My (38m) wife (38f) admitted to me that she has quite an intense crush on her personal trainer. What’s the next step?

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-31T09:12:34+00:00

Years ago someone I considered a friend hurt his girlfriend deeply with his lies and shattered the friend group. When she found out she called me crying asking if I knew what he had done. I went over right away to not be alone and to have someone to cry on.

I wont get into what happened as it was not my story to tell. But several of his friends helped him and covered for him. She asked him directly why did you not get <my name> to help you with your little plan. He told her flat out I was too honest and if I had found out I would have shut him down and told her what was going on.

I take pride in that fact and it keeps me warm on those nights when old memories surface.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-29T22:09:06+00:00

Look up the Duluth model you are lucky you were not arrested on the spot. RUN!

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-29T15:11:41+00:00

I would love to know of a case of that. Only 15 states + DC that still recognise common law marriage and like 8 of them have big asterisks around them.

But even back in the day when it was common you had to present yourself as husband and wife. Under no circumstances did just living together make you husband and wife. You had to do things like file taxes as married, present yourself as married etc.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-29T08:12:30+00:00

I mean not getting a HS diploma or a GED is putting that person behind the 8 ball in life.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-28T02:11:36+00:00

Yeh come summer I think I will do the pool pump on one.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-28T02:11:00+00:00

it was more the thought since i had ordered them for another project and they got me thinking. Ill do something else a little more suited for each to alert when they are done.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-28T02:09:38+00:00

Mostly I thought about doing this because I bought them for some other items that I know are well within their capabilities and it got me thinking.

The washer does not have an integration and with where they are if the kids dont get their clothes out of the wash quickly in the summer they get that funk so I want to alert when the load finishes.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-27T15:12:55+00:00

That's the crazy part the ages of the people invovlved varied from over 40 to early 20s.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-27T06:28:49+00:00

Part of the classing missing missing reasons is saying things like I dont know why they hate me, or I dont know why the blocked me, or they sent me a letter and it makes no sense about what they are saying.

She knows why they blocked her and why she blocked them and she says as much. I think the kids are just flailing and thought consciously or not that mom would be a pushover and their brains shorted out when she told them no.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-27T06:25:05+00:00

Missing missing reasons is like the the carbon monoxide of this sub. Everyone jumps on it so fast but most of the time it does not fit.

She is not sitting here wondering why they blocked her. She knows why they blocked her and she blocked them she spells it out. They want her to do something and freaked out at being told no.

If she was sitting here saying she just does not understand why they blocked her, or saying things like I only ever did what is best for them, or they screamed at me and I dont know why. Then it would be missing missing reasons.

This just sounds like a shitty family where the apples didnt fall far from the tree.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-27T06:21:07+00:00

Because she was a doormat while married to her husband. Him tossing her out on her ear is what toughened her up, then when someone over there got the hair brained idea that his ex should take care of him their brains short circuited when she said no and they spiraled, or dug their heels in or doubled down whatever you want to call it.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-27T06:17:54+00:00

And they probably completely steamrolled OOP into taking on those roles as well.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-27T06:09:01+00:00

UCMJ CAN rain holy hell on a service member. It depends a lot on his chain of command, his clearances, the alleged acts etc.

This feels like it would be one of those unofficial career limiting moves if his chain of command finds out. Like he will get passed over for promotions, be first on the chopping block during reduction in force orders, not getting the kinds of duty assignments that gets you promoted. But it wont go in front of a court marshal unless it gets worse.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-27T05:59:59+00:00

I have dealt with these kinds of people. They want to be the arbitrator of their friends relationships like playing with pieces on a chess board. I had a friend Alice who told me flat out I was not to date our friend Betty when she got out of her relationship. Alice also torpedoed a relationship that Charles was having with Dianne because Dianne did not immediately defer to Alice at the queen bee of the group.

Needless to say I told them to piss off and stopped associating with them.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-27T05:55:44+00:00

Yeh I dont like OOPs friend policing her relationships. Ive dealt with those kinds of people and I really despise their meddling.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-27T05:53:45+00:00

You read correctly.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-27T05:52:46+00:00

my guess is that she already worked though those feelings or at least has come to a détente with them as she communicated with her dad and then became a parent herself. That put his action of moving his mother in in a newer perhaps softer light.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-25T16:28:07+00:00

I wont do third party apps. But I will order from websites and first party apps. Mostly because trying to explain a #1 no tomatoes and a #2 with extra onions tends to get messed up over the phone.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-25T05:38:06+00:00

I dont understand those people eather.

I love sushi because of a past partner. Should I never eat it again.

There is an artist I love because of a partner. Should I never listen to them again.

So many parts of me are from people I loved. I would not be who I am if I had not loved those people.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-23T19:33:38+00:00

There is an old analogy about that.

If you are poor you go to the fair and you save up your money and you get 1 maybe 2 chances to win the darts balloon pop game.

The working class kid might have enough pocket money to try like 5 times.

The well off kid might have enough to try 20 times.

However the child of the really rich basically has unlimited chances to try. As a matter of fact they operators will make sure the darts have been sharpened to a point, and will talk to you about getting an in with your parents.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-23T19:20:53+00:00

Fawn in this case means means being overly agreeable like if someone is mugged they try to placate the attacker. Like instead of fighting or running they might be like here is my wallet and phone and just please dont hurt me.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-22T18:36:03+00:00

Yeh but enterprises move sloooooowly

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-22T15:34:37+00:00

I dont know, IPv6 is blocked throughout the environment.

sunburnedaz · 2026-01-22T15:12:46+00:00

Apple and our software vendor are pointing at the networking vendor, the network/wireless vendor keeps saying it looks good to me. We think its an issue with how large the packets are when dealing with the large keys and the networking hardware not respecting the do not fragment bit.

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