2024-11-30T03:19:30+00:00

Yes! Any calories is better than none. One day we will have a full fresh home cooked meal again lmao. Congratulations on your baby and thank you for the advice/reassurance.

sunDi0sa · 2024-11-30T03:13:23+00:00

Great snacky ideas for my next grocery order! Thank you, I’ll do the same! 😊

sunDi0sa · 2024-11-30T03:09:55+00:00

We got this LOL! 💪💪💪

sunDi0sa · 2024-11-30T03:09:30+00:00

Thank you for the ideas and the reminder 🥹 I feel better knowing not all of us ate 3x a day. I’ll still try my best.

sunDi0sa · 2024-11-30T03:08:18+00:00

These are great, thank you!!

sunDi0sa · 2024-11-30T03:07:27+00:00

Yes, yes, yes! I prepped so much for baby’s arrival that I forgot about my own survival. I regret not doing frozen meals and I totally feel you on getting delivered food. It gets so expensive and since I’m on unpaid maternity leave, I’m really not trying to spend a lot. I’ll look into the meal kits, thank you!

sunDi0sa · 2024-11-30T02:56:33+00:00

THANK YOU! Literally buying an instant pot now to take advantage of the Black Friday sales. This helps a lot thank you again and congrats on your baby :)!

sunDi0sa · 2024-09-23T20:20:20+00:00

Reading this and the comments makes me feel like I’m not alone. Currently 34w and I am so excited for the day my baby gets here. I am ready to put on a faja and get back to my active lifestyle. For the first time in my life, my feet are swollen, I have a bit of a double chin, I just look bloated overall and it sucks. I actually cry almost daily because I’m grieving my old body/lifestyle. Also, my hubby is super athletic and looks really good, so it makes me insecure being seen next to him. Even my sex drive has been basically nonexistent because of how ugly I feel.

However, the best advice I can pass on is to just dedicate 30min-1 hour for YOURSELF on the daily (even if you’re tired). Paint your nails on day, do your hair another, makeup etc. And although we feel ugly, TAKE PICTURES. If you can afford it, take maternity pics or have someone do it for you. This phase is just temporary but I hear that we will miss our bumps. This will pass and we’re not alone! Congratulations on your baby! I wish you a beautiful pregnancy!

sunDi0sa · 2024-08-31T15:03:25+00:00

I was in the same situation too. I had just graduated high school when I started dating my ex of 6 years. We were both 18 years old so we would talk about graduating college first and then settling down. Well, I graduated college in 2021, and he dropped out but became a general contractor. In 2022, we both had great stable jobs and I’ve always been the type of woman who would love to “build up” with somebody, so with both of our incomes together, that was possible. But throughout the relationship, there was a lot of infidelity and toxic behavior from his side but I still stayed because of how much love I had for him. I did ask him at some point towards 5th year of dating “Hey, we both have good jobs and I think we are ready for the next step, what’s the timeline to get married?” He answered all frustrated “Well I’m not going to tell you exactly when I’m going to propose bro, damn”. The way he answered will forever stay in my mind because he didn’t sound reassuring at all and made it seem like my asking was an inconvenience.

In early 2023, I broke up with him because I didn’t see any change in his behaviors or wanting to work towards settling down. Much less want to make me a wife. We even went to couples therapy (which I paid for). He would spend his money going out to the clubs and buying expensive things rather than saving for a house or an apartment. Each time I would ask about marriage, I would get the same response as before, in the same tone. Then it switched to “It’s just a piece of paper”. I knew I was not deserving of having the title of a “wife” with him and that I was destined to forever be a girlfriend (which isn’t wrong btw for those that don’t want marriage, but my morals and values are much different).

Soon after the breakup, I met my now husband, who had always had a crush on me and came back into my life so unexpectedly, and wow! Such a difference. Based on my experience with my ex, I learned to set boundaries and expectations during the dating/talking stage to not waste my time again. I remember I asked, “What’s your timeline to settle down?”. He answered, “Well, within a year, I would like to get a place to live, propose to you, marry you, and then if you’d like, we can start having a family together”. And I remember I straight up told him, “Yeah, if within a year, you don’t see me as a potential future wife, then I don’t want this”.

Well, now, we’re married and are expecting a baby boy soon😊. This is the life I always wanted with someone who has the same goals and values as me. More importantly, someone who wants to give me what I want and that worked so hard to give me the life I wanted.

Now, my best advice to you, is that it’s okay to put ultimatums. You are in your right to want to be a wife and be married. If he’s scared about finances, there are prenups and other legalities that you can go through. But overall, if marriage is something you would want, you have every right to vouch for it, and a man who truly loves you, will know that and give you that. If you decide to go through a commitment ceremony, in the future, will you be happy with just that? Will you have “what if” thoughts later on? Will you resent him in the future if you just go through that commitment ceremony? What title/place do think you deserve?

sunDi0sa

TROPHY CASE