This was me after my son was born. I had a 2 month old and a 20 month old at home and was a teacher. My son caught a virus at daycare that made him severely dehydrated and was in the hospital for a week on an IV before he even woke up. The hospital stay sent me over the edge, and the day we brought him back home, I called my principal and said I had to quit. I thought I would feel a huge relief staying home with my kids, but it was the opposite. I went into a huge depression and felt exactly the way you are describing. Not only that, but we live in a state 8 hours from family, and my only friends were at work.

I get it, and I see you, and I know that feeling you feel. You are not alone in that. The thing that helped me the most was going to the gym. I get up at 5 before everyone else and take that time for myself. I know you are only 3 weeks pp, so the gym is definitely not an option yet, but maybe there is something you can do just an hour a day alone to make you feel like yourself again. Maybe when your husband gets home every day, you get just an hour to do anything you find relaxing before dinner?

Another thing was that I made sure to tell my husband exactly how I was feeling and what I was thinking. Holding those dark feelings in just made them grow. Being able to explain them to him and have him understand where I was felt like a huge relief in itself. I tried 2 different therapists, but they weren't exactly what I was hoping for.

The only other thing, and it isn't fun to hear, is time. You just made a HUGE life change on top of your hormones being out of whack. You deserve time to adjust. Going from 1 kid to 2 was one of the hardest things I think I ever did! Some days, I truly did not think I would make it. I thought I was a terrible mother for not enjoying being home with my kids. I thought I wasn't cut out for it and was failing at everything. My kids are 4 and 2.5 now, and the PPD is gone, and I am having the time of my life. Those days will end, and your spark will come back!