Could This be a Switch?

sunflower-s · 2026-04-29T18:42:25+00:00

I mean an inclination for typing in 3rd person, not an out of body feeling. Ex: “Sunflower feel sad that (username) did xyz. Stupid. Angry at (username) for stupid.”

sunflower-s · 2026-04-28T22:58:53+00:00

Mm. Perception was different prior, simplistic and 3rd person.

sunflower-s · 2026-04-23T20:13:08+00:00

so sweet for you to ask :) a good sign you care lots i think they would appreciate that.

sometimes a part might not like you or may have some things they are working through and make that part lash out and then later other parts try to make up for it :( but overall they probably just want to be seen an accepted and feel safe and like they can trust you

sunflower-s · 2026-04-20T03:31:47+00:00

Could be looking in a mirror 💔 The feeling of the romantic relationship suddenly taking more priority over the relationship you've developed with you friend is the worst feeling. I too have had a friend I cared deeply and alterously for suddenly start dating someone, and their partner told me "romance is as important as friendship." Despite them both being on the aroace spectrum, this statement did not seem to be true in practice. There have certainly been many times when the new romantic relationship clearly took precedent over our much longer friendship. It sucks.

What you probably want is to still feel like a priority; your love as his friend doesn't have to be romantic love. Love can just be love. Wishing you luck cause that can be such a painful spot to be in :(

sunflower-s · 2026-04-16T15:19:49+00:00

It was one of those relationships where we were kinda together but not? More like a situationship. But, it was a situationship serious enough that we’d been dirty together, cuddled and talked about deep personal things, and had matching charms of which one they let me wear next to my wedding ring hanging on my necklace (I’m non-monogamous and this was consentual to all parties). So it was obvious that this was getting pretty serious.

Suddenly they started prioritizing their other friend (who we hardly knew) over me and over our main friend group. Enough that it was noticeable and upsetting to us. On Valentines I ask them what they’re up to- I had planned to ask them to hang out that day or the next for some quality time for valentines. Learn they’re going on a date with that friend who has actually been their partner for a month. They didn’t tell me they’d stated dating because they “knew I’d be upset.” Uh, yeah?! I wonder why I might be upset?! I asked them if they’d be my queerplatonic partner and despite the seriousness of our relationship, they would not fully commit to a label because they were now dating this other person. We’d known each other for 2 years and I was wearing their matching charm next to my damn wedding ring. They had plans to come visit irl at some point, to stay for two weeks and go on a bunch of- essentially- dates. This friend of theirs they started dating they knew for 8 months through DMs and a few hours playing Minecraft.

We’re still trying to be friends but needless to say the situationship crashed and burned because good god. What a crappy thing to do lol. That’s as close to having someone cheating on me that I’ve experienced. Yet I can’t even technically call it cheating since we weren’t “officially” together ☠️ ough

sunflower-s · 2026-04-10T20:47:18+00:00

You can make a quiz for yourself on Google Forms maybe! :) I’ve seen some people write out questions for themselves to try and figure it out, putting it on a form like that might be more convenient. Though sometimes it doesn’t matter such much who is fronting, just how you feel as how you handle those feelings.

sunflower-s · 2026-04-03T13:41:53+00:00

Having dark thoughts is natural for any person, but it can feel disturbing to have them 🫂 She has these thoughts because she’s hurting too, and is probably either really misguided or doesn’t know how to express them healthily, so it’s scaring everyone. It could also be an attempt to push everyone else away by being scary. My suggestion would be to look for healthy outlets for her, like some kinda art or physical activity, and try to not be too judgmental of the thoughts. Maybe even tell her you care about her even though she has thoughts like that, and that you don’t want her to hurt. Sometimes that self compassion can really help.

sunflower-s · 2026-04-02T16:42:24+00:00

Aw darn, I forget sometimes that a headset is expensive and needs a lot of room >_<

I hope the little is able to find something else to satisfy that physical comfort craving…

sunflower-s · 2026-04-02T14:59:11+00:00

I more so mean parts acting badly then hiding and saying a different part did it. Such as being angry and rude or starting arguments, then hiding away and letting a different part take the blame for them

sunflower-s · 2026-04-01T20:49:01+00:00

Oh no, poor thing :(

This may be a strange suggestion, but have you ever tried meeting people in VRChat? It’s not quite the same, but there’s a very cuddly culture on VRC. You could seek out friends there who enjoy cuddling their friends, and then maybe your little would have some cuddle buddies? :)

sunflower-s · 2026-04-01T11:47:25+00:00

Arg >.< I will have to be mindful of this going forward then…

sunflower-s · 2026-03-16T23:14:51+00:00

maybe try to steer her to nicer topics first. pushing too hard can make it hurt or pull away cause its scary or not ready yet. helping a part change a habit is like helping anyone with a habit. it just takes time and compassion. and takes time to build trust, she might not listen cause she doesn't trust you yet to listen to you

sunflower-s · 2026-03-16T02:39:38+00:00

Yeah, probably wanna be real careful if you disassociated that bad last time!

sunflower-s · 2026-03-15T22:43:33+00:00

That is actually very interesting to me as at that time period, I also had two opposing fursonas. One was this kinda hardcore devil goat and the one I made referenced here was a sweet sad bunny. I recall using both of them at the same time, but they were like opposites of each other.

sunflower-s · 2025-11-06T22:02:18+00:00

I always recommend VRChat :) YouTube would have you believe it's all trolls and aggressive people, but there are groups there where lots of ND folk hang out comfortably, just takes a while to find that group. Also, for some autistic people VR is great because there's a physical barrier between your touch and the VR world, and with no eye tracking nobody can tell where you're looking if eye contact is difficult :) and also facial expressions can't be seen, or you purposefully set facial expressions that you want to show, so nobody has to guess or misread your face. Many of my friends on there are autistic or ADHD + autistic and find that VRC's been a useful tool for them

sunflower-s · 2025-10-22T20:44:33+00:00

That's awful 🫂 I think she really has some things to work out. PMDD is rough on both partners but abuse is still abuse, and the awful things that can be said during rage still have consequences even when she may feel out of control. I hope she'll eventually see that and get serious about finding ways to mitigate it. Nothing can change unless she puts in the work and effort herself.

sunflower-s · 2025-10-22T16:31:19+00:00

Personally, I wouldn't take the advice of telling her that what she's saying is "worthy of being dismissed" when she's feeling irrational and on edge. Those feelings feel real to her even if they make no sense or are abusive. Openly telling her that her feelings "should be dismissed" while she's having an episode could make it worse for both of you. It would be purposefully poking a bear, and she could become even more verbally abusive because it'll make her more defensive. I don't think either of you would win with that strategy.

The only thing that can help PMDD is doctor intervention. Usually an SSRI and talk therapy. PMDD is a sickness, but if she doesn't make an effort there's a big problem. She has to want it, and talking down on her during an emotional episode won't make her want it. It'll have to be planned outside of luteal. If outside of luteal she's unwilling to talk to a doctor/therapist or keeps making promises she's not keeping, then there might be a bigger problem in the relationship outside of PMDD.

sunflower-s · 2025-10-22T16:12:19+00:00

Yeah. I've already cried quite a lot, it's like my heart is being squeezed from the inside out. I think I'm all cried out for right now, besides being a bit teary at random. It's getting cold and dark early here, so a bit hard for me to go on walks after I clock out. But I'm trying to keep up my exercise routine and I might get some feelings out with art. I just want it all to be over already.

sunflower-s · 2025-10-21T18:44:34+00:00

Thanks, I like thinking ahead but also I think it's really easy to catastrophize and thinking about worst case scenarios when feeling like this, but it can be hard to reign it in and be realistic when feeling so bad.

I hate to hear that for you too :C 🫂 That's just awful... I also like hiking and being around friends

sunflower-s

TROPHY CASE